We've been married for 2 1/2 months. 2nd marriages. I make more money then my husband. Now, I have found that he is just expecting me to pay for things. I pay all household bills, car insurances, food ect... He has to pay child support so I respect that fact and only expect him to pay for our health insurance - $40.00 a week. Now, I've gone out of my way to make a great Christmas for everyone including his son in Fl. He hasn't paid anything - keeps saying he will, but NEVER see any money. He goes bowling on Thurs nights and drinks it up. What do I do? I've said something a few times but then I get blamed for being a bit--. Help! He is draining me! I don't mind sharing, but this is too much.
2006-12-19 00:14:16 · 23 answers · asked by newpitt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this sounds like he is milking you. you should ask him to pay more than just the insurance evenif he has to pay child support as well. how about groceries and the phone or light bill. if he has the money to go bowling and drinking then he can pay more bills. I wold tell him to either start pulling his weight or get out. after all, you can do it by yourself and it sounds like it would be much less of a hassle.
2006-12-19 00:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by yensenm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is behaving this way because you are allowing him to. And he calls you a bit.ch when you talk to him about it? What kind of a man is this? He lets his wife pay all the bills and goes out drinking with his money, and all he has to pay is child support for his kids, not yours?
This is very wrong, and he sounds like an a'hole to me. If you really want to stay with this man, which I wouldn't, you need to start a new arrangement whereby you both pay money into a joint account to cover the bills. You cannot be expected to cover all the bills on a house you both share. That's ridiculous, and he knows it. He is taking you for a ride here.
And he hasn't paid a dime for Christmas either? This man either has no self respect at all, or he is simply a bad person. Either way, is this really the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? A man that thinks he can live off you for free just because you earn more, and cusses you out when you challenge this?
I'd be asking yourself some serious questions right now.
2006-12-19 00:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nip this in the bud now! Sit your newly husband down now and let him know this has to stop. Ok so we applaud him for paying his child support he should he helped to create them. But that doesnt mean that YOU should make up for what he has to pay. Money issues are always a stress on marriages so I hate to say this but, if you feel this way now I dread the thought of what you may feel later.
Your best bet would be to stop giving him money open yourself up an account and start building yourself a nest egg. If not this husband of yours is going break your purse!
Dear take this advice and nip it in the bud!!! Don't give him another cent to go out bowling or anything else. Everything should be 50/50 this isnt the case. Best of luck to you for some reason I don't think this is going to work. Sorry to say that but he's using you sweetie.
2006-12-19 01:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by ssgtmommy01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as a 2nd Husband in the same boat as your husband, let me just say, having a little money to buy a burger when I wanted was a welcome change after 5 years of barely making it. If you care for him, sit down and talk it out. Work out as much as you can. Don't let him get by without paying anything and 40 a week is weak, what is he doing for a living picking up bottles? Make him pay his share and everyone will be happier
2006-12-19 00:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by Rich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is an issue that needs to be discussed before you get married. You have to sit down and discuss your finances and outline your expectations of one another. You two need to sit down right away and work this out while it's still in it's early stages. You need to come up with a joint budget, something that is fair to both of you. Tell your husband that you feel a little taken advantage of, and you want to come up with a budget that works for you both. Sit down and go over all of your finances together, and then take a look at your income to see how all of your money is being spent. My husband and I did this before we got married. We each kept a finance diary for a month and tracked all our spending and then sat down together and came up with a plan.
2006-12-19 01:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by fortillfriday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have set some ground rules for who was to pay what and how before you got married. I suggest you sit down and have a "one on one" with him, split the bills in half. Him paying child support is HIS responsiblity and you shouldn't have to pay all the bills because he has child support, it was his CHOICE to create that child and as an adult he has to be able to face his responsilities without getting a free ride from you.
2006-12-19 00:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is your second marriage but you need to dump this loser now. When my husband and I got married (2nd for both) we opened a joint account immediately and all our earnings did and still does go into the joint account. We have been together for 19 years and we continue to share everything. At times I have made more and other times he makes more but it is all OURS!
I suggest you rid yourself of this parasite now.
2006-12-19 00:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by Alexandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him I made it just fine without him all these years and I can make it just fine without him now. Either pay those bills or kiss this marriage goodbye. I support no man and I can do just fine withot his measley $40 a week. And don't blame me for his failures.
2006-12-19 00:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
cut him the hell off til he gets the point. its not life threatening and not marraige threatening but jeeeeeesh.
sharing is one thing, but one sided is another....
quit being so nice.
this is a second marraige. time for you both to know what you love and don't love about one another and being taken advantage of is not one of them!
just conveniently just be broke. "gee sorry honey, im spent this week"
" sorry i can't give you any money this week, im poor"
just play the part.
he will get the point.
grrrrrrrr
2006-12-19 00:18:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to have a serious discussion or seek counseling. If he refuses to participate. Cut your losses and move on. Ultimately you have to think of your future and protect yourself. You're already aware he has no concern for you and youor efforts.
2006-12-19 00:26:22 · answer #10 · answered by father of 4 husband of 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋