My boyfriend has gain 40 lbs. since we have been together and we have only been together for 7 months. I have gain about 15 lbs. but he sometimes call me fat or "thick" and say that he likes thinner females, but when we are out he stares at females 50 lbs. or more than me. I am starting to resent him for it and do not know if I am going to stay with him longer. He laughs in a way that torments my emotions but I never tell him anything bad about his weight all I say is he is sexy. I need some advice on what to do and I need some opinions on why he stares at people older and fatter than me. He is 45 years old and I am 31. I dated him because I thought they got better with age.
2006-12-18 14:23:42 · 14 answers · asked by starsmoonis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes, they do get better with age, but they first have to start out as good, then get better, this guy isn't even good so why are you still with him?
do you really need this kind of life
2006-12-18 14:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by zether 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is emotionally abusing you. It's an attempt to put you in a situation where you feel like you don't deserve any better, and therefore he will have more control. It has nothing to do with anyone being more attractive, or a different age, or your looks in any way.
Put a stop to it now. Stand up for yourself. Don't play the game-if you tell him he's sexy even though he's gained weight after he criticizes you for the same thing, that's exactly what he wants. If he doesn't stop, leave him. You deserve better. If he won't give you better, someone else will. We weren't put on this earth to be unhappy, or to be anyone's punching bag, or a toy to manipulate.
2006-12-18 22:33:46 · answer #2 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who can say what, exactly, his problem is? Certainly not I. What I DO know is that you are allowing his problem to be your problem. Don't be unkind to yourself, sweetie. Why would you even consider staying with a man who "torments your emotions"? Rather than asking why he behaves the grossly inappropriate way he does, perhaps you should focus on why you are investing of yourself so fully in such a destructive relationship. Don't second guess yourself or rationalize/excuse his cruel and disrespectful behavior. You are not demanding respect. My advice is to break off this relationship and stay out of relationship with men until you can develop the type of self-esteem that will lead you into a safe and loving partnership. I'm not intending to be judgmental of you in any way. I speak from a place of experience and concern for a fellow woman.
2006-12-18 22:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by DneezGrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may only be teasing you but even so he is being very insensitive. Perhaps he says that to you to boost up his own ego. He does not sound like a very nice, caring boyfriend at all and l would tell him so. I don't know about getting better with age. There are some men that just never grow up and maybe you have found one of them. Don't tell him that he is sexy anymore and maybe he will stop his nonsence but if not perhaps you should think about finding yourself a more considerate boyfriend.Good luck and Merry Xmas
2006-12-18 22:33:25 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the ones that get better with age are already married. The ones that get worse with age are either divorce or still single.
He is a waste of your time. He is rude and uncaring. Remember that they get worse after marriage. Before marriage they are on their best behavior.
2006-12-18 22:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new one. everyone gains weight, so you have put on a little on, make yourself happy. If he isn't happy with you the leave find someone who loves/like you for who you are fat or skinny
2006-12-18 22:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by odd622 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eww what a creep, the problem isn't your weight, its your dead weight of a boyfriend. Don't let him put you down, find someone new that loves you for who you are and doesn't say things to put you down.
Dump the scum back ;-).
2006-12-18 22:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by bluechick 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that is alot of weight to gain in such a short time. both of you should see a doctor to see if there is something wrong
good luck
: )
2006-12-18 22:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by cranky_gut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems that it's O.K. for him to chunk out, but you better keep your figure!!
Really, is this what you want for the rest of your life? It's disrespectful that he calls you names, not to mention immature.
2006-12-18 22:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that u should be open about how u feel obout his remarks and then ask him if he is comfortable with the way u look.
2006-12-18 22:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by spicywannaknow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋