Help me with the starting sentence in the story i am writing.?

Question

"Welcome to W.A.R...........................................". ______________________________________________

W.A.R. is an acronym for a scientific research facility which studies sentient life forms on other planets to understand why do all civlizations grow, expand and then inevitably decline. The above phrase is the first phrase in my story, a welcoming remark uttered by the manager of the facility to a group of tourists, reporters and students who came for the first open-to-public guided tour of the place. The story is a parody, a satire, so I was hoping you could suggest how could i complete the above starting phrase in a way that is funny and informative of the nature of the place:)
Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Hmmm. Well, in journalism school, I was taught to always spell out the acronym on first reference. I'm not sure how the rest of the story goes, but is it possible that you are hitting your readers over the head just a little bit? Many readers will get it on the second reference.

For ex: "Welcome to West Aggie Research, our little piece of heaven in the battleground of academia. Here at W.A.R., we are devoted to studying the life of civilizations -- how they grow, how they expand, how they decline. And then . . . oh, yes? Is there a question in the back?"

You'd better get the action going by paragraph three, though, or you will have a major info dump and lose readers.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Here's the trick:
The very first sentence and paragraph, albeit a short one, of your story is the lone quote:

["Welcome to W.A.R."]

This is an attention getter; it piques the interest of your reader, "hooking" them to read whats next. Next, start with your second paragraph, wherein you intoduce the sarcasm and satir. heres an example, (and I used first person):

"Welcome to W.A.R."

Looking around and seeing the group, consisting mainly of nerdy teenagers, bored elderlies, and obloxious couples, I seem to be the only one saying to myself: "Yep, we SO just look like the cavalry." The tourist-guide-manager from [insert meaning of W.A.R. here], might need a bit of adrenalin though, since we are getting into the deepest bowels of the famous facility which studies sentient life forms on other planets. The poor chap is so used to this job, the irony has become stale.



......or something of that sort. Still, your intentions and style might be different though. Good luck on that story!!

Answer 3

The link to the crack in the cosmic egg, where the dust seems to never settle.

I AM