There was no limit I was willing to search for happiness,,,however I never imagined it would be that far. He wants me to move 1000 miles away. He has a profession that would not support a move,,I do. My children are very supportive and want me to be happy. Visitation/travel,,,no problem. Job/Career,,no problem. I am going for a week for new years. My visit is intended to explore the idea of moving to be with him and initiate a life together as we both want that. He has told me that his children will accept me, and that they support his desires as well.
I am anxious because we have known each other only one month, however have shared enough communications to understand each other's life, values, expectations of a mate etc.
Everything about him is right for me. What advice if any would one give. Perhaps you have moved far away to be with the one you love. What is it like to be in a new town and know no one....starting over? I am scared, yet excited to start over.
2006-12-18 21:13:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have spent time together where I live, however this will be my first visit there.
2006-12-18 21:37:01 · update #1
One month?! You know, personally, I knew I was going to marry my husband within a few weeks but I had to move for my job cross country... and we decided to do the long distance thing for a bit.. that actually proved to be great because it forced us to work on communicating and plow through the "jump all over each other" phase. I personally would try the long distance thing to get a better grip on the situation and find out more about him... good luck!
2006-12-18 21:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by aroundtheom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One month is not even close to enough time to be considering a move. There's absolutely no way you can really no each others values, expectations, etc..... All you really no is what you've told each other. Do you really believe that it's the right thing to do. Also you say there's kids involved on both sides. I'd say go for the visit and see where it goes from there. Haven't you ever watched Judge Judy? Everyday there's one of these internet romances on there. One suing the other over something stupid like the gas money it cost them for the drive to their house. Better give it more thought than you have.
2006-12-18 21:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you miss your mom and you are trying to fill that need for your mother by seeking it in a girlfriend. Like you miss how perfect it was with your mom and now it isnt anymore. And now it's happening with your girlfriend. To expect all your needs to be filled by one person, or for you to be able to fill their needs is a heavy thing. Its too much for one person. Thats why we have families and social groups so we can all be there for each other and each do our part at filling in the gaps. Have you ever tried to hold water in your hand? The tighter you squeeze the faster you lose it. same with a small animal. If you tried to hold a bird in your hand and you were squeezing it, it would try desperately to get away, either that or you would smother it. Why isnt your mom with you? I'd die before i'd leave my son with an alcoholic, and after being diagnosed with colitis, a very painful disease process, I'd be extra sure i was there to take care of him. teenage years are hard enough without all the extra you have gone through. Although your life hasnt been the easiest, happipness comes from within. The best thing i can suggest is finding a support group for people with the same disease process, then join some free groups ro get a hobby and work on building yourself up. Also, charity work as a volunteer at a children's hospital or being a big brother to a kid who has no caring male influence and seeing how happy you can make someone in those scenarios can really help you to let go of the things that are weighing you down. Seeing a school counselor and telling them all this is also a good idea, they can help you come up with a plan to get through this tough time. Hang in there. You arent alone :)
2016-05-23 06:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you go and you will, anyone reading your question can see you've already talked yourself into it you're just looking for validation from strangers, have a job and a place of your own. One month is to little time to begin living with someone even someone you have shared enough communications to understand each other's life, values, expectations of a mate etc with. Because you don't know someone until you see them up close and personal over a long period of time. And sometimes not even then.
2006-12-19 01:39:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only real problem I have, is you've only "known" him a month. However, visiting him and checking out the living situation first is a very smart move. Make a list of pros and cons on moving away and see what you come up with. Be honest in your answers. I'm sure a lot of questions will be answered after your visit. Good luck.
2006-12-19 01:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by yooper guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like someone I once dated. Do not do it. One month is way to short of a span of time. Going for a visit ,is fine as long as you do not fall for all the hype he is going to put on you to convince you it is the right thing. I would be a careful observer and then make a decision when you came back from the visit.
He may have a hidden agenda some where. Does this guy live in Florida by chance????
2006-12-19 00:00:00 · answer #6 · answered by emtleigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i know about your situation not as far but what i did first was date him for 2 years and he moved in with me for 2nd year and i think you need to give yourself and your children more time to get to know each try by just living with for 2 to 3 months see if that is what you really want and to see if his attitude changes once you live with him .I did exactly and as we lived together in my house everything was perfect then i thought this is happiness and i moved far with him and within a month he did a 360 and i found out that he was a slob and he did not believe in cleaning that was a women's job . So please for your kids and your own happiness give this more time before you jump into something that you can't get out of . Happy holidays
2006-12-18 23:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by debuton2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who moved 1000 miles to be with a guy.
She got there, ok for a month for a he somehow took her car, changed a lock and kicked her out. She knew no one there. She later had to sue to get her car back and $$.
It took a long time...u should visit him frequently for 6-12 months and see how how he/children are with you. 1 month is being stupid.
2006-12-19 01:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by Suzanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 month is not enough to know a person wait for 3 or 4 months more because I knew pepole who can say stories and things make you happy for 40 - 60 days after that all his nice words and stories will be finished and then he can't repeat himself . . .
Also if the person want to fast the relation that much it shows 2 things he don't want you to find some facts on him so he wants to reach to the maximum point with u so after you discover his picture its too late for you to be away because you are loving him and can't go away, or he is married and also he want to find another life very fast ,,, and when you find out that its very hard to you to go away.
My advice please wait and control the speed as much as you can then he will be out of his mask and show his nature.
If he is good that will appear if not also that will appear.
Wish you all the best
2006-12-18 21:29:28 · answer #9 · answered by Mind of Ideas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it! You will make new friends and meet new people. You always have a home to come back to if you get homesick.
It's a great idea to go for a week and explore. I hope you get the chance to tell us how things turn out (ie, when the permanent move is).
2006-12-18 22:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋