Do we choose to be offended?

Question

If you really think about it, is it a choice?

Answer 1

I don't believe anyone would choose to be offended. A person is offended when a sensitive area within their character is or seems to be under attack. They must react in a defensive mode in order to protect themselves from further harm. It is a reaction not a choice. Most people who are offended easily are protecting or hiding something...not living a transparent life. A person living a transparent life is not easily offended - if at all...they have nothing to protect or hide. No one wants to experience that terrible feeling of being offended...it is not a choice.

Answer 2

Oh my... I've been thinking about this question lately too. When I actually realize that it seems so natural to say that it's not out choice and that we're only human and have no control over how others make us feel I realize that I'm wrong. Of course we have a choice.

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."
"Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."
-Elder David A. Bednar

There is also a sight that that quote is from, http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-646-32,00.html
If you can read between the lines you can see that we all are truly independent people and you can be in control of YOUR feelings only. You can't control others without their consent (conscious or sub conscious) just as they can't control you.

Answer 3

We choose to be offended. Every different culture has different things condidered offensive. You are taught what is offensive and what is not. sometimes we choose conciously, sometimes uncounsiously, for it is what was chosen for you, and what we got used to being offended by. Sometimes a thing is ment to be offensive, and that fact triggers chemicals in your body that tell you that you are offended. But those chemicals are there because of the brain signals that YOU created. So ultimatly, being offended is a choice. And when we choose to be offended, we react in that way, and after a while it is simply a cause and reaction. Though it is in our power to re-pattern the cause and reaction.

Answer 4

Absolutely is a choice. If someone would call you a name in a foreign language, you are would not be offended until someone translates it to you. When it is translated, it is your choice to take it to heart and be offended or not.
To one person, being called a "butternut" might be a great insult. To another, it may be a term of endearment. To others, just a word they dont know the meaning of.
I have found that wordwise, insults are nothing more than audible sounds created by someone else for themselves and others to hear. Nothing more or less than bird singing or metal pipes banging. It is the choice of whether to be annoyed or offended by the sounds that are created.

Answer 5

I don't think it's really a choice in most individuals. Like so many things, most of us respond in a predetermined way based on our beliefs. If we believe we are above the offender and being offended, then it is nearly impossible to be offended. If, however, we are like most people and believe other people's opinions of us are important, then certainly we can be offended. But to answer your question, no, I don't think it's a choice, per se. It's conditioning.

Answer 6

It is most definitely a choice. You can either choose to laugh it off or hold smoldering resentment forever. It's all about your attitude and how you handle confrontation. Some of the more articulate people will choose their battles carefully while others choose to take offense to just about everything. It also depends on the topic. I notice that I take offense to subjects I'm more passionate about, such as religion, dave, my sketchbook, my morals... and of course, my momma ;)

Answer 7

It has been said that every emotional reaction we have includes a conscious choice. I disagree.

One can make a choice to resist the most base emotional inclinations, yes. But to avoid or deny a feeling is not to eliminate that feeling from the human experience. Fear, for instance, can be overcome by way of courage; jealousy by compersion; anxiety by conviction- but the nobility of these virtues lies not in our ability to fundamentally change the human emotional experience, but to rise above it.

Perhaps it would be best to say this: sometimes we are offended by the words or deeds of another, but it is our _choice_ to overcome that feeling and act without malice, or to allow it to become a subject for meditation and act as offended persons are expected to act.

Answer 8

Of course it's a choice. You decide on what bothers you. People who chose to be offended easily are the ones that have real issues within themselves. They can't deal. Therefore they chose to be offended by things that wouldn't bother most people. That way they feel righteous to be able to bltch about it. They wil do almost anything to feel righteous. It's a sad but true fact of life.

Answer 9

i don't think it is. if someone calls you a name, it can strike pretty deep. however sometimes people might actually choose to be offended because they seek neutering from others who might try and comfort someone who has been offended. if someone called me fat, i would definitely be offended not by choice, but because that may be something that has been a problem. i don't think it's a choice, i think it's human nature.

Answer 10

I don't think it is a choice; there are factors like your state of mind, the delivery, your upbringing, etc. Being offended is an unconscious act.