Emotional trust issues...?

Question

I have a terrible time opening up emotionally to anyone. I've come to the realization that I have serious trust issues, but I do not know where the issues come from. I tend to be willing to talk with people when asked direct questions, but I can never initiate conversations about myself.

How do I open up? How would I initiate such conversations with people?

Ok...let me posit an addendum to my question, for clarification purposes.

The problem I experience is not merely one of shyness. Actually, in this circumstance, it is not at all shyness, but in fact, more fear. Fear of what exactly? Fear of rejection, fear of alienation of affection, fear of being judged, fear of being thought less of because of whatever it might be that I might have to say about myself.

Answer 1

I am the exact same way. I'm not quite sure how my trust issues started (being that I used to be an outgoing kid), but know that I want them to end. I tend to wait until people show me that I can trust them, but people don't understand why I can't trust them, and that trust takes time. Actually, because of my trust issues, I had to break up with my boyfriend, as heartbreaking as it was. I hate looking back on the past couple of years, knowing that I had wasted opportunities, and have closed myself off from the world.

I think the only way we can open up is by breaking our comfort bubbles. I know it sounds easier than it really is. Take little steps at a time. It's hard for me to tell another how to open up, especially when I have issues with it myself. But I will go on anyway. For starters, you could sit in a room with a few of your close friends, and just talk. Talk about anything, no limits, no rules, just an endless discussion about everything. If you start to feel like you are staying reserved, butt in, take charge. Soon you'll get lost in the conversation, and lose the reservedness. If you know your friends will listen to you, and establish that connection, it helps open you up.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You could probably benefit from a few sessions with a good therapist. I have trust issues as well, and though I was addressing my self injury, manic depression, and social anxiety while I was seeing my therapist, just talking to a stranger about my issues really helped me to learn how to open up to people.

On a related note, I don't self injure anymore, my manic depression is under control, and I can now go out in public without having panic attacks, all thanks to my therapist. :)

Answer 3

Shyness can hold you back in more than just relationships. Here is the best way to cure yourself of shyness.... Ready.......here it goes......listen carefully... JUST STOP BEING SHY, KNOCK IT OFF...Practice practice practice . Also People want to talk about themselves, so let them, and be a good listener. Your trust is a self defense mechanism. What do you have to hide, and why are you afraid?