Which is worse... your husband going to a topless bar and coppin a feel, flirting with the dancers, and even having a dancer rub herself all over him... or meeting a girl at a club and french kissing her? Is one more serious than the other? Is one more intimate than the other? Need some opinions.
2006-12-18 11:34:06 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I personally wouldn't like my husband doing either of these things. I think they are both as serious as each other but if l had to choose one l would rather the stripper as she is only doing her job. The girl at the bar would be expecting much more than just a kiss l would imagine !! Atleast with the stripper l know he is definately coming home to me the same night !!
2006-12-18 12:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both are bad, but kissing someone is worse.
Dancers are flirted with all the time, and the level of intimacy even with some touching isn't the same level as it is from someone not out there to put on a show. Dancers put on a show in a (somewhat) controlled environment and the likelihood of it getting out of hand is slim. If a dancer is flirting back, it's (usually) all part of the act.
Kissing someone he met is something different. That's out and out cheating.
Put it this way, if it were me and my wife did those things...the stuff with the dancer would easily be forgotten. The kiss would not be. That's just me though, everyone is different.
2006-12-18 11:42:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming the dancer's actions were a result of his request or invitation, I'd say they are nearly equal. The first woman was most likely paid for her action and was unlikely to truly enjoy what he did. He, however, behaved incredibly badly and should have been tossed from the club. The second woman was perhaps unaware of his marital status and frankly wasn't responsible for his actions either.
Of the two, the first examples is perhaps worse because he instigated and continued it greatly. That the entire contact was sexual only increases the wrongness of it.
He obviously is unhappy with his marriage in some way or simply doesn't respect his wife.
2006-12-18 11:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by Empy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither is a sign of a healthy marriage, to be honest, but I would say the girl at the club is probably worse, because the stripper is just doing her job - no emotion or attraction, and men are pretty weak when it comes to that sort of thing, but kissing a girl in a club is a bit more personal. He'd have had to get to know her a bit, etc. Not good.
If my hubby did either he'd be in big trouble, though.
2006-12-18 11:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting the girl at a bar and kissing is intimate. Being at a topless bar is just looking and lusting which isn't cheating at all. I'm a dancer. I see men come in alot who just like to look at and have a pretty woman dance on them, they never cheat in the mean time, then they go home to their wives who they love very much. In fact, alot of them come in to ask advice about "their girl" and I try to give them the best answers and I always encourage their support of and faithfulness to their wives.
2006-12-18 14:42:03 · answer #5 · answered by Lara Croft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wants worse is going to meet a girl at the club. Why? He obvious knows this girl who he meet at the club, to meet her there. So that means he knows her. That means a some kind of a relationship. With the girl at the topless bar is a girl he only sees on stage.. And to her she working making a paycheck. Your husband means nothing to her. she only interest on how much money she can get off him. Meeting a girl at the club is worse.
2006-12-18 11:42:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think they all are wrong. The only half naked or naked person a man should be watching is his wife. The only person that should be kissing on is his wife. And the only person he should be allowing to rub up on him is his spouse. All of these things are tempting. When he is getting involved in things such as this, he is allowing room for adultery. He is doing things that will allow his mind to start wondering the What Ifs.... I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around. What a person sows that they shall also reap. How would he feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What is good for the goose should be good for the gander.
2006-12-18 11:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At a topless or a strip bar it's the girls JOB to do this. If he is in a club kissing other girls everyone might just be drunk.
You are not asking the right question here. If he is out there on the hunt, grab, feel, grind or kiss he is disrespecting you and your marriage, obviously he does not care about hurting you and that's what is really the issue here,
Get counselling or get out,
Good luck
2006-12-18 11:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They are both considered adultery and there is no place in a marriage for a man to be going to either a strip club or a bar to make out with a women. Sounds like you need some serious marriage counseling. Good luck
2006-12-18 11:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geesh what crappy choices!!!! They both are wrong. I would certainly say that french kissing in a club is more intimate, because the stripper is getting paid to rub herself all over him. The french kissing floozy is in it for herself. Bottom line, both of these actions need to stop. Good Luck
2006-12-18 11:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by hockey2525 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋