Before I go on - this isn't me! I have a friend who asked me this question today because he noticed a pattern in the girls he has dated - every single one of them has had an abusive father or has been emotionally unstable; his mother is not emotionally unstable either, so it's not Freudian. What's the psychology behind this? Any ideas, and is this common? I haven't been able to find anything on it.
2006-12-18 17:45:40 · 9 answers · asked by Craig 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There's a wonderful book on this subject called, "Are You the One for Me?" It talks about how we tend to date the same person over and over. Often, it's either that we want to "fix" one of our own parents or we want to rebel against them.
When I read what you wrote, it occurred to me that he might want to be a hero to these girls.
2006-12-18 18:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many of them are...I would go so far to say that most are, in my experiences. It is one reason why I remind men who are fathers to daughters to be careful of how they behave and how they treat their mothers. By the way, I find the same thing to be true for men. A boyhood friend of mine has an absolute whore for a mother and I swear every woman in his life is the same way. Ditto for other men I know and have met all over the world. They marry women with the same issues as mommy had, even if they don't recognize them. If she was distant so was the wife or girlfriend...
2016-05-23 06:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about his father? That behavior stems from something triggered by his parents. It could be a number of issues, and sometimes it is not obvious, like maybe they seek to help someone in a bad situation, out of charity.
2006-12-18 17:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
emotionally unstable father
2006-12-18 17:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by chi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compasion.
2006-12-18 17:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by PokerChip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be their behavior he finds appealing. Most girls with abusive parents will try harder to please and seek acceptance. He needs to analyze himself as well as the people he dates.
2006-12-18 17:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by saucylatina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably wants to protect those girls, and give them what their fathers couldn't.
2006-12-19 03:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by Joe P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you tend to attract unhealthy relationships when you yourself has not overcome your own situations and problems.
2006-12-18 17:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by hunnysbeckers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, they have similar traits & behaviors. yes, this could definately be connected. guys do usually go for girls that are like their mothers-- or total oposites...
2006-12-18 17:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by christy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋