What sould i do?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years who i love to bits. I have just found out that he has slept with someone else.

He phoned me saying he cant believe he messed up big time. He loves me, hes sorry and cant accept thats its over, he cant see me with any other guy.

Hes only just realised how much i mean to him because ive told him its over. He said im his best friend as well as his girlfriend and he will never treat me like this again as he needs me.

Ive told him to leave me alone for a bit while i get my head straight. Do you think i should give him another chance knowing how much i love him?

Answer 1

People make mistakes. Sometimes, they make BIG mistakes, and this sounds like one of the latter. That being said, you have a few questions to ask yourself.

For starters, do you trust his sincerity when he tells you that "he can't believe he messed up big time"? If not, then read no further because you have your answer. It's over. If you do trust him, keep reading.

Second, what do you think is the likelihood that he might do this again? Some guys are very wayward, and others are more committed. For the wayward ones, its very difficult for them to settle down, and if he is one of those, he's very likely to do this again. Consider whether you want to take on a relationship with a guy who can't make that kind of commitment. From what you write, it sounds like you're not so interested in that.

The third, and probably most important, question is this: If you do get back together again, and he does this again (because there is always that possibility) what do you plan to do? Before you decide to get back together with this guy, make a firm commitment to yourself on your answer to this question and be prepared for the possibility. I DO NOT encourage harming yourself or others, but some people respond to this type of situation, repeated problems with the same partner, with either suicidal thoughts or thoughts of deep malice. I STRONGLY encourage you to NOT act on those.

As a guy myself, I've seen many of both types of guys, and I like to think of myself as the commited type, though I've never had the opportunity for a serious relationship. Maybe thats because I haven't found the right lady to commit to.

I wish you the best of luck, and let your heart tell you what is best for you.

Answer 2

I don't think you will find it easy to forgive him but in time you might. You are doing the right thing by asking him to give you space. If you decide to give him another chance wait a couple of months until you are sure. You and your boyfriend need to talk this whole thing over in depth before you get back together. You must bear in mind that you will always be thinking that he could do it again so weigh that up carefully. In the meantime go out with your girlfriends and try and have a fun time over Xmas. Good luck.

Answer 3

BLUE- i am not even going to bother reading all the reply's of my fellow postee's, something which i normaly do- suffice it to say that he WILL do this again, once the cheating has started it will not stop, trust me on this one. He has broken a trust between you both, which can never be mended, you are alway's going to be wondering now, aren't you? Also, if he has "only just realised" what you mean to him after 5 years...and it took his cheating to make him realise that...then the relationship on his part was going nowhere anyway, surely? You are better off without this plank m'dear-there are other, more decent faithful guy's out there, you do not need one that sleeps around or disrespects you-you are better than that.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with granting someone with a second chance, if you wan to, but don't let hinm know that just yet. Let him know you mean business and that you need time to adjust to whats happened. Then when your ready tell him (if you want) that you forgive him, but that forgetting is gonna take a long time for you, and that he this is going to be the only chance he will have to rectify whats gone wrong previously. Be prepared in case it should happen again, because if it does, I would strongly suggest that this relationship will not grow to be a faithful on his part. Good luck in your decision and I hope it grows into the loving, faithful relationship you deserve.

Answer 5

people do make mistakes. but not usually at the expense of a true love in their life. having said that we are all human. do what u said. tell him to leave you alone for a bit to get our head straight and look yourself in the mirror and truly ask yourself "can i get past this, will i bring it up in any arguement etc" not one of us is promised a tommorrow, you could be knocked down by a bus etc. so life is VERY short. donot waste it trying to recapture or have something that maybe has already gone. a drunken kiss is one thing, sleeping with someone is another ball game. remember your self respect and dignity donot be a doormat for anyone. you are a strong person and would you have done that to him?????????? you are only treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. i wish you good luck and strength to get through this

Answer 6

i'm in my previous due 30's and that i nevertheless hate tidying my room (properly, my homestead and backyard now). I in simple terms discover it so mundane, boring, and so lose motiviation and do some thing else extra appealing. properly therein lies the trick! i've got got here across if I surely have my ipod on and hear technology debates or Frank Skinner instruct podcasts or the like and that i relish that lots i will rather luckily spend an entire day doing the main boring jobs possible. i in my opinion discover myself finding for chores that choose performed so as that i will hear to extra on my ipod! So, the result's I surely have anice tidy homestead and backyard and that i've got found out lots! So i prefer to propose that: acquire what you like listening to: audio books/track/debates/discussions/different podcasts, and hear that whilst you tidy your room. you would be so engrossed, you would be satisfied to tidy the full homestead and weed the backyard -and you may even get 'day without work for stable behaviour as you're mom would be so inspired.

Answer 7

u must trust ur own heart ...whatever we tell u here might be a bit of help but only for the view of some strangers , at the end u must be the one knowing if u want to give it another chance or not
i wish u all the best !

Answer 8

People do make mistakes, hes only human. If you think it would work and that he is worth it, then give it another go. My advice would be not to take off where you left, instead take things slowly until you regain trust again.
If you are unable to forgive and forget, although hard it would be best to move on.

Answer 9

I would take some time and think about what you want out of life and ask yourself if you can ever trust him again.
If you can't trust him completely then it's useless to be together, without trust you have nothing and things will just get worse between you.

Answer 10

y did e cheat if e loves u? it cud b bcuz e loves u 2 much dat e tryd so hard not 2 screw it up dat e ended up doin it anyway... e seems like e does love u and its hard 2 find a a guy who can b ur bst 4nd 2... set sum ground rules d shock of losing u could ave changed his ways
dnt throw it away u cud regret it i did trust me im still hurting
gud luk listen 2 ur heart nd 4get ur head!!!!