Lately, I've been running into guys that I ask out on a date, only to have them tell me they "just want to be friends." I just don't get it. Did I miss my opportunity within the first 30 seconds into the date to be 'dating' material? What about all the flirting that lead up to the date? What did all that mean?
2006-12-18 20:24:29 · 8 answers · asked by kevin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Been there a couple of times. Any man (or woman) who has been told: "I would go out with you, but I don't want to ruin our friendship" has most likely been frustrated. The statement seems to make no sense at all, who would want to date an enemy?
Flirting is part of the courtship game. Each conversation and each date is a personal evaluation to see whether the union is agreeable to both parties. Usually, the gay man that says he wants to be friends knows himself well enough to know what he likes and dislikes. But where many gay men go wrong is they think another person's dislikes are directly proportional to your deficiencies. Just as there is a certain type of man (emotionally or physically) that puts a twinkle in your eye, there is a certain type for another.
You may never know what turned these guys off, but who cares? If these guys aren't into you, brush your shoulder off and, just like in a casino, try another sl*t-machine, and another until you hit those triple 7's.
If you often hear this excuse, pay attention to your behaviour. Are you the one asking for phone numbers, names and email addresses, or does he ask for your information as well? Do you call him once or twice a day, only to hear that he is unable to speak with you? Do you hound him? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," then it would be a good idea to back down. At this point, the more you hound him, the less interested he will become.
I don't know if it's possible to be friends with someone you find attractive or have feelings for. No matter what he does or says, your mind is going to build a scenario where you get your mate, and in the meantime, you have to listen while he tells you about the guy at the office that's so awesome. He might even ask advice on how to snag them, and that won't be easy to offer.
2006-12-18 21:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to add more information. It is usually used to decline or reject someone politely. My guess is that they might find you too aggressive. As you have said you ask them out on a date. Try not asking out anyone and see what happens. Or have you done something to turn them off. There is something wrong. Ask them if you have done something or what.
2006-12-18 21:05:21 · answer #2 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are dead serious about the guy you are interested in, to start things off just agree to be friends with him. Then along the way, make sure you show signals to him that you are actually still interested in him and just hope and prey he gives you a positive sign.
2006-12-18 20:37:48 · answer #3 · answered by Meeko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer see why your lady buddy needs to tell him she ought to be pals. What are they now then? Are they nonetheless relationship? there's no clarification for them to be going to lunch interior the 1st place. How did they destroy up? Did she sell off him? If she did, then you relatively quite have no longer something to agonize approximately through fact she might've dumped him for a good reason. If he dumped her? Then I propose you hardship. the clarification I say it relatively is b/c she's the single that have been given dumped and ought to verify it as an possibility to come again what she had interior the previous with him; despite if or no longer she loves you or has been with you the longest. adult adult males get jealous whilst they see an x with a clean guy. they opt to kick it just to verify in the event that they might get her in mattress at the same time as she has a boyfriend. atypical, yet actual. What you ought to do is, tell her to no longer pass. If she nonetheless does, then basically permit or no longer it quite is often happening which you will sell off her if she does do something to harm you. I additionally think of which you ought to permit her sense that if she loses you, she's dropping the suitable element. and you ought to act that way through fact in case you do no longer then you relatively will lose. a woman who has worry to lose her better half, whilst it comprises disrespecting him whatsoever, won't do something to harm him. Is she prepared to threat dropping you? in basic terms you already know. And if she is afraid to lose you, then act like it does not area you approximately her going to lunch. And remember....you're relationship her, no longer him. If he hooks up together with her or something, you have been relationship her. She's the single that relatively disrepected.
2016-10-15 05:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it slow and be friends at least you may get a friend out of it and not a broken heart.
2006-12-18 20:28:29 · answer #5 · answered by SWEETSTEPH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not ready for something else just play her game and dont get desesperated slowly but surely ladies are like that.
2006-12-18 20:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk with him for 5 minutes and u will know his/her motives. check his background and u will be sure to accept or reject him/her
2006-12-18 20:28:50 · answer #7 · answered by athamprince 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems these days,
that's what friends do.
they have sex,
and that is it.
2006-12-18 20:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋