My wife recently told me she loves me but is not in love with me and need time to think so she moved out.help!

Question

my wife and I have recently seperated. She told me that she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. We have two children a 7 an 9 year old, both boys. How can I show her how much she means to me and win her love back. We have been married for 12 years and together for 14. I took her love for granted and now I am stuck without her. I hope and pray she will come back but I just don't know. I love her so much she means the world to me and I am afraid I got too complacent in our relationship and did not tell her everyday how much she meant to me. I want to give her the space and time she needs but I cant stop myself from emailing and calling her constantly. I love her so much and think of her every minute of the day. Any ideas, help or guidance? I need some help I am going crazy thinking I let the most important person in my life slip away and there is nothing I can do about it. Thanks for any input!

Answer 1

The problem here is exactly what you said. You ignored her and took her for granted. She cares about you because you are the father of your children. I have seen this very thing happen in mine, my sister`s, my daughter`s, and 3 of my girlfriend`s marriages. There is a very slim chance that you will get her back as she no longer is in love with you. Not one of us reconciled with our husbands even 3 of us tried. Why does it take the wife to leave before the husband comes to his senses? I think it is more like you can`t have her now so you want her. You forced her to live without any love and were not there for her. When this happened, she learned to live without you. Sorry that you are sad, but just think of the pain you put her through all the years she was loving you but not receiving love from you.

Answer 2

My wife did the same thing and all you can do is ride it out. I know that isn't what you want to hear but that's the truth of it. When a woman doesn't think she is in love with you anymore (but she loves you) there's nothing you can do and only time will tell if she'll miss you or want you back. One thing for sure it will humble you, make you anxious and show you what kind of man you really are. A word to the wise if you ever want her to come back you must continue to be as pleasant as you can be without being a jerk (never lay a hand on her head)! Be as strong as you can be, if you find yourself floundering and feel like your going in a circle (chasing your tail). Get help! Your emotions can play tricks on you so go see a therapist and they'll get you on track. Remember when you talk to her about each other it's only about the two of you not the children, keep them as separate from your feelings for your wife as mother and father. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry that I can't assure you of a happy ending. Merry Christmas and may God Bless all of you.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes, we don't realize what a good thing we have till it's not there anymore. You can start by changing your ways (because you said you took her love for granted) Don't take her love for granted anymore. You should be at your best always, even though times are tough, you should remain positive. I don't know exactly how you will win her love. It sounds as if she's confused? I think you should try & work this out with her, if she's not in love with you anymore, then make her fall in love all over again. Romance might help. Try flowers, candy, candle light dinner to talk this over, gifts, poetry, love letters, etc. If she comes back to you, make love to her on a regular basis. Just because you've gotten old, doesn't mean you can't bring the romance back. I don't know what is happening to your wife, but her moving out is a big thing. Is she in love with someone else? you should find out & do whatever you can to convince her to come back. For the sake of your marriage & for the sake of your children.

GOOD LUCK.

Answer 4

the final concern you're able to do at this factor (by the way i've got faith you soreness and that i've got been on the factor of the place you're), you're able to do marriage counseling first of all. once you adult males do the marriage counseling, provide your self a timeframe once you do each little thing suited to declare climate the subject is you or her. After doing each little thing suited you will a minimum of have the delight which you probably did no longer toss the towel like something of the wimps that only say the hell with it. that is plenty harder to maintain it collectively whether that is nicely worth collectively as have confidence me. Now in the unhappy journey which you won't be in a position to maintain it togather and she or he's definite that she does not love you and there are not any feeling then you definately could be happy and grateful that she became being sincere.; because of the fact there is no longer something worse than being led off track, to easily pass domicile sometime and looking the mailman or the cableguy doing a cable setting up in you mattress room be responsive to what I propose. provide it a competent combat, then a timeframe and spot if she has replaced if no longer then tell her to take the line!

Answer 5

Speaking from personal experience, there's really nothing that hurts more that a persons' love being taken for granted, as what happened to me, and I was married to her for 21yrs. while I was out defending our country, she was over here messing around, so what I'm saying to you is this, if she needs HER space she moved out, then chances are she has something or somebody else going on, and doesn't want to tell you about it, letting you to figure it out for yourself, it's a really harsh observation, but I think you have to let things be the way they are because someday if you do get together with somebody else, you will look back on this experience and learn from it . There's a saying that goes "if you let love go and it comes back to you, it's meant to be forever and if it doesn't it wasn't meant to be" stop the e-maills and calls for awhile and give her the space, I always thought that communication is always the key, but for a lot of people they just don't get it. I'm sorry that your boys have to see their mom act up like that they don't deserve it and it sets a bad example as far as she's concerned. I've found somebody else that loves me as I love her and we both appreciate the things that we do for each other.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I would say for you to call her and let her know how you are feeling. Apologize for not giving her what she deserves. Have you tried sending flowers to her job. Maybe, if you and she would go out for dinner, you could explain things more in detail. People who have been in a relationship this long normally do not just fall out of love. She may be telling you that because she is hurting from all the other times. But now is the best time to give things to her that she will remember over the sad times. Calling sometimes isn't good enough. Why can't you go to see her? It is harder to tell people things face to face rather than on the telephone or the internet. Call and set up arrangements to see her and ask her out on a date again. What you did to get her may very well be your key to keeping her. Good Luck. PS If this doesn't work, give her something good to remember you by.

Answer 7

Calm down, Calm down, panic is not what's going to work for you now, pull yourself together and this is what you do:
Be there for your kids, first and foremost they must be real confused right now.
Let her be to do some thinking and stop calling and e-mailing because it will make things a lot worse, give the lady the time she needs.
Also, next time you speak with her, (She has got to call u sooner or later because of your kids.) Suggest to her couple counselling, and she can still live apart while the two of you are going to therapy together.
Be strong and good luck.

Answer 8

I know women. Do not place all of the blame on yourself. She most likely has been flirting with some other guy, and is experiencing the thrill of it, as compared tho the noble cause of raising a family. As hard as this sounds, prepare yourself for life as a single parent. Plan ahead for joint custody and joint placement(one week with her, one week with you, repeat). Otherwise you will be paying her child support, and her and her new boyfirend will have your kids, and be spending your money! Focus on your children. It will be an effort through all of the heart ache, but you can't get this time back with them ever, so be strong, be brave, be cheerful, and be happy that you have them! Again, focus on your children! Be the ONE adult in their lives that they can count on. Best Wishes.

Answer 9

Am sorry to hear that around Christmas time.What you want to do is let her Berthe.In the mean time try and see your boys on the weekend.That might help everybody out.Good luck and have a Merry Christmas and A happy new year.

Answer 10

There is no easy answer, I suggest you give her the space she wants. Let her figure things out, you heart is going to be on the line, and it will hurt badly for a little while. Stick it out, right now she probably doesn't believe you will change. Give it time, give her space, and be ready for when she does call you back.