I have an aversion to contact, not really weird creepy or anything I just get a little uncomfortable when anybody hugs me, etc. The weirdest part however is that I really want affection because I never really get it. People are very nice to me but I really long for affection? Is this a phobia? I'd love to be rid of it. All ideas appreciated!
2006-12-18 12:22:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sounds like one of two things:
1. You were abused as a child- possibly sexually- and whether or not you remember, it has given you an aversion to contact.
2. You are self conscious and think of all the bad things that might happen: you may have bad breath, you may hug weird, or whatever.
I would suggest you find the true, honest to God reason why you have this aversion. One way to get over this specific problem would be to force yourself to give people hugs until you feel more comfortable. Otherwise, it sounds like you may need to talk to a therapist to get over what is really the problem.
One thing to consider (this may sound weird and possibly offensive) are you trying to punish yourself for some reason by not allowing yourself affection. You may be using the "uncomfortable" excuse as a way to punish yourself because you don't feel worthy of affection.
2006-12-18 12:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Erin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a phobia unless you are truly afraid of contact and go to extremes to avoid it- in other words, as long as it isn't getting in the way of your day to day life, you don't have to worry.
I would suggest slowly desensitizing yourself to your discomfort with contact. Maybe tomorrow start with patting a good friend on the back when they say something you appreciate. Slowly work yourself up to small affectionate gestures, then hugs, then, well...I won't go there. :)
The most important part is that you feel comfortable and genuine about your interactions, so don't rehearse a gesture; it will not feel right. Just do what's natural and be yourself.
Good luck!
2006-12-18 12:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by stella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from uncooked/undercooked egg and meat dishes. Tap water may also be a problem. Eat only foods that have been fully cooked or cured (salami, etc.). Drink liquids out of cans or bottles and peel all fruits. Be careful of raw vegetables, especially when fertilized with animal manure. You should be ok with acidic foods such as tomato sauces, along with pasta, breads, sweets and processed foods. Although some countries do not have the sanitation we do in the U.S., anything packaged/processed in the stores should be safe. In summary, if you need to focus on the most probable source of possible sickness, stay away from the tap water.
2016-03-28 23:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have boundary "issues". One way to overcome it is become a hugger and not a hugee. Was there some lack in socialization in your past? Do you have an aversion to germs? This forum is not the ideal place, but that was my 2 cents worth.
2006-12-18 12:32:35 · answer #4 · answered by J W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think its a phobia. just like u said i think u are longing for affection from others but are not sure how to receive it and give it back. for example, i have a problem accepting compliments. i think its because i have thought so negatively of myself for many years and i endured so many people put me down, that i don't really believe people when they say something nice, even though i really want to.
i totally understand how u feel. u just need to relax and feel the love u r receiving from your friends/family embrace and send the love back.
2006-12-18 12:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by sheila, TTC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too am not a huge fan of being touched. I can say though, that when you find the right person that goes away. Once I met my husband I started seeing that I couldn't get enough hugs from him! Try to be more open, and when the time is right it'll be better!
2006-12-18 12:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by kherome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it s not a phobia. the household i was raised in wasnt very affectionate to each other. i think by not being around it , just got used to not having it. i personally am particular about my space around me. i dont mind hugs and all, but i try to keep them short. the way i am working through it is, when you see family you have nt seen for awhile, give them a hug, or a close friend. dont try to overdo the hugs, keep it comfortable. a good hug is priceless to whomever is getting it.
2006-12-18 12:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by Harry W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phobias are fears. Are you *really* afraid of contact, or just a bit uncomfortable?
2006-12-18 13:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a dog or a cat or can you borrow one from someone? Their contact is less threatening and more beneficial..if you enjoy the animal, you may start enjoying human contact more?
Sweet dreams
2006-12-18 13:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by rynay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your mother's fault. It always is.
2006-12-18 12:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋