Who is top priority? Spouse or kids?

Question

Who do you think should be more of a top priority your spouse or your kids?

Your spouse is with you for life - you raise kids for like 20 years and then they make their own lives so I believe your spouse is top priority. I have asked some coworkers about this and they are blood is thicker than water. I see some women, after getting their baby out of him, literally giving the man the same status as the family pet.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Spouse. Women you relegate their husband to a lower status once the baby is born are heading for trouble. Certainly it takes time to get a baby into a routine and to learn how to meet a baby's needs. This is especially true for first time mothers.

However, the best gift a child can receive is to see a happy and loving relationship between his/her parents. Dr. Phil also has this opinion, so if your wife likes Dr. Phil, she may listen to him (if she won't listen to you). Check out his books (not sure which one this advice would be in -- perhaps "Relationship Rescue") and if necessary, buy it for the 2 of you to read together.

Save your relationship and your family and do the right thing. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

This is an interesting question. I think it should be both your kids and your spouse. But if I had to make a choice between the two it would be my children.

I Honestly feel a husband and wife should work together putting their children and each other first and top priority.

Men and women alike leave and forget about their children who do not ask to come into this world.

Its not right to forget your husband or your kids in a relationship and both can lead to serious problems.

Set aside time for you and your husband alone; like a date nite, and plan things that your family can all do together is a good combination.

Remeber, even though your children may make their own lives later they are gonna do so by seeing how you and your husband brought them up and someday bring your grandchildren to raise like you have shown them.

They will always be apart of your life. I wish you the best. You are truelly blessed and I hope you see that. My daughter died at as a newborn and I would give anything in this world to have her alive and well. Now Ive got an EX-Husband I have nothing to do with and remarried again. Happy Holidays.

Answer 3

Both are important. However, kids need looking after because they can't look after themselves - not for a while anyways. Parenthood, like a lot of things in this world, is forever.

Having said this, it's extremely important not to forget or neglect your spouse. The kids may be the priority, but your spouse needs some loving too. Whoever is at home with the kids needs a break, and whoever is away from the house (at work?) needs a chance to catch up.

It is probably better to describe the situation as "different priorities at different times"...

Answer 4

The kids must be raised properly by both parents, but I feel your spouse is your top priority. If your spouse is taken care of, the kids will naturally follow. But, it is a two way street. The man cannot make his wife top priority, and the wife make it the kids. They must be on the same page. Ask kids who are old enough, and they would want their parents to take care of each other.

Answer 5

I know a woman who wanted kids but not necessarily a husband. Eight years later she had 3 kids and an ex-husband. I agree though spouse is more important. In addition to your reasoning, a spouse comes first, ideally anyway. Your kids will share half the genetic material of your spouse so a reliable, trustworthy spouse is a top priority. Your spouse you have more control over in choosing. What children you have is already half determined by their genetic makeup.

Answer 6

well I think that children are a first priority, but a frequent mistake that couples make is forgetting to maintain a relationship with each other, that doesnt involve their children, because once th kids are gone, they are gone, and what are you going to do sit around and just stare at each other like...who are you, people change, just remind your spouse that you are still there, support them too and support your kids, if the kids are still small dont take it personally because children need all the attention, or else they do something crazy. Just remember to maintain a relationship not just in the bedroom either, throw sparks at them even when they are there cleaning up the childrens mess. good luck

Answer 7

i think that's an impossible question to answer...and it shouldn't ever have to come up. really, kids are a priority in some ways, but since both parents should feel equally about that, they'll be able to give kidswhat they need and still give each other what they need. it's hard though for new mothers because growing a human being inside of you and then being put in charge of making sure that little person is healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally until they've grown up, and then still being their whenever they're needed changes a woman. plus, you said that kids are only around for 20 years? and spouses are for life? have you noticed how common divorce is now? spouses may not be forever, but you create a child, and that child is part of your life until you die.

Answer 8

I'm responsible for taking care and providing for my child. I love her more than anything on Earth and would do anything for her, including die for her. She is the reason why I live life the way I do.

That being said, I believe the covenant of marriage means that I must love my wife as Christ loved the Church - which means in an immeasurable way. I do love my wife very much, and even though I find a natural connection to my daughter, I would have to put my wife above my daughter in the way you have described it. We're not talking "who would you choose to let die" or something silly like that. I'm talking about how I manage life and how I set priorities. Children are supposed to go off on their own one day, but I shall always be married to my wife.

Answer 9

They are both top priority. You have to make time for him after the kids are in bed. That is where timing comes in handy and that is where the parents have to work together to raise the kids so they can have time together. You shove him aside and forget he needs you to then you lose him maybe to another woman.

Answer 10

Undoubtedly the spouse is top priority. In fact, in some households family pets get a royal treatment...think about that...