My boyfriend and I are both in our mid thirties and we have both never been married nor have kids. We are very much in love. We have been together for 7 month he moved in last month. He reeelly annoys me. He is so nice and sweet - he cleans, he buys me flowers to say how mcuh he cares, we hang out great together. But he is turningme into a NAG. I am starting to not like being with him because I start nagging him because he annoys me. I know he has invaded my space, but I wan to be with him - what is happening to me - and how I can I fix it- but tell him to stop what he's doing that annoys me?
SAVE ME FROM MYSELF
2006-12-18 09:54:18 · 29 answers · asked by woozeylucy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The root cause of nagging is a feeling of entitlement. You feel you are entitled to a boyfriend who has no annoying habits, and when your boyfriend doesn't cooperate it makes you angry and you nag him in an effort to pressure him into being the partner you deserve.
The reality is that you have no right to an ideal and non-annoying boyfriend. Your boyfriend is a human being, and he, and every other guy, is going to have faults.
To break the nagging habit simply accept that you are not entitled to have him behave exactly as you would like. The only way he will change any of his behaviors is if he feels like it, and the best way to make him feel like changing is to make him feel good about it. So, instead of nagging, ask him nicely if he would make the change as a favor to you, and if he does make a change, show your gratitude frequently and sincerely.
2006-12-18 10:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Andy F. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you guys are mature adults but I think that you both are moving to fast. You've been together for 7 months and already are living together. What exactly annoys you? If this is your first time living with someone who is not family related it may be really hard to understand some people's habits. I know from experience....The best thing you can do is tell him how you feel about somethings. If he loves you that much then he will respect what you are saying and try to adjust.
You are in a new situation that you have never been in before so now you have to start compromising and adjusting to your new life. I hope you work out some of the issues and live happily together!
2006-12-18 10:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by L.M.L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you having enough sex?
Are you each getting enought time by yourself?
Is something bugging you?
Living together takes some time and effort to adjust. Sometimes things that aren't a big deal to one of you matter a lot to the other. Sometimes the best way to share thinsg isn't equally: if you hate some chores and he hates others, you should each take on the chores the other hates, that sort of thing. But if you both love each other a lot, you should be willing to put the effoirt in to figure this out and make it work.
Clearly the nagging thing isn't working. You need to try to have discussions about problems, where both of you actually want to find a solution that will work for both of you. Nagging isn't a discussion, and it can make it harder to have real discussions, because when you open your moth he assumes nagging is about to come out of it.
2006-12-18 10:01:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru this same situation. My fiance and I moved in together this summer, he is 25 and I am 19 and still in college. I know what you mean with the how you love him but he annoys you thing. I soon came to realize that we were spending TOO much time together. You love each other, but when you're underneath each other 24/7, watching everything the other does, and each other's moves, it gets annoying. I know i got annoyed especially because he would say the same thing over and over every 5 mins or he would ask the same thing, when they already know the answer.
Just try not spending so much time together, if you do. Try having a girls night, or going out to the mall or something when he's home, or something to keep your mind occupied that you enjoy. that's what I had to start doing. I started spending more time at school to study, or going to the mall or grocery store. even if for five minutes, you need a break from each other. it helps and works wonders...
2006-12-18 10:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by lildrumagrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would happen with anyone that moved in with you. You just are not used to being with someone that much and sharing your personal space. You really need to ask yourself if he is actually doing annoying things or if you are just being grumpy. More than likely, he isn't doing anything. Once you come to terms with the idea that you made this decision, you will be able to handle it better. I think that you need to take a good hard long look at your situation. Would you be happier if he moved out? You have to take some good with the bad, sweetie. We all do. He might not be Mr. Perfect but is he Mr. Perfect For You??
2006-12-18 09:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its typical, of people in there mid 30s or older, who have not had or never had to deal with roommates, always had their own place have a tough time adjusting with someone else living with them. Seems like he is doing great, other then you never said what is it that he does annoys you. If it is because he moved in with you and is invading your space and privacy, then darling too bad, this is exactly how marriage would be like, at least now you have the option of calling it quits asking him to leave and plan on living all alone for the rest of your life....
2006-12-18 10:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to sit and talk. It is rough for awhile getting used to each other. I waited until I was in my 30's before moving in with anyone, we are married now. It was rough, you have lived alone for a long time and are used to doing things a certain way. I was too. We spent a lot of time discussing the differences in the way we do things. I still get annoyed with him, but have learned to pick my battles. Some things are worth getting angry over, but if you let everything get to you, you will be broken up in no time. Good luck, if you love him, work it out.
2006-12-18 09:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop that thing immediately ,this is the start of the end.What you have to do is to make something shokky like teliing that your taking your things and leaving the place and show that you mean this or even do it.If he loves you, will react with several ways but at a very short time he will admit love.Try it the both of the results are good for you.If he doesnt love you and seperate is good for you isn't it?
2006-12-18 10:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by Leftalone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why you date.
It is like shopping; if the pants look great and fit great except that they are too short, you have a choice to make. The pants are NOT going to grow, no matter how much you tug. So if you can live with it, buy the pants. If not, don't. It really is that simple. You have to know yourself well enough to make that call. Yes, he can change himself, but it is very important that you count on him staying the way he is.
God bless.
2006-12-18 10:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by Ha! Invisible! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After being single for so long you are used to everything being your way in your house. Now you are having to learn to compromise and that can be a hard thing to do. Maybe you need to agree to stay together, but that it doesn't work for you to live together. Lots of divorced couples still enjoy doing things together after the divorce, but they just couldn't stand living together. If you just can't stand it, you might need to live apart again before you kill the entire relationship.
2006-12-18 10:02:26 · answer #10 · answered by PDH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋