what should i do?

Question

when i was a kid, i got spanked often. last year, i had annorexia then bulimia. i've never trusted anyone and feel like i can't open up to anyone either. i don't enjoy being around people. i'm very depressed and have been suicidal for about a year. my parents and i argue constantly and they are always comparing me to my sister. i'm extremely shy. i cry about twice a day. i hate my family. i don't open up to my friends. nobody knows the real me. please don't tell me to "get over it" or to "get help" because i obviously know i should. i just wanted to tell somebody and get it off my chest.

thanks!

i'm only 14

Answer 1

Michelle
At 14 years old it is the hardest age to deal with for all of us females. Now that I look back at me when I was 14 I was always afraid of everything, everyone, and how I looked (which was awful) those were the worst days of my life but if you would see me now.... It would make you smile! I hope you can really think about the future because I will tell you what ever you are told now you will laugh at it when your older or maybe just say "they were so wrong about me" as I did. I am now a college graduate in Business, a very beautiful women of 38 and I will e-mail you a picture of me if you would like. By the way I was made fun of by everyone at 14 years old such as ugly, bones, gross, and more but when I see those people today it makes me smile and hold my head up with pride....

Answer 2

Of course you are only 14, we have all been there and you couldn't pay me enough money or happiness to go back for even a day!
I was suicidal at that age and still am sometimes, 4 decades later. You need a pet very badly..if you can't have one, borrow someone's for about 20 minutes a day. You just need to hang in there for about 3 more years, and then everything changes perspective.

Sweet Dreams Sunshine.

Answer 3

It is possible that your parents are merely incompetent regarding your emotional needs, rather than malicious or unconcerned.

Several years ago my mother in law committed suicide. She lived in another city so my wife and I had no idea how bad things were for her. We only saw her a few times a year, so it was easy for her to hide the truth of her misery from us.

If she had only told us, we would have had her live with us in a heartbeat and be away from her miserable husband and the poisonous environment there.

Her grandchildren never got a chance to meet her.

it is good that you know that you need to "get help". Now you have to act on this knowledge.

And I understand that you can not simply "get over it".

But the only way out of your depression is to take steps to change you living conditions.

You obviously need third party to help you as your parents clearly do not understand that their daughter has been suicidal for a year.

Most major cities have teen help phone numbers, suicide prevention hotlines, planned parenthood, etc.

google those headings along with the name of your town and you can talk to a real person who may be able to help you. If you can, talk to your doctor about the possibility of clinical depression. Depression is not a mood, it is a chemical imbalance in your brain that can be largely treated either with diet or if necessary, medication.

Hopefully with a bit of luck your family can be made to see the severity of your situation without drastic consequences, but if not, you still need to learn how to take care of yourself

I sincerely hope things work out for you, I would hope that if one of my girls had a similar problem, someone would care enough to help them too.

Answer 4

umm, u sound kind of like the old me. Not that long ago actually, maybe 1 or 2 years ago, I was under depression. I always seem to get shouted at by my mum, got into fights with people, and well, I guess either my personality became more disagreeable, or the world became more disagreeable. I felt really depressed because I had nobody to talk to. Thing is, I dunt talk about my personal feelings and likes and dislikes with my mum... because, well she's not the type that would understand anything. I can't tell my "so called friends" because I dunt trust them and I could tell that if everybody suddenly started hating me, they wuld just leave me one by one. I had no one to talk to, and I got really anxious and depressed. I wanted to get it all off my mind but had no one to tell it off to (i didnt knoe yahoo answers existed) and it just started to pile and pile up to the point where I wanted to kill myself. But I spilt it out to my ex-bestfriend who I found was more trustable than my current best friend. She moved away, and even now, I'm keeping in contact with her, telling her how I feel when Im depressed. She was going through the same feelings as me, so I found that she understood me, and I got less depressed as I found somebody else. When I was in my depression state, I refused to cry because I'm not the type that cries often, instead I bottled it all up inside making me even more depressed. I was on the verge of suicide, and I really was planning to (i thought of all sorts of scenes where I wuld stab myself with a knife infront of my parents, etc.). I felt like nobody knew the real me (just like u). Well, now, I'm still bottling it up inside, but now, I'm going to be strong. I wunt kill myself until im finished with life, and I'll make do with everything I have. There are some times when I wish that I had somebody right beside me that would understand the real me though, kk.

Answer 5

You need to get yourself a notebook (any color!) and write down your thoughts. Trust me, it helps. Whenever I'm in a pissy mood, I pull out my book and set the pages on fire with my thoughts. Hide it so your family can't find it and read about it too. Please don't kill yourself, that's a waste of a wonderful person; you!

Answer 6

I hope you feel better! This probably isn't the most sympathetic arena, but as long as it helps you, it works for me! Thanks for the points!