What exactly is passive-aggressive behavior?

Question

I'm in a fairly new relationship and I think my bf ways may fall in this category. It seems like he always wants me to feel sorry for him and its getting on my nerves. HELP

Answer 1

Passive aggressive behavior is aggressive in a passive way. For example, I was out of the office and available by cell phone. My co worker wanted me to answer a message. She knew I was oout of the office as I put a big sign on my door. The co-worker was was on a whine and pout because I did not answer her. she portrayed her self as a victim because after all she left a message on the sign on the door. I should have answered the message even though she did not call me on the cell phone like everyone else.

Or more typically, the wife asked the husband to take out the garabage. He know it makes her angry and get her goat by not taking out the garbage. She becomes increasing nagging and wild as he is passive and does not take out the garbage. She will become out of control to get him to do what she wants. But he on the other hand is passive and nice and potrays himself a victim of a wife that is out of control. when the whole time he is passively / agressivly expressing his anger towards her. She simply acts out the anger for both of them.

Answer 2

Passive-aggressive personality disorder (also called negativistic personality disorder) is a controversial personality disorder said to be marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.

It was listed as an Axis II personality disorder in the DSM-III-R, but was moved in the DSM-IV to Appendix B ("Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for Further Study") because of controversy and the need for further research on how to categorize the behaviors in a future edition. On that point, Cecil Adams writes: "Merely being passive-aggressive isn't a disorder but a behavior — sometimes a perfectly rational behavior, which lets you dodge unpleasant chores while avoiding confrontation. It's only pathological if it's a habitual, crippling response reflecting a pervasively pessimistic attitude" .

When the behavior is part of a disorder, the lack of repercussions resulting from passive-aggressive behavior can lead to an unchecked continual attack, albeit passive, on one's acquaintances. The treatment of this disorder can be difficult, mostly because efforts to convince the person that they have this problem are met with resistance, and the passive-aggressive will frequently leave a treatment regimen claiming that it did no good. Since the effectiveness of various therapies have yet to be proven, these individuals may be correct.

In the psychoanalytic theory of transactional analysis, many types of passive-aggressive behavior are interpreted as "games" with a hidden psychological payoff, and are classified into stereotypical scenarios with names like "See What You Made Me Do" and "Look How Hard I've Tried".

Answer 3

Okay lets say you want to watch Pirates of the Caribbean and your boyfriend wants to watch An American Haunting. You give into him with no Resistance. But you watch his move and are obviously discomfort. Next day you tell him all the nightmare you had.

Instead of telling your boyfriend that you don't watch scare movies. You passively agree to watch one but then you show your aggression by being uncomfortable and by telling him about your nightmares.

Part of what is so frustrating about people who are passive aggressive is that they show their aggression in such a way that you really can't get angry at them at them. If you get angry about them taking control of things it is often like kicking a puppy dog! They are just tiny and small and weak and they didn't mean anything by it. How could you be so mean!!!

Answer 4

it's ACTING helpless, or innocent, or nice on the surface, but in fact, you're attacking, or commanding, or controling.

for example (from wikipedia), if a passive aggressive person does not want to go to a party, instead of just saying so like a normal person, they might take so long to get ready that by the time they leave for the party, the party is almost over already.

or if he wanted you to change something, a normal person would just tell you, as a passive aggressive person might say "i really miss the way my old girlfriend used to..."

it's not an admirable trait, but everybody does it on occasion.

Answer 5

That sounds more like a martyr complex to me. Passive-aggressive is "forgets" an obligation or commitment. Punishes you silently if you've done something to upset him. It's very annoying!

Answer 6

it is not ordinary to pinpoint whilst somebody is behaving passive aggressively by using fact it particularly is often no longer sparkling what their underlying motivations are. in case you attempt to call somebody out on their PA behaviour and ask in the event that they are offended they might tend to disclaim it or perhaps get you to 2d wager your concept of them, inflicting you to be conflicted approximately what to think of of them. An occasion of PA behaviour is say, an worker who's envious of his boss procrastinates approximately getting his artwork executed, which reasons his boss to be unprepared for a meeting. whilst his boss confronts him approximately it, he says that he wasnt instructed whilst the artwork became due, and that he became busy with different artwork. on the outdoors this guy or woman will possibly no longer look as though a bitter guy or woman and he's in all probability no longer completely conscious of his anger himself.

Answer 7

Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. Instead of communicating honestly when you feel upset, annoyed, irritated or disappointed you may instead bottle the feelings up, shut off verbally, give angry looks, make obvious changes in behaviour, be obstructive, sulky or put up a stone wall. It may also involve indirectly resisting requests from others by evading or creating confusion around the issue. Not going along with things. It can either be covert (concealed and hidden) or overt (blatant and obvious).

Answer 8

Does he say,''I love you'' and ''you're a b**ch'' in the same sentence. People tell you that they are a jerk before they demonstrate that they are a jerk. LISTEN

Answer 9

He is a perpetual "victim". Either get him to therapy or leave him.

Answer 10

just get rid if he is not making you feel good