He tells me it took place two years ago yet, he remained friends with this person. Now that I know about them, he ignores her text messages, emails and phone calls. But I dont know how long he will last, it's driving me crazy!
2006-12-18 12:09:57 · 23 answers · asked by Cheated On 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are either going to let it go or ruin your relationship. Yes the trust is gone but if you chose to deal with it you need to let it go. If he's showing you by ignoring her, you have to put it out of your mind that he will do it again. That's the problem with accepting the affair and forgiving him. You always think the worst. If you can't get it out of your head tell him u need some time alone. If it was meant to be he will be there when you're ready.
2006-12-18 12:17:19 · answer #1 · answered by yp_fanta_beaumont 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your decision whether you choose to continue to remain married. One thing for you to consider is whether or not you can continue to have a happy marriage after what he has done. Life is definitely too short for anyone to be living unhappy. I just want to use this as an example: I was married to my husband for eight years. I found out that he was cheating on me with one of my neighbors sisters. It took some time and I forgave him. Then, there was a second and a third. Next the fourth and the fifth. I bet there were at least sixteen different women. I would confront the women until one day one of the women said to me, " He isn't just your man, he is everybody's man". That really made me think. I told him that if he cheated one more time that I was going to leave him. Guess what, he called my bluff. I left. He came back crying and I never took him back. Now he blames me that he has a drug problem because I left him. I am not saying that this will happen in your relationship, but has it just happened once. Have him call this lady in front of you, even if you have to be on the other line, to hear him tell her that it is over. Or you answer the telephone when she calls. Maybe should will get the message that you are not willing to let your husband go that easy. One thing for sure, is if he knows that with him being her friend makes you uncomfortable, then he should end their friendship rather than losing his wife.
2006-12-18 20:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me l know from experience that you will probably never forget about it but with time and a lot of effort you will begin to trust him again and it will just get easier to live with. Why has he not changed his mobile number and also his email address yet ?? That is definately one of the first things he should have done if he genuinely does not want to have any contact with her. I would certainly suggest that he change any numbers that she has. I would also suggest that you ring her, make her aware that you know about the affair and tell her that she is not to have any more contact with him. Hopefully she will be so embarrassed that you know about what she did that you will never have to deal with her again. Then again like in my case(husband cheated) you may have to be a bit more forceful in getting rid of her. If you only recently found out about the affair, it will probably drive you crazy for quite awhile yet. Just be strong. If you and your husband have enough love for each other, you will get through this. Believe me !
2006-12-18 20:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like many of the previous posts say he more than likely still has contact with her after two years and she still has his number ...... I have been on both sides of the fence first time cheated on the second and currently the cheater i don't advocate cheating at all it is truly wrong and people get hurt but you have one of two options put up with it or move on it is what it is Sprint lets you change your cell number numerous times without charging you a dime if he has Sprint tell him to do that. Good luck to you in whatever decision you make.
2006-12-18 20:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by ♥СhOclēŧ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm hellooooo if she is still contacting him, the affair isn't over. Believe me he's only ignoring them when your around. If there was nothing going on she woud respect you and not be contacting him and they definately would not be "friends". If they weren't sneaking around your hubby would have told her to respect your marriage, and she would. It's that simple. The reason you can't get over it is because it ain't over, and deep down you know it. Once a cheater Always a cheater. Bust him and get rid of him. Good Luck, you're better off without a jerk like that. Give yourself a Christmas without all that misery.
2006-12-18 20:18:44 · answer #5 · answered by lilyvix2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me an affair isn't just about sex. It is a violation of finances, heart, thought, time etc...You aren't going to forget it, you have to forgive it. That is a lot to ask of a person especially since he didn't completely end the relationship.You can trust him 100%, you can kick him out and move on or you can sit and wonder what he's doing that you don't know about. If it were me I would move on and find someone who has higher morales and family values.
2006-12-18 20:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by mamadana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to cut all ties with that person, obviously he is not firm enough in his response to her contacts efforts so she still thinks she has a chance with him. Take this initiative:
You make sure that you know what is going on and are not being played for a fool, so feel free to call her yourself and say that you will get the police to put a restraining order preventing her from contacting you or your husband again.
be strong, good luck
2006-12-18 20:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat somewhat. My husband had an affair 3 years ago, we separated for about 6 months. Both agreed to a divorce, so we signed the papers(printed them off the Internet) and the next day, he told me he won't give me one. So, things worked themselves out, but we have myspace accounts, and he found her profile, doing a browse. He started flipping out, and getting all moody. I told him point blank, I know you still love her, so why are you still here? He said he didn't love her, but loved me, and a few weeks ago, he started talking to her via myspace email. I did to, just to say that I was sorry for blaming her for my marriage being over. It was over long before she showed up.
The only thing I can tell you is that in order for you to heal from this, try talking to the mistress. I know it sounds corny and stupid, but let her know that what she is doing is ruining your marriage to your husband. That he choose you over her and that he loves you, so please kindly, get the hell away from him. Or tell him that he has to tell her to leave him alone, if not, you'll leave. It's not fair for you to have to worry about this while he just ignores it.
2006-12-18 22:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by phoniexashes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely he is still in contact with her or she would not keep calling. He is probably not telling her the truth either. You both should get together somehow without killing each other and find out what this loser is up to. He's got it good and playing you both for fools. Sorry, but the truth does hurt sometimes. Good Luck!!
2006-12-18 20:56:49 · answer #9 · answered by Debcee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am willing to bet he is only ignoring her emails, calls, texts etc when you are around. If he were really ignoring them, she would get the message. And yes, you can send an email or call asking her to stop, but then again, if he is initiating them, it won't matter, they will be in touch regardless.
2006-12-18 20:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋