I'm tired of being the one who always gives, who sacrifices and who compromises. I get very little affection, thought, caring from him, and I'm craving his attention. But he doesn't give me any...it's like we are roommates more than anything else.
2006-12-18 09:22:30 · 14 answers · asked by nb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
after having been married 25 years, you will go through these times, why it is called the 7 year itch. Talk to him. See if he is tired, over worked, feeling depressed or just not interested and ask why? Then explain how you feel and ask him if he wants to stay in the marriage or not? Point blank, if he does explain it takes two to tango and if he doesn't want to dance, well you are going to step on out....Sounds both of you need a weekend away alone, no kids or friends, and get some dirty movies and toys.and a sexy nightie and see if that doesn't liven things up good luck...ha..
2006-12-18 09:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by TaylorProud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several things you can do to get the spark back. Try counseling, it always helps to have a mediator to help you both get your feeling across. If you feel you don't want that 3rd person, both of you sit down w/pen & paper in hand. Write down all of your complaints and write down ways you can both accomplish what you want to see happen. Each night, go over what things was done correctly and what things can be worked on...and voice "how" the approaches can be made better. Note, I used "both", because marriage is a 50/50 effort. He may have issues with you that is causing him to be non-responsive to your needs. Don't give you, try dating again if you need to. Be prayerful, open-minded, compromising and patient. It can be done. I've been there..married 7 going on 8(counsil helped us). Good luck sweetie!
2006-12-18 17:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Jazzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should treat him as a roommate since he doesn't do much more than that.
Start planning your life out of his, find a new place to live (don't move, yet), to get comfortable with idea of it being over, then talk to him about it.
Doing it that way leaves you in a position to make a decision in your best interest instead of what is convenient or believing what you want to hear when you talk to him.
You don't need to threaten him to get him to respond. Just have everything ready for you to move on if he doesn't give you what you need, or if you decide not to stay with him.
You should certainly talk to him, & without accusing words or attack, it should be an "I feel like this about our relation ship" conversation. You don't have to be enemies to end it.
2006-12-18 17:42:37 · answer #3 · answered by Jenalyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel your pain.....i am in the same boat...except i have been married for 13 years. it is so hard when you crave love and attention and they do not want to give it. you can talk tell you are blue in the face and they will not change....take my advice, life is too short to stay in a relationship where you are unhappy. do what you can to make it work, counseling and if that does not work, move on! that is what i am working on!
2006-12-18 18:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by jennjenn175 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know how you feel. guys have weird ways of communication. the fact that he comes home every nite makes him think you guys are doing great! he probably doesn't realize that you need more. probably thinks that you are older and more settled and don't need cuddling and nuturing from him..... obviously that is not true, but maybe you need to let him know that you are about to leave if he can't pull some hidden affection out of himself.
if it doesn't work or if he thinks you've turned right nutty, then hit the road. you deserve a guy who can't keep his hands off you.
â¥
2006-12-18 17:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a serious sit down with him. Say ,OK this is how I feel. And I been thinking that maybe I don't want to spend the next 40 years with someone like you. So you have a choice. you can either try to be what I need, or not. it's up to you. If he doesn't improve . have another sit down and tell him its over.
2006-12-18 21:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by jassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Soooo...does he know this? I mean, does he actually KNOW this, or do you just ASSUME he should know?
What should you do? Tell your husband exactly what you've said here. If the current state of your relationship is making you this unhappy, you not only have the right to tell him so...you have that responsibility. Do not blame him for your unhappiness when you have not given him the opportunity to make things right.
2006-12-18 17:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Dr. Phils advice on "Calling It Quits"
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/23
2006-12-18 18:30:25 · answer #8 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like "boredom" has set in and/or you have the 7 year itch. Do what you can to get back in touch with each other emotionally. Counseling will likely help.
2006-12-18 17:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So...why are you still there????? Sounds like a pretty one way relationship....what joy do you have? What love? What happiness? Hmmmm...I am thinking it is time to make a life for yourself....good luck
2006-12-18 17:26:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋