I am trying to explain this the best I can. I have family, but they are not really the affectionate kind. With my bf I was very closed off until the last few months I've learn to liked the closeness. I'm not talking sex, I mean like spending time together and just hugging or cuddling or even just talking. But now he's gone. I am not looking to go out there and find any guy. I have other problems along with anxiety and depression that make it hard for me to meet and talk to people. I just want to know if anyone has idea of how I can fill that void and no feel so needy. I do have a cat, but he's not really the most affectionate. But he does like to be pet. My mom will not allow us to keep any other pets. So any other options?
2006-12-18 16:32:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are right it is a problem. I have similar problem, to some degree. The way I deal with it - I realize it is BAD if you depend on someone so much emotionally. You will be much better off if you are able to stand on your own. Otherwise - you might attract some jerk in your life just so that you have the sence of closeness again. You need to learn to be more in touch with yourself, appreciate yourslef and understand yourself. I've decided there will be no guys in my life until I'm fine by myself.
The way I approach it is to do nice little things for myself. Take a bath, take care of your skin. Dress up and look in the mirror. Do the makeup as well. Go on a date with yourself - dress up, take some pocket money with you, buy yourself a nice luxurious dessert at the best pastry place. Take yourself on a boat ride. Go watch a sunset, be with the sun and the wind.
2006-12-18 16:43:35 · answer #1 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't feel the need for physical closeness with another person in order to feel secure within myself. You don't say your age, but since you said, your "mom will not allow us...pets," I take it you still live at home with your parents. I'm wondering why you think physical closeness with someone has anything to do with feeling secure within yourself? Being secure within yourself comes from life experience, the trials and tribulations we all go through, and from knowing yourself which comes from living life, taking the good with the bad, rolling with the punches, being true to yourself and your values and from being a survivor. Try to be the best person you can be and make the most of what you've got. Try to find a hobby or a pasttime that you enjoy and that you are good at. This will be beneficial to your self -esteem. People will come and go in your life. Learn to be as self-reliant as you can, till your own soil. I hope this helped some. Good luck.
2006-12-18 17:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it is to have someone to talk to and feel ok with sharing personal things with them. I know exactly how it feels to be alone. Throught my life I have had a horrible past and I don't know if this is the same for you but I have had a very hard time being close to anyone. I'm not trying to be creepy but I am a very good listener and I think if you are ok with talking to a complete stranger I am here. I am not looking for a relationship either. I honestly think that talking is the only way to be comfortable with... anything. I am a nice person and of course we would only talk through e-mails but I think you have some things you have to let out. You just don't sound too happy and I honestly believe talking would help. :) we couod be pals maybe :)
I understand completely if you don't respond but if you do want to change the way you feel I promise I can help.
blackeye08@hotmail.com
blackeye08@yahoo.com
myspace.com/blackeye08
2006-12-18 16:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's actually the total opposite. You need to feel secure in yourself before you can feel closeness with another person. If you can't feel secure in yourself, how can you feel secure with a person you are supposed to love? It sounds like you need to deal with the anxiety and depression before you need to worry about being in a relationship. That can destroy a relationship if it isn't dealt with.
2006-12-18 23:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God-if your religious; Teddy bear hamsters are amazing and cuddly-just really cuddly. I know you'll fall in low and comfort fast-I do/did. Just be happy with yourself, and if not then get a teddy bear hamster-he's my comfort zone.
2006-12-18 16:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋