Scenario:
Married for 22 years and you have a child from a previous marriage who has never been accepted by the new family (truly neither one of you has) and yet every year you get a 'family' calendar where YOUR child's special day has never been entered? Nor have they been acknowledged on holidays.... and people acted rudely whenever the child (now in their 30's) was present.
Do you respond to the party sending the calendar???
What would you say????
2006-12-18 17:19:24 · 9 answers · asked by TruthsKeeper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would tell them straight up, that I find it insulting that they dont include my child in the calendar, then they should not bother sending another- that it is rude and hurtful to both of you.
2006-12-18 17:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by Penny P 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Of course I will respond. I am the parent !
22yrs is long enough to make it personal.
So I would be direct and blunt.
Never mind the calendar, Ignorance is not an excuse and even God doesnt suffer fools.
But as a parent there is much I can do to show that I do not give permission for one child to be treated differently to the rest.
Funny how people only try to get away with what they think they can.
2006-12-19 01:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not blame you for feeling hurt because your loved on keeps getting passed by. It sounds like you have raised your child correctly. An idea that might help is to have the 30 year old create their own calendar and mail it to the family. This will help the family remember the important date...without further hurt feelings. In time, I think that the adult will think of a tactful way to handle the situation if their behavior continues.
2006-12-19 01:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by Nut 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
turn the other cheek to ignorance. That would kill them more than what they think they're acheiving from this behavior. In-laws can be a nightmare that messes up a wet dream at times. There is no way you can win this thing for sure without being disrespectful to the significant other, so just stay true to your child, and don't let other people defiance be the cause of a major family rift. They will gang up on you and things relly will get outta hand. PLEASE! Disaster on Wheels! Good Luck!
2006-12-19 01:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ebony da *Dimepiece* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would have 22 years ago made sure these "inlaws" accepted my son if they still gave us/him the cold shoulder i would have cleared them outta my life checked them off my christmas card list. Let them know you think it's rude of them to send stuff that excludes you and your child. You hubby may have to see them but, you sure don't. I have 2 children from a past marriage i would never stand for one second my inlaws ignoring them. It's a tad late now that your boys 30 to deal with this. If it still eats you up all these years later be outspoken tell them look this is how i feel.........honestly after all this time thou now the kid is grown dose it even matter? he don't need a extended family now he should be working on his own household.
2006-12-19 01:35:40 · answer #5 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would definately respond. Simply say please don't include me in your mailing since you won't include me or my child in the calendar. Thank you. Either way you won't win. Everyone will be talking about how rude you are(that's why you should be polite) It still amazes me how families treat outsiders. I had a bf who told me I will always be on the outside. Funny we're not dating anymore but he's still trying to get back with me.
2006-12-19 01:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by uknowme 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, now this is a tough one. If your family still cannot accept your child, then it is their loss. If they dont want to take to the time to give that child a chance and get to know them, then I say to hell with them!! If you are a proud parent and your child knows that, then Honey, you are doing just fine. If you family wants to be all "holier than thou", then well that is really their problem, not yours.
Also, you can have the child ask them why they dont like him/her. Now just be cautious with that, the family might be a little brutal or their third eye might become slighty open. BUT this is a risk you must take upon yourself and mostly your child's well-being.
Good Luck!!!
2006-12-19 01:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Vanes 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow that is rude! Now is a little late to try and repair it or whatever. What do you feel like saying now? What does teh mate say since it is their family? They should be the ones telling the family off.
2006-12-19 01:30:05 · answer #8 · answered by Eve 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah, thats not right. even if they dont like the child or new inlaw, its not right.
no excuse.
2006-12-19 01:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋