14 year old is repeating the 8th grade and is failing 3 subjects the 2nd time around. He just doesn't care. Doesn't do his homework. His Mom does not follow through with things well (he lives with her). He is not getting his Xbox 360 for Xmas because of this and ofcourse he is grounded. His games are very important to him so the Xbox thing is a big deal to him. Soccer is the other thing that is important to him and he is scheduled to play indoor soccer in January. I think he shouldn't be allowed to play soccer this January unless his grades are good. I plan on asking his teachers for a status report prior to Soccer. I think soccer is a privlege and he needs to perform in school before he can play.
2006-12-18 13:54:56 · 24 answers · asked by benjamin p 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Sports is an extracurricular activity.
Extra curricular.
Once he performs satisfactorily on his regular CURRICULAR activities, then he can see about the extracurricular ones.
2006-12-18 13:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well thats why america is obese... sports being pulled cuz your kid doesnt care... he's not gonna care any more if you pull the sports...
Heres a lil story:
My friend Shane, he didnt care about school at all... He's my age and we're all in grade 11 now... He was in grade 8 till last year when he dropped out... He just kept failing cuz he was too busy not caring... He's been working for a year now, and he's matured a lot... Next year he's going back to school and starting in grade 11 rather than 8 through a special program for drop-outs...
Maybe your son just needs a lil time to realize he needs school, a few years in the working world might do him some good...
Heh if all else fails, get him a tutor for the subjects he's failing twice a week for each subject... an hour each session, make sure he gets tutored on every day except sunday (he'll lose his social life cuz he's has to be tutored) and if he doesnt work hard with his tutors take away privaledges like crazy...
2006-12-18 15:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for stepping up to the plate and being a real parent. You seem to be a very intelligent and caring man and you are to be commended. You're absolutely right. Sports are a privilege and should be the first thing that goes. I'm surprised his school allows anyone with failing grades to play extracuricular activities.
I would ask if you've talked to him. Not yelled, not threatened, but talked to find out if something is going on. He may need to be seen by a dr for depression, or ADD or something he cannot put into words. He may have trouble grasping the information and be ashamed to tell you. Perhaps there is a bullying issue that he's embarrassed about. Perhaps your (or your ex's) expectations are so high, he feels like he'll never measure up and can't cope with the pressure.
Christmas is a special time, and I would probably give it to him the 360 with some major restrictions. Limited time to use it, only after homework is done, and if his grades aren't up by the next reportcard, it goes until they do come up. I seriously suspect that there is something more at it than it appears and while you're taking the first steps, you need to dig to find out if there is a real problem here. Set up an appointment with his teachers. My daughter's problems started in 7th grade and it was only after we found out she was cutting herself that we realized it was more than we were seeing at face value. Turned out she was diagnosed with severe depression and ADD. Two prescriptions and some ongoing therapy later, her grades are up. Good luck to you.
2006-12-18 14:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by Allison S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough love, don't let him play.
sit him down and explain to him (like an adult) what is expected of him, that playing sports is a reward/privilage not a necessity.
Give him the ground rules, grades up or no play, maybe reward for really trying, you need to figure out your own rules and conditions of them.
But if you do take away the soccer don't cave, hold your ground
your child may allready see you as a pushover
its a shame kids now a days don't have any consquences levyed upon them. I wouldn't be doing anything until my grades where up to par, plus the fear of a @$$ whooping I would have recieved (a spanking for all you PC babies out there)
2006-12-18 14:09:03 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds too familiar. I've been in the same boat. Get him to a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, ASAP! Have him tested for ADD, ADHD, & bipolar. My son (now 20) was doing exactly the same things yours is. We tried grounding, taking away privilages, etc. No luck & things got ugly, really UGLY. He was finally tested by a real pro after begging school counselors and psychologists for help for 10 years! They all told us that ADD, ADHD, & bipolar were over diagnosed. Well, guess what? My son was diagnosed with ADHD & bipolar. He's now on meds and is an entirely different human being. Very upbeat, responsible, caring.
Good luck!
2006-12-19 00:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by Renee C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes bad behavior is not acceptable. He needs stability and structure. If he is allowed to play sports and not work harder on his school work that is sending him a message that school is a joke. If he loves sports then make sports a goal for him and make school work his way of meeting that goal. Same with the XBox, reward good behavior and good grades with privileges and punish him for poor grades and give him choices on which he will get to do for good grades. I hope this makes sense. Merry Christmas. God Bless.
2006-12-18 14:06:36 · answer #6 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I ever had a B on my report card I wasn't allowed to do anything until I got it raised back up to an A. I hated her at that time for not letting me do anything like play sports but now I am glad she did this for me. Sports only gets you so far but an education can take you millions of places!
2006-12-18 13:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by morgan_loves_polina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first check for a problem. If he has a learning disability that nonbody has realized, thats punishing him for doing bad because he has a problem that can prevent him from doing well. Maby just sit him down and spend time actually seeing what he does not understand, helping is usually the best thing, most kids do better when their parents dont just expect them to produce A's like robots, kind of like my parents, but when the parents get involved and help them learn, help them study, make sure they understand the homework.
Plus, sports is his only motivation, he's just gonna get obese otherwise if you pull the sports plug.
2006-12-18 16:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely! Indoor soccer and video games are not going to get him a job or get him into college. He needs an education more than he needs to play soccer or video games.
2006-12-18 13:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are absolutely right! Playing sports and even games is a privilege. School work comes FIRST!
Just talk to him and let him know how you feel about him succeeding in life. Tell him that he will get much farther in life if he completes school & get his high school diploma!
Taking away those things are good but don't forget to tell him why these things are happening and why he needs to complete his school work!
:-)
2006-12-18 14:18:09 · answer #10 · answered by tawannajones2217@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes sports should be pulled for bad grades. He maybe a gifted athlete but sports will only take him so far if he went pro. He needs a good edu. to fall back on. Also if he went pro. if he doesn't have a good edu. how will he know if someone is trying to cheat him on a contract.A good edu. is the key to a good sports player.
2006-12-18 14:02:25 · answer #11 · answered by notskeerd1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋