Am I being unreasonable with spouse? Sorry so long...?

Question

Here is my question. My husband insists on going out to the bar 5 out of 7 days a week every week. There is always an excuse I've heard them all..football game...guys are out...worked hard...He asks me for money to go out with. Then will not contribute when he gets paid uses his money for fun too! He sees I am upset over him being gone out so often we have children too and he says it is ok because the bar is close to home!! I don't know what to do anymore I am tired of this I work full time too and take care of the kids. I go to work very early and he is dragging in late waking me up every night! Help? suggestions?

Answer 1

Girl...you deserve better than that! You need to have a serious heart to heart with your husband. That is ridiculous! He is acting like a college boy who does not have a family and responsibilities. If he won't listen to you...then maybe if you know a good male figure who has sense to talk to him and make him realize that he cannot do the same things he did once before. I'm sorry sweetie...your husband needs to grow up! Good luck! :)

Answer 2

NO ITS NOT RIGHT! DONT STAND FOR IT! You guys have a family together! You need to sit him down and tell him that he needs to be spending more time with you and the children and not out with his friends at a stupid bar! 5 Days out the week? NO maybe 2 days out the week or 3 the most. Then he takes your money and spends and dosent return it? NO, its just wrong. Dont give him anymore money.If you need to treat him like a child that he's acting like, then dont pull any money out of your purse to give him.He can wait to go to the bar, he wont die. That is a serious problem.See if you guys can work something out.Like certain days to go to the bar and a BUDGET for him.He seems like an acoholic in the making NO OFFENSE.Good luck sweety.

Answer 3

I Love going to the bar, I am a total bar fly and although I am in a very serious relationship, once in a while I will go there, it is also close to our home, and a lot of fun.
However I have and will not have children with my partner and I do not go out there 5 nights out of 7, He is your husband and has an obligation to you and your kids.
If he must go out then he has to cut down on how many nights he is out there partying away while u r slaving away. He also has to pay for his own nights out, tell him you have payed bills and don't have the money to give him,
Start a saving account for yourself right away just in case you need to start divorce proceedings and/or need if for you and your kids. don't support his bad habits.
when he comes home late he sleeps on the couch in the living room.
Be strong and good luck.

Answer 4

Kick his butt to the curb. Trust me, it's NOT going to change until or unless he gets in a life-situation that forces the change on him. Think of it this way - you have no money now because he's bleeding you, you are sleeping by yourself, you are paying the bills, doing the housework, working full time AND putting up with a drunk who loves his drinking and play time more than he will EVER love you and your kids. He may not be having an affair with a woman, but sweetie, he's still having an affair - with a bottle. Get out while you can and make a decent life for you and your kids. There's somebody out there who will treat you with respect and love you and your kids. Your kids don't deserve to grow up with this. And don't fool youself that they don't know or that it's not affecting them - those are the lies we tell ourselves to make excuses to stay. By staying, all you're doing is telling him "It's okay, go ahead and abuse me." And you ARE being abused. He'd say "I never hit her" (maybe he has, I don't know), but he will never see what he's doing as abuse. IT IS.

Answer 5

Tell him that his behavior is a bunch of crap and that he should look at going to AA he should be spending his time and money on the family when you marry you are suppose to give up the whole single lifestyle you must tell him that if he doesn't start changing his ways you see no other choice then to split. Tell him you are annoyed with the way he is treating you and the children.

One other thing you may want to consider hiring a PI to make sure he is going to the bar with his buddies and not chasing tail.

Answer 6

In my past experience the only reason a man does that is because he doesn't want to be home. I had a husband like that and after he got VD from sleeping with the bar ho's (thank god I didn't) I got rid of that scum bag and found a man that takes me out alot and stays home with me. Good Luck

Answer 7

he is the one who is unreasonable, u need some kind of intervention, this is not at all how a marriage is suppose to be. your entire life is being disrupted by his behavior. he also isn't helping out financially, he is acting very immature. can u get him into therapy? he is acting in a selfish way that doesn't make for a very good marriage, and his excuses are just cop outs, so he can get his way, unfortunatly sometimes when we put our foot down or confront we do run the risk of abandonment.

Answer 8

Lets see, he doesn't contribute financially to the household , disregards your feelings and constantly runs the street. You can do bad/better by yourself. You already are, this is how your life would be as a single parent minus his dumb s**t. Put him out or pack yourself and the kids and leave, file for divorce in the morning.

Answer 9

If he's at a bar this much, then he's got a drinking problem, otherwise, he's just full of BS excuses. You don't need this crap, tell him to man up to his responsibilities & that if he loves you guys, he will quit with the bars.

Answer 10

dont give him any money and demand that he pay his share.. tell him if he want to go out .. fine but he has to give some money to the house.. if not than you need to decide if you want to live this way forever.. and you need never worry about being able to take care of your self like so many other women do.. because you are doing that now