We are married and we have a son.We were saying some really mean things to each other like divorce and he was saying its over and he was threatening to take my son and through all that I ended up kissing my ex.Im not making excuses but my ex was saying all this stuff and thats why I kissed him.My husband was in Hawaii jobless at the time while I was at my mom's home working.I dont know why I did it.My ex was trying so hard to win me back and I kissed him.He did want sex but I said No.I dont know why I said no to sex but ended up kissing.My man says he forgives me but I dont beleive him because he brought it up again recently.
2006-12-18 12:22:16 · 16 answers · asked by Kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You people act like I was F***ing his best friend.Im trying to get answers to help me fix things not feel like ****.You people put yourself in someone else's shoes for once.I was 8 months pregnant and left in our hometown to work and pay off our hospital bills. I was already depressed and I was finally getting some kind of kindess from my ex when it should have been my husband doing that.
2006-12-18 12:37:20 · update #1
Offer to do sexual favors any time he wants.
2006-12-18 12:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately these things do happen. You just have to make sure he knows everything and never lie about anything, no matter how small or unrelated, otherwise he may think he doesnt know the full story about the kiss.
As someone else said, time is the only thing that can bring back his trust. My man kissed his ex 4 years ago when we were having problems and I know how your man must be feeling. But I do trust him now and we have a good relationship. I brought it up a few times after I had forgiven him, but that is simply because it hurts. Betrayal is a hard thing to get over but he will if you put the effort in.
Don't think this is the end, see it as a test on your relationship, you two can work through this stupid mistake. Don't be over the top in trying to compensate for what you've done, it has obviously woken you up to the fact you really love your husband and in a way that's a good thing. See it as a new start, keep communication open because it helps to get all your thinking and feeling out, both of you. And give it time. You'll be ok. x
2006-12-18 12:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know why you did it. Trouble is, you obviously don't. It's not about the kissing of the ex. It has to do with all the reasons you both said all those mean things to each other and threatened divorce. It has to do with everything that led up to that day you went and kissed your ex. Kissing the ex is not the problem. The problem is how you are going to fix your marriage? Get into counselling. Fast. If you both work at it you may be able to salvage your already damaged relationship.
2006-12-18 12:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear - Trust , --- First, the saying : An- Ex- is- a- Ex ,For a Reason -!! popped in my mind !! Chill a little - Your question - goes in one direction - to another ? It sound's to me there is more -than just -a-kiss -- Even though he said,he forgives you -- Looks like you'll have to prove - he can trust you ?? -- Think about it -- and then ask -- What is this really all about ?? - Pattijo
2006-12-18 13:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by pattijohughes 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was just a kiss and you remained true to him aftarwards and that says something, What makes him think he can take your son? He doesn't even have a job? Do you really want to save things?
2006-12-18 12:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by Doc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Earning trust takes time. Be where you say you'll be, never hang out with your ex ever again. You are a married woman and have a child. Quit thinking of yourself.
2006-12-18 12:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
How would you feel if he kissed his ex? You destroyed the trust he had for you, and he probably never will get it back for you, and yes he will always throw the kiss in your face
2006-12-18 12:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to deal with it, but to be honest he will never forget because it was there and its like trying to make the pink elephant in the room go away it doesn't happen, unless he is the secure type then he will not be bring it up again in your face all the time so if he keeps bringing it up trust me, its a good possibility that he himself is cheating cause that is usually the way it happens
2006-12-18 12:25:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I quote Dr. Phil,"People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing." So you will need to be an open book. Be available to him whenever he wants you to be available. Be careful though, I tried to win my man's trust back (I did much worse than you) and it all backfired really bad. He screwed me but good. He was one of those types that said he forgave but really all he wanted to do was get even. He did alot more than get even, he almost ruined my life. Be careful.
2006-12-18 12:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want him to trust you again....you must live an open book sort of life....answer all his question as nicely as possible ...say things to reassure your love for him...things like..."im so glad we're together" , "I don't know what I was thinking" ,"I don't know if you will ever know how much I regret hurting you" ,.....put some real thought and feeling behind your words.....he'll come around...just give him time and always show him love.
2006-12-18 12:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by Pinkie_&_the_Brain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to show him that you wont ever do it again. it will take a whole lot of time to win over his trust but if you be good enough maybe he will see it for himself
2006-12-18 12:29:32 · answer #11 · answered by healedwounds31490 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋