Ok - I got a lot of answers the last time...but let me clarify some things:
(1) I am not asking about myself (thanks though)- I am curious how human behavior works bc I am a psych PhD student
(2) Saying that being desperate is "creepy" or "shows you have low self esteem" doesn't explain why - fundamentally, it is a turnoff.
A fundamental theoretical explanation would be something like: being desperate is a turn off because it demonstrates that you have no social network, low social capital, and associations with you would be bad for your mate and potential offspring. *Signs( of desperation are low self esteem, and a sense of creepiness is diagnostic of desperation.
Ok - so that is a sample answer. Anyone else?
2006-12-18 15:34:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I'm not trying to be condescending... I am just looking for a different level of an answer that requires a lot more thought. We all know desperate people are creepy, but WHY is being desperate creepy? I don't have all the answers... so, I am curious what you have to say.
2006-12-18 15:35:42 · update #1
wow these are great... thanks !!
2006-12-18 15:57:47 · update #2
Imediately when someone seems deseperate I think their insecure which means they would act needy and smother me. I don't want to spend the entire duration of our relationship explaining why I am with them or convincing them that I want to be with them etc... Also in my experience people that were needy were selfish not in a way that most would notice right off the bat but they would only be interested in you supporting them forgetting you may need support, or they would constantly want to be with you not thinking that maybe someties you need time to yourself, and when you ask them nicely for that me time they go off the deep end.
2006-12-18 16:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by babeejazzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the contrary, many people like the desperate aspect because it makes them feel superior.
And, it is a turn off for mature people because they are tired of caring for children at a certain age..they want intelligent conversation and that is usually lacking in desperate people.
Mature people want someone on the same level as they are, socially, emotionally, etc. because they know that time is shorter and to not waste it on people that continue to be a victim at that age.
2006-12-18 23:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by rynay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In most topics in economics, increased value equates to more demand for the item than supply.
Being desperate equates to an excess of supply, therefore less valued than a commodity in short supply.
(When we thought we had lots of gasoline it was 79 cents a gallon.... now we think a shortage is about to happen.. so sometimes $3.00 a gallon)
Other issues with being desperate:
*Little fun in the chase, as the outcome is known.
*Fear of having problems getting out of the relationship, 'cause the other person has a scarcity of contacts
Is that what you are looking for?
2006-12-18 23:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Rockies VM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Desperation may be a turnoff because it requires plenty of constant emotional support from another person.
It can tire out the supportive person in time.
2006-12-18 23:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by tranquil 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We naturally love challenges. Someone who is desperate is not a challenge, they are obvious. We are wiser than to take something obvious.
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/fear-of-commitment.html
2006-12-18 23:39:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋