I love my kid but dont like to stay with my wife...?

Question

Hi, I want to saperate from my wife. but have got a kid whome i love and dont her to suffer in life. Please advice what should i do... At times i feel, i should let the kid go with my wife and start a new life of my own, and rollback on all the mistakes that i did by marrying her. But looking at the kid, i feel that i'm being selfish if i do that...

I am so confussed... I'm so unhappy...

Answer 1

Kids from broken family suffer a lot . .....so is for kids with fighting parents. so try to solve your problem by trying to love ur wife, by understanding her viewpoint.

Make ur child feel secure in the relationship. and make her confident about everything around! looking at u two she will be learning a lot of things about her future relations.

Answer 2

First try to restore your marriage. There is a good e-book "Save your marriage". Try the techniques given in that book. Remember all women are too good and wonderful beings. You must not let a problem to break your marriage. I do agree sometimes things won't work and rebuilding the remarriage seems impossible. Since you have a kid, the situation is very complex. You can't just go away from the marriage as the kid needs you and your wife. Otherwise the kid will suffer for its lifetime. If you really care for the kid, you have to work with your wife to resolve the issues and to rebuild the marriage.

All the best. I am always here to help you in the process of rebuilding your marriage. I know how a broken relationship hurts because my marriage is in divorce state now. It is very painful. But I worked for the past 1.5 years to rebuild the relationship. But it didn't work out. Divorce seems to be the best choice for me and my wife. Luckily we didn't had a kid. So, no issues. Your situation is not like mine. So, think, think, think and then decide.

Answer 3

Staying with your wife is not necessarily the best thing for your daughter. You don't say why you want to leave your wife. Consider what would be best for your daughter: full custody for your wife, full custody for you, shared custody. I don't know why you feel you need to "let the kid go and start a new life on my own". That doesn't make sense. Just because you are unhappy in your married life does not mean you can't still be a father to your child. Be careful of your choice, there is an innocent life depending on your decision. I have a neighbor whose son is 10. He lives one week with his mom and one week with his dad and so forth. They live close enough to be able to do this and not interrupt his life. He has a cat at one house and a dog at the other. He just goes back and forth having his toys and clothes at each home. There are a lot of options. Good luck.

Answer 4

The question you have to ask yourself, "Is it healthier for my child to have me in the house and grow up watching a very unhealthy relationship or suffer the short term loss of your and your wifes marriage?" You see, being out of your marriage does not equal being out of your daughters life.
You can start a new part of your life but no matter how unhappy you are with her, your wife will always be a part of your life. I am a father of 4 and I live for my kids. When my wife and I talk about the "scenario" of if we weren't together, the children are never an area of uncertainty. For as long as I live I am their father and I alone am responsible for their quality of life. I would never take my children away from their mother and no matter how inconvenient it might be for me, I am a dad before I could be anything else... an employee, a new boyfriend, a success, a failure, anything. Long and short of it Marriage does not equal Parent. It is possible to be one without the other. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

See breaking up of married life is to be the final resort. If you have that much problem, you can get seperated unofficially for time being. Then time itself cures many problems in our day to day life. Keep a eye on your present family and stay away for some time, give relatives and other elders some time to bring the system on line.
If your partner has some affair with some one else its better that you take the legall steps at once. Other wise your thing is very good that the poor child should not suffer. At the same time either of you should also be bonded by love rather than force full compramise.
Step in to your partners shoe and try to read her thinking and the reasons behind and then take decision.

Answer 6

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. but I wish you could reconsider. Why don't you want to be with your wife? Nothing it's perfect in this world. you aren't either. ...My parents got separated when I was at a very early age. Left me and my mom so we just moved on. But I hated my dad for it. Yeah he visited me often and loves me, but I still have this feeling inside of me that doesn't welcome him even though I act nice as respect. I love more my mom than my dad cuz she was always by my side and she was a good mother soo if your wife was unfaithful or is not doing a good role of a "mom, I understand that. Take your daugther with you if it is the case. But if you and your wife have simply no chemical, I am not saying that your daugther will be like me. She might love both of you equally...but this is my experience. She is going to be unhappy for some period of time..that's natural. Sometimes, if you take something you have to sacrifice another. You can't have both. Think about the consequence of your act. Will you accept them? Can you live with them if the situation for the worst?
good luck

Answer 7

When a person is married, his legs would be locked. When kid is born, mouth is locked. This is an old Indian saying. It is quiet natural the affection we extend to our kids, but we do not in anyway remember how affectionate our parents were. Of-couse, respect your parents and ancestors. Pray them to get your life in the perfect tract. This is entirely because you did not give the deserving respect to your father or mother or both. Look things in a long periodic vision for 50 years or 100 years or more to your own life and make a long questionnaire. You would be able to get the perfect decision.

Answer 8

I can understand how bad u are feeling but to gain some we have to lose some..if u r ready to lose ur life long happines by being in a marriage where ur heart is not into than u gain ur child..if u decide to give up/lose ur child to the mum..than u will slowly gain ur happiness..it depends on ur prioty in life..I knw u love ur child, search u conscience how long can u hang on to ur marriage for ur kid..are u 100% sure u will never break the marriage at the near future?? U can still take care of ur kid if u & ur wife break off the marriage in a cool way, u can always explain the situation u were to ur child in future..as long as u dont negelect ur duty as a father its good. Take some time to think over..alone than decide wat to do..All the Best..

Answer 9

sometimes its better if u let go and move out...it doesnt mean u have to leave ur kid behind..u can still be there for him/her but two unhappy parents in a house makes for a very unhappy child..dont feel guilty that you dont love your wife anymore it happens just do right by your child thats what ur main concern should be and making urself happy again..we all deserve to be happy we get one chance at this life
good luck

Answer 10

try to find out the matter that why you wanted to end this relation. take advice from counselor both you. and you are right it will suffer your child if u seperate. give time to yourself and your wife to think about it again and try to refresh the love between you but if you still unable to be with your wife then move and be close to your daughter. never let her feel that she is not having her father with her.
whatever you will do but always think about your daughter too. you are not selfish , you are a caring father and i respect you for this. may god help you and bless your daughter.
be happy
your friend
::;;;;;;;
Angel