I'm 30/female. When I was younger, say, in high school, I had a ton of friends. I was obnoxious, and a bit ignorant. But... I had a ton of friends. I've matured and grown so much in the past 15 years it is unreal. I'm a much more enlightened person, educated, well read, and my interests have grown so much. I'm a decent person with healthy boundaries. I don't suffer from any major personality disorders. Ironically, I know now what it means to be a good friend. Back then, I had no clue, yet I had so many people to hang out with. Now, I have only 2 friends in the world and neither of them live near me. I have zero social life. I have not gone out to eat or to the movies in almost 2 years. I am physicaly fit and attractive. I cannot figure this out. I do not smell either - believe it or not I actually considered this. I just cannot figure this out. I've made several friends over the last several years but for some reason or another the friendships fade away. Any insights?
Thank
2006-12-18 14:47:04 · 5 answers · asked by Hermione G 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Someone once quoted that if you're lucky, you'll have two or three good friends in a lifetime.
You had all those friends back in the days because you were everything to influence or manipulate them to be your friends. You can be popular and everyone will line up to be your friends, just so they can get a rub of your popularity and not be cast out.
As we age, I suppose we define the term friendship more meaningfully, and whether it's subconscious or not, we tend to want to find a good friend of a lifetime, while others... well, just acquaintances we greet to.
A friendship compounds a lot of ingredients: trust, participation, commitment, loyalty, empathy, understanding, patience. So I guess it's very hard to be involved in a long-lasting friendship.
=] Happy holidays.
2006-12-18 19:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by Noel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am close to your age and have noticed the same thing. When people are in high school, other than their studies, the only thing they have to focus on is their social life. As we get older and mature, we begin to realize that we have other priorities. Our husbands, children, jobs, household to take care of, etc. If you stop and think about the fact that everyone has these things to worry about it somewhat makes sense why it is hard to maintain close friendships as adults. Of course, that doesn't mean that the friendships shown in movies don't make me long for that kind of closeness with other women! Hope maybe this helps a little, even though it won't make up for the fact that as grown women we are destined to not have really close friends.
2006-12-18 23:41:39 · answer #2 · answered by lilcountrygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try just being slap-happy and goofy. People are attracted to fun and a pinch of mental retardation (when you put me & my friends in the same room with a bouncy ball and a fly-swatter....oh the fun that can be had LOL)
2006-12-18 23:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by Eris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change, the friends you have that were the close to you might have stayed being friend with you
2006-12-18 22:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by soccermexicanz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friend ships gett harder when you don't see that person every day like you did in high school .
2006-12-18 22:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by anisah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋