I was with 2 men, and both times I thought we were going to get married. The last man, I was 100%, even 10000% sure he was the one for me, we were meant to be, etc, and I turned out to be TOTALLY wrong cause all of a sudden after 2 yrs when things were great he up and left for some chick at work.
So, how do you REALLY know? I REALLY thought I knew, but I was wrong.
Like most other people, I dont want to be with someone and get married, and have a failed marriage.
2006-12-18 15:24:28 · 20 answers · asked by confusedbrowngirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
look at thei parents...for me as a man, i should have always looked at this evil old woman as what my wife would become. I know it's a generalization, but the genes are there
2006-12-18 15:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Ford Prefect 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no guarantee when it comes to love and marriage. Become well able to take care of yourself and never depend on a man taking care of you and you will stand a better chance. If a marriage fails then a failed marriage is the same as a marriage that ends up in divorce the only difference is that with the divorce you are free! You may get married and stay married for 50-60 years but you will have to be willing to try first and if the marriage should fail just remember that this neither makes you or your loved one wrong or a bad person.
2006-12-18 23:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone ever really knows...
Life has no guarantees. And in the case of "marriage" and marrying right? There are too many avenues you can walk down before finding YOUR way down the RIGHT path.
It's basically taking a "leap of faith."
Also, people marry for different reasons... love, financial stability, arranged marriages, children... etc. etc.
If you are "old fashioned" and marry for love, that is a good indicator that you know the time/ this person is right. But how do you know when you really love someone?
“True love doesn't happen right away; it's an ever-growing process. It develops after you've gone through many ups and downs, when you've suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” - Ricardo Montalban
...so in turn, I think that if you are ready to do all those things, with one person, for, what maybe forever, then maybe you should consider marriage.
Then again, I think marriage is just a piece of paper.
.pEace.
2006-12-19 12:15:11 · answer #3 · answered by ...Tell Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just don't be in a big hurry, funny how some change after you get married, be sure and get to know him,has he got a good personality,is he overly possessive jealous,temper,does he have a kind heart, make up your on list ,then decide if you think it will work, it takes two to make a marriage work one can't do it alone. communication being able to talk it about your problems and working them out without exploding in anger and and walking away; never helps ,think he and you can do that, are you a believer in God is he.if one is one isn't don;t think that would work . good luck hope he;s Mr right,but that is life you won't really know till you try, but if you have any getting along problems now it will continue into the marriage.
2006-12-18 23:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by deedee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DONT! People are married for 14 to 20 years planning retirement and crap and all of a sudden someone has a midlife crisis and their whole world gets rocked. I could have sworn that my husband was my soul mate. After 4 years together I look at him like a stranger. You never know. It's a matter whether you are willing to take that chance or not.
2006-12-18 23:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by cabinfeverjen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a guy, I think we have a bit of an advantage when it comes to knowing for sure. Women get caught up with the idea of love, and also they have to struggle with the commitment issues of men so it's NEVER sure for them. For men, getting a relationship is about as easy as getting sex is for a woman. However, without going into a 1000 word essay in response to your question, I basically know because I didn't know what life was before I met this person, and I simply can't imagine life without them.
2006-12-18 23:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
we can never be absolutely positive, but if we looked into that person's past, if we looked into their past relationships, if we could truly see how they behaved while under stress. but we aren't always going to be able to dig that deep and truly know what the truth is, no one wants a failed marriage,we just have to have faith and hope, and pray alot. even when we are married and think we have a good marriage, they could still leave u for someone else, for any reason they chose to blame it on, so there is never a sure way to be sure of anyone.
2006-12-18 23:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't prevent marriage from failing. This is life. You take your relationship as it goes.
I am currently in a relationship. I know that I want to marry my boyfriend, and he knows for sure that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. We just know it. We love each other and we know each other very well, and we are very committed to each other.
When you are with a right person, you know. But if something goes wrong in the end, I guess you just have to accept it although It hurts when you lose someone who you deeply loved. You have to be unafraid of pain, because this is a natural human experience and feeling. Eventually, we recover from it and find someone who deserves us.
Relationships take work, hard work. Nobody said that people who are in love have it easy. Serious relationships encounter so many difficult obstacles, but real love is when you get through all those obstacles...
You just have to love each other, but also not be afraid of getting hurt.
But like I said you can't prevent something from happening. Life is all about experiences, like someone said.
2006-12-18 23:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes women do not no if the men is going to be the right one.What you could do is make a rule to be with the person for five years then think about marriage.If he really loves you and you him and you will no if you want to grow old together.If you can look at that person and think could this person be the one that looks after me when i am old;and if you can picture this than he is the one.If you can;t picture him helping you when you sick or old then he is not the one.
2006-12-18 23:32:33 · answer #9 · answered by bonnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know either. I've been married once and almost married another five times. Now I have two dogs and a cat and am a lot happier then I was when I had a man in my life.
2006-12-18 23:34:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray, pray and pray again! Take your time. Don't rush into anything. Just take things slowly. If he is the right man, the man that you are going to spend the rest of your life with, you will know it soon enough. Everything will fall into place. In my opinion, a good man will be dedicated to you and only you.
2006-12-18 23:31:25 · answer #11 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋