My wife threatened to leave me and take my son. She has no job and no reason for leaving. What should I do?

Question

My wife threatened to leave me two months ago.Things have not been right since. We have been married 3 years and been together for 9 years. I am so in love with her.We have a two year old that I love very much. I couldn't live without him at home every night when I get off work.I have broken down in tears many times telling her I could not live without them in my life and all I get is "You'll be ok." She is a stay at home mom so therefore has no income.I work 60 hours a week and spend all my time when I get home with her and him.I could understand her leaving if I was cheating or leaving her to go out with friends but I do none of that. I take her out shopping every weekend and spend all my time with her and my son. She says she's just not happy but has never complained until she threatened to leave me. I want the best for her and my son. Is there something I am missing here or am I doing what a husband/Dad is suppose to do.

Answer 1

I imagine it must be frustrating to go through what you are going through. At some level, your wife's needs are not being met emotionally. I know in this time and age every dime counts but perhaps in your case all those hours away is not a good thing. While you are at work being productive, your wife may be feeling lonely not only when it comes to missing your attention but also when regarding personal goals and her need to make a mark on Earth as you have with your job. Having quality adult conversation means a lot. She may be in a routine that is wearing her down. Validate her feelings. Hopefully she will validate yours as well. Find some new or bring back some old interests back into your relationship. A weekend relationship isn't good in most cases. Pace yourself out for both of your sakes especially your son. If you are working 60hrs a week, are you rested enough to raise your son during the week or so tired that your wife does most of it? I don't know your situation but when you get off work you should share the work. Remember she worked all day watching your son and may need a break too. I wish you the best and pray that you don't go through what I did... hard starting over... avoid it if possible!

good luck!

Answer 2

Rough one. R U sure there is nobody else visiting your nest? Could be cabin fever on her part? Is she a control freak? Does she want the financial support but wanting U gone? Has she any outside interests or just U, your Son and home? Boredom? U take her out in the weekends, that is good of U, does she stay home the rest of the time? Maybe that's the prob. She's trapped at home and see's U as the jailer. The possibilities are endless. One other p[oint to remember, all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy. When was the last time U brought her flowes or took her out for a meal, movies or whatever? The bottom line is, ask her straight out what is the problem, maybe U will get a straight answer.

Answer 3

Why is your wife a stay at home Mom? Could it be that she is feeling inadequate or maybe just plain bored? I know it is better for your son to be at home versus day care not to mention the cost, but she might need an outlet such as a part time job. Sometimes she probably feels left out. A two year old can only communicate with her to a degree. Does she have any friends? It sounds like to me she is terribly lonely and is suffering from self esteem problems. You say you take her shopping on the weekend. I know that I would go stir crazy if that is the only time I got out. I hope that you are not one of those controlling men that want their women to be home at their beck and call. Can she drive? Does she have a car? She really needs to be out in the world and socialize with someone other than a two year old. Think about it, how would you like to stay at home 24-7 with a small child. Good luck

Answer 4

I'm sorry, but the bottom line is, you can't make someone happy. For some reason she isn't anymore, the best thing to do is to let her go. Sorry again, but most of the time a judge will never take a child from the mom. You could get joint custody. As far as what you are doing, sounds like you are doing the right things, but sometimes that doesn't matter. The unhappiness lies inside of your wife. You want her to be with you because she wants to be, not because you make her. If you really love her so much, then let her go. You had rather see her happy elsewhere than with you and her be unhappy. Love her enough to let her go. You said she is a homemaker, I'm sure she has a plan to be able to support herself, You will have to pay child support joint custody or not in most states. I'm sorry your sad, and sounds like you really love her. Maybe a seperation will help things rather you believe that or not. Sometimes that time apart can make a difference. Change is hard, but I think you have no choice, you can't keep someone under their will. Not fair to you or to her. Just love your little boy and let him know you still love her and him, by treating her nice. I promise this. If you treat her bad because this is her decision, she'll get away from you and won't be back ever. Good luck and once again i'm sorry.

Answer 5

Yeah, there is definitely something wrong. I wouldn't feel guilty. What you said was dead-on. She mellowed out because she was shocked you actually called her on her behavior and the depths it has brought your marriage to. If you had any hope for your marriage I would have encouraged you to do more of that. Don't just disappear, leave her a letter or something so it will be obvious you are not missing. Make it very clear why. You have more than enough reason to leave in my mind. Physical abuse is never called for. And freaking eye contact isn't flirting. What is the point of even going to a party if you don't meet people. Tell your family she's beaten you for years. They should have already known this by now. It's not something you should keep secret. They'll still disown you, I guess, but maybe they'll understand. Frankly she should be doing time for battery! I wouldn't stick around to get the degree. That's just using her, even though she richly deserves it. Get out of there while you still have your sanity and your life. I can't believe people are saying you should stay. As for alternative suggestions ... if you do love her, and you enjoy hanging with psychos, you could try an ultimatum. If she ever hits you again or breaks sh*t, or even just looks at you funny, you're history, etc. But you have to mean it and you ought to be ready to act on it. Honestly I think you should just leave. And you will want to get the divorce ball rolling. Get it done proper if you ever want to be with another woman. I don't think it's best for the child to grow up in an abusive household where he sees Mom beating up Dad all the time. If you want to stay in touch, you can write him letters/visit/or whatever you can stomach. If she won't let you stay in contact, that's her decision but it's not on your conscience. It is no reason for you to risk your life. If she ever touches him you can call CPS on her. Good luck. P.S. your wife is was already stretching it pretty thin even before this godly-speaking, she had a child outside of wedlock forcryingoutloud.

Answer 6

ah hah! i have experience in this situation. my boyfriend has custody of his son. why? partially because his ex-wife (when they were married) left him and took the kid with her. she cannot take that child away from you. it is called child abduction. if she does take your child...you call the police and report her. my bf did this. and being a divorced woman with three children, let me tell you something...it is nothing that you are doing wrong. you sound like a very involved, caring husband. i was married to a guy who blamed everything that was wrong on me...i dug deep deep into my soul and could not find anything that i did to make him act the way he did towards me. now we are divorced and he apologizes over and over about the way he treated me. it might be her. hmm hope your situation gets better. take care. :)

Answer 7

A person does not plan to divorce and leave a marriage unless they already have something lined up. She has plans for after she leaves you and it does not involve her getting a job. Check out the phone records. I bet she has found someone else.

Answer 8

Tell her that you want to try a marriage counselor first and if it doesn't work then you will let her go.

No reason to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. You will be wasting both your time and you will be hurting instead of healing and moving on.

Having a son grow up watching his parents fight or have no love will do more harm than good! Its better to divorce than subject your son to years of watching both parents in a dead relationship. It will mess him up trust me!

Answer 9

WOW I am so sorry to hear...I would talk to her some more and ask if she wants to get some counseling. If she does leave you life does go on...you will get to see your son and no one can take that away from you...you sound like a great guy and wish you well_

Answer 10

there must be a reason people dont leave for no reason . suggest counseling to her . or maybe you are missing something. you have to talk to find out it maybe she just is not happy then all you gan do is try to make her happy before its too late

My thoughts and Prayers are with you

Good Luck

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