How would you react if YOUR child was omitted?

Question

Scenario:
Married for 22 years and you have a child from a previous marriage who has never been accepted by the new family (truly neither one of you has) and yet every year you get a 'family' calendar where YOUR child's special day has never been entered? Nor have they been acknowledged on holidays.... and people acted rudely whenever the child (now in their 30's) was present.

Do you respond to the party sending the calendar???
What would you say????

Answer 1

The first thing I would do after viewing the calendar and not seeing anything in it about my child I would call the person or persons who put the calendar together why my child was not included in the calendar, and do they have a problem with him being around. I would also tell them and a polite manner (not to stoop their level of meanness) I thank you for sending me the calendar but if it does not include my child I do not wish to receive anymore in the future, I include my child in my life, and no one can change that.

Answer 2

Offer to send out the 2008 calendar yourself. When they "No, I love doing the calendar", you can lay it on thick and say after all that the family has done and the love they have shown, it would be your honor to do the calendar. Have it include photos of everyone in the family.

Try not to be spiteful and leave out the one that have been rude. It is too bad that everyone cannot accept the past for the past and move on.

If you want to make public scene, you could pass out stickers for everyone to put on your child's special day for 2007, but darkness just begets more darkness.

I am sorry you and your child have gone through this. My prayers go out to you and all of your family.

Answer 3

I would probably propose to take said child and myself away just the two of us (unless said kid has a family of his or her own and then the all of them) to someplace really wonderful and celebrate that family and that very special relationship. Sounds like you both need that and it is long overdue.

Then, I would question the nature of a relationship in which your spouse would do that. I do not even know you and it tears at MY heart.

As to what to say, in open and honest communication (just as you have said here) I would ask, "do you not see or understand how wrong this is and how wrong this has always been?" and "If you were in my shoes, what would you do?" If there is no empathy in your spouse, then that is a relationship I could not stay in.

Blessings of the season to you and yours!

Answer 4

Well, they surely will have to had been extra particular. And I can realise your dissatisfied at having designated participants of your household uninvited. It IS embarrassing and humiliating, in some way. However, although this can be your cousins marriage ceremony, additionally it is the brides marriage ceremony, now not simply his. And everyone knows that it is rather all approximately the Bride, proper? It's rather HER gigantic day. She's the megastar. If she does not desire kids at her gigantic day, then it will have to be revered. Some persons choose it to be an grownup affair, and a few persons desire it to be for all household. Neither is fallacious. And it is as much as the bridal couple to come to a decision, now not the visitors. It's lower than the visitors to opt for any of the main points, it is not their occasion. A visitor's simplest function is to exhibit up and experience and behave themselves. Period. To count on in any other case is overstepping barriers. If you are too dissatisfied via this snafu to wait, via all manner do not. Although, I'm definite the miscommunication wasn't on motive. These matters occur. A marriage ceremony is an big endeavor, as I'm definite you already know, and absolutely that element used to be overpassed. Nobody's superb. But it might be in highly dangerous kind and purpose tough emotions throughout not to tell them you don't seem to be coming. Remember, they're most likely paying in your meals and many others. forward of time and if a number of you do not exhibit up then you're inflicting them extra disorders than simply your absence. And you are going to most likely purpose a rift within the household so they can be tough to fix. Is that what you desire? All in view that the persons who're getting married want to simply have adults reward, and it is their proper to have it that method? And each and every bride needs to have a paranormal, superb day. And she merits that. How do you consider that is going to impact her? Do you rather want to solid that sort of pall over the marriage ceremony and placed that sort of pressure on her? Is that the way you want to welcome her into your household? All in view that she's now not accomplishing her marriage ceremony the best way you consider she will have to? You'll simplest become making yourselves' seem dangerous, petty and small. I'd bear in mind getting over it, despite the fact that you do not agree. It's now not valued at the penalties in case you care approximately your cousin and his meant and household. Blue

Answer 5

I would return the calendar to the sender, saying "you missed Janey, can you get it on there?" and keep doing that. If they tell you they did it on purpose, i.e. "she's not a family member" you can then say you aren't either, and get out while the getting's good. Do you really want to be part of that kind of family? What kind of jerks are they anyway, to do that to a kid, since, obviously she wasn't in her 30s then (or he?).

Answer 6

I would tell them that they must have accidentally left off the child that has been a part of the family for over 20 years.

Answer 7

What *******. It is a child. I wonder what the child has been thinking about this? I would probably confront them. I don't think it is fair to either of you. I would probably fly off the handle at them. Especially if this has been building up inside for years.

Answer 8

Heck yes I would say something. You need to get your problems pout now! They will never know how much this offends you if you let them keep doing it!

Answer 9

It wouldn't have taken me this long. Besides, I wouldn't be with someone that doesn't even have the balls to defend me and my child to their family.

Answer 10

I think you need to express to your spouse your feelings and bring it to the open!