my husband is an alcoholic, I want to leave him...?

Question

I have been married for three years now and I can not live with his addiction. The problem is that my parents believe that in our family no one went through divorce and if I do it I will be excommunicated from my own family, but they are the only one to help me to get out of this situation. What should I do. I'm relly sad right now and my husband is somewhere out drinking. Help me please. Thank you.

Answer 1

You need to get away for awhile and get your emotions in a better place... try to contact your local Al-Anon chapter and talk to someone there, they should be able to help you to understand living with alcoholism, you need to do whatever is best for you, as long as you are just ignoring the problem you are enabling the problem, he might need some tough love to see what he is doing to himself and his marriage

Answer 2

You could try contacting a womans shelter.
If your family would exile you because of a devorce, then I don't have any respect for your family!! But back to the issue here.
I was married to an alcoholic for five years, two of which we
lived apart until I could get enough money to file for devorce.
No one knows what a nightmare it is to live with people like them.
and the torment of 'never knowing' how they will react or what
type of mood they'll be in today.
I never cried so much in my life as I did with my X, he made life hell, and made my life miserable.
YOU ''ARE'' WORTH A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN HIM!!!
So forget about your family, because 'if' they loved you they would be there for you 'devorce or not', thats what family is for..
You have got to think about your own life and happiness, and if
you don't do something about it no one else will..
Do you have a friend you can turn to.
You will do what ever it takes if you really want to get away from him, and if you're smart thats exactly what you should do..

Answer 3

If your not happy in this marriage and don't have kids with this man. I would suggest you get a divorce. Who cares if your the first one in your family? Its not like your the first in history or the last. Its your life, but I also think you should try to help this man with his addiction. Just in case anything happens to him...you know you did your best to save him from this addiction. He is or once was your husband and I'm sure you care about him. Addictions are hard on the people that they love the most, he isn't thinking straight. Take care of yourself first and try to be a good person to others such as your husband. In the end, if you want a divorce its going to happen sooner or later but try to help him first.

Answer 4

For over 50 years, Al-Anon (which includes Alateen for younger members) has been offering hope and help to families and friends of alcoholics. It is estimated that each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people... alcoholism is truly a family disease. No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al-Anon/Alateen fellowship.

Answer 5

Make a separation immediately. Tell your parents they need to help you in this if they want a safe and loving future for their grandchildren and their own daughter. Maybe the separation will give your husband reality check that he needs to quit drinking to deserve a family! Alcoholism could lead to very destructive actions and needs to be remedied by the person with the problem. Good luck.

Answer 6

Stop thinking about divorce for now. Instead think about what is best now for you and your children if you have any. If you are at risk physically or even mentally leave the home. Have a family member if possible explain why you left and what must change if you are to return. Give him at least 6 months to address his drinking, and if no change start the divorce.

Answer 7

Are you sure it's just the drinking? Maybe it's more the lack of attention given to you, while he runs out and drinks. I tell you what though, if you explain how you feel about the drinking and what damage it's doing; if the guy really loves you he'll come home or at least drink at home.

Geez people what ever happened to "TRY" everyone just gives up so easy these days, no wonder divorce is so high, what next leave a person because they have hangnails?

Answer 8

I could supply him one final risk to sober up. I grew up in an alcoholic loved ones and I drink possibly as soon as each and every 3mths and I have one or 2 beverages. I get under the influence of alcohol possibly two times a 12 months if even. His loved ones is not relatively an excuse for him. Yes that used to be natural for him developing up, however surely within the truly global its no longer natural. I hate to mention it although regardless of how generally my dad has hit rock backside and swore he could on no account drink once more he nonetheless has a main issue to at the present time. The longest he stayed sober used to be a 12 months after which it used to be again to the equal factor everywhere. That maybe what you have got to appear ahead to, however who is aware of a few ppl are triumphant at quiting.

Answer 9

Every thing has to happen first time.......if nobody took divorce in your family till today........then you will do it and start the trend. If your family will not help you.....your friends will.......and of-course God is always there.....just take the step and all will be well.
It is you who has to suffer and not your parents.
The only important question is , do you have children..........if not........immediately file a divorce case. if yes then ........try for the last time to make you husband understand that his alcoholic habit is going to ruin not only your life but also future of his children.........if he understands, good for you.......if not........just be sure that you take the custody of your children and not leave them with irresponsible ,good for nothing, unfortunately father of your children..........take them with you......Have trust in God, when there is will, there is always a way............

Answer 10

Get in touch with Alanon. You need to be talking with people who know about this and can give you the correct kind of support. There are people who can relate to you and will share their experience. Your parents are probably great people, but if they don't understnad alcoholism they might make your situation worse. Do what is right for YOU.