My ex- b/f & I was best friends b4 we ever started talkin. Not tryin 2 sound nasty or nething but he looked at me like a sister.But,he finally told me how he felt towards me & I felt the same.I wanted 2 be w/ him but I felt like it would never happen b/c the way he looked at me!he was PLAYER,havin sex with different girls every night,type.Well,i wanted 2 give it a chance.Ppl sometimes change,right? Well,not in this case.At first it was the best thing that ever happen to me.I never felt this way b4.I fell completely head over heels 4 him tho I DIDNT TRUST HIM &I always had that gut feeling about him cheatin on me b/c his past! & he always told me he wasnt & i believed him.Well,he really acted like he loved me.he always bought me roses,sent me cards&stuff.Well,we broke up&ever since then hes been sayin bad things about me & always brings my name up to ppl. Well,he says bad things but is so nice 2 me 2 my face.I want 2 be his friend like we were but I don`t know if it's worth it? HELP!!
2006-12-18 20:34:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My Ex and I were friends for seven years before we got together.
He said the same about the girls he'd cheat on me with- that they were like his sister (as if that'd make me feel better). He told everyone about how horrible his life with me was when he moved back home after I had been the only one of us both working, he lived off me and my family, drank and was abusive, had abused the mother of his son while I was with him (and I consoled him like an idiot while he drank in his remorse), and cheated on me with his Ex wife (or wife still, seeing he hadn't filed divorce).
Rule of thumb- People do not change if they feel comforted for being who they are. I do not understand why you think or feel the need to even associate with someone who will obviously some day drag you down under and cut you slowly. You even TRYING to still be his friend means he can be an *** to you and any other girls in the future and get away without any wrath.
He's already made you out to look like a (insert female dog profanity here) to other people. Why are you trying to be kind to him?
I think he needs someone to hate him more than more girls to seem pathetic and able to be walked all over... Nothing shakes a guy up more than you firmly taking the female-motherly stanze and saying, "You've been a bad boy that deserves to feel justice", instead of another martyr who hopes he will turn out to be good (note- we who hope for them to change for the better are a dime a dozen; martyrs are easy prey).
You want his friendship you need your dignity and respect back. Without those, you're just his last meal or two-cent tramp...
To get those, stop trying to be his friend and show him your silent disapproval.. Silent being key. Simply disappear...
2006-12-18 21:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by SweetSoulX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two should have stayed as friends nothing more. When youre face to face, he tells you what you want to hear,like a good "Don Juan", and this is probably how he manages to get all these other girls, but is a fraud as he backstabs when youre not around. A "true" friend doesnt or wont talk bad about you when youre not present. Its obvious that you fell in love with sex itself and not necessarily him. It probably could have been anyone. Sex does not lead to true love by itself. More like infatuation and fascination more than love. Theres a saying about "keep your enemies close but keep your friends even closer" that applies here. Forget about forming any kind of relationship with him other than possible friends. Move on and find someone who will treat you with love and respect. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-18 20:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isn;t worth it. If he is using all these other girls what makes you think he will ever see you differently than them? he won't. If he has issues with women in general and now you;ve been with him romantically, you fit into the same category in his mind. He is probably nice to your face because he thinks one day he might want more from you, one night when he is lonely.........guys do that. The best thing to do is walk away now. Your heart is incolved and you are only setting yourself up to fail by thinking he is the prince you may have wished he was.
2006-12-18 20:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all people tend to share things that they should'nt in the middle of a breakup. We say things because we are angry, hurt or just plain trying to sort things out. I am sure that I have been talked about alot, I am sure that I have talked alot...but forgiveness is truly important if you are going to have a friendship at all. Why don't you sit down with him and talk things out. I think not caring bitterness in you heart for the rest of your life is more important then being truthful and humble for a moment or so.
2006-12-18 20:52:49 · answer #4 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say that sometimes people who start off as friends often move to the next step to realize that it was a mistake. He may love you, but maybe he misses the friendship too. He may feel that you are trying to be too much a lover and not enough a friend. Good Luck
2006-12-18 20:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by Dennis D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how you feel. If you can't trust him, you can't be friends. He sounds like he was a great guy to be with, as long as you don't have feelings for him, it could be worth it to be friends. The main thing is to find out why he is saying things about you behind your back.
2006-12-18 20:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by rhodetryp21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chalk it up to experience, honey and move on with your life. You better get tested for STD's immediately and hope you don't have anything? You didn't make the mistake of letting him take nude photos of you, did you? You'll be on the internet really soon if you did.
2006-12-18 20:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk face to face and ask him why he is talking bad things about you. If he accepts that he had talk those bad things it do not worth to be his friend anymore.
Forget him and move on, don' demostrate him that you care about it. why do you want to be with a person that talks or do things behind your back?
2006-12-18 20:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by shantabelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably hurt or if not his hurt probably his ego is hurt...
do you wanna be friends with someone who talks badly of you behind ur back??? think about it.. do you think you can ever trust him as a friend..when you could not trust him as a boyfriend...
well good things/ feelings are very difficult to forgot .. but one has to move on...
2006-12-18 20:42:56 · answer #9 · answered by hi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him alone
i was in the same ordeal as you were
let it go and you will find peace and he will come back and apologise and make up himself
you are giving him too much attention and making yourself belittled by him
let go and all will fall in place!
2006-12-18 20:46:36 · answer #10 · answered by piscean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋