I had my bag stolen whilst on holiday and i cant seem to get over it?

Question

i just think about it all of the time and i feel so stupid for allowing it to happen, it makes me want to cry.
i know it sounds stupid but for some reason it hit me hard.
i get so upset by it, it drives me nuts thinking that that evil person stole my bag! i dont know what to do

i ahve no idea why this was placed in the gay and lesbian section! and what has my mother got to do with anything???

thank you so much for your support everybody, i know to some of you it doesnt sound like a big deal and i sound like im blowing it all out of proportion!
i want to choose a best answer but i just cant !

thank you xxxxx

Answer 1

Kate.
From a psycological point of view i can see two reasons.

You may well be a trusting person who likes to believe the the best in people until proven otherwise. This incident has shown you the 'otherwise' side of people. Not everyone out there is honest and kind as we'd like to feel they are. Without badness, there can be no goodness. Sometimes we have to accept that we have been on the receiving end of someone else's FUBAR'd internal psyche and it's just down to us to deal with it.

On the other hand, do you feel personally violated by this incident?. If so, i would suggest counselling because it would suggest to me (on a purely non professional POV) that there is some other issue (maybe of trust?) that you need to address.

Just a thought but i hope you feel better soon.

Answer 2

I feel for you - I have been burgled and believe me, I could not tell you what possessions I lost but I can clearly remember the overpowering feeling of my personal space having been violated - and that was 5 years ago. Every day and night since then, I have to check the doors and windows and have had to force myself to stay in the pub or restaurant after dark when all I really want to do is go home and check my house.

There is an awful feeling of loss as well as vulnerability when you have been robbed, and sometimes it can become overwhelming. I think you may be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and you should tell your GP how you are feeling - you would do well in 'talk' therapy, where you are given a chance to express your anger, loss and fear and where you can learn how to put these feelings behind you and return to the person you were before.

Email me if you need to talk more about this. Good luck.

Answer 3

Your reaction is pretty normal so dont feel stupid.One feels violated when something that belongs to u is taken away by force.
I have been thru such a situation twice so i speak from experience,the first time my cell phone was snatched at gun point and the second time i was naive enough to leave my suitcase containing most of my wearable wardrobe besibes some other valuable stuff in a cab cause i had to take a leak ,when i came out of the public toilet the cabbie was gone.This happened around a year ago and believe me my stomach wretches whenever i think about it,that was actually stupid,letting stuff get snatched is not stupid cause you r liable to get hurt if u resist the attempt.
The best advise i can give u is to think of your options in that particular situation and would it have been worth getting hurt for?
So relax dear lady,mateial stuff u can get again ,life is way too precious.

Answer 4

Its not stupid at all, your trust was violated. Even though your own actions allowed it, that still doesn't make it right! I mean if people would just stop and think about others for 5 seconds they may not do 1/2 of what they do, but then we would live in a different world, and we don't, we live in this one. On the positive side, I bet you keep an eye on your bag from on. :// I hope you get to feeling better soon!

Answer 5

I felt incensed, stupid and violated when I was burgled.

Then I realised it was just possessions. I wasn't (physically) hurt. I could replace some (most) of the stuff. And the only person losing out by my feeling this way was ME!

Your thief has won twice! (S)he has stolen your bag AND your well-being.

Get your well-being back.

Take your best friend out for a 'new bag' day. Spend all day shopping for it. Have lunch out. Buy stuff to go in your bag. Do stupid stuff. Have fun and a laugh. And when you are done, see if you don't feel better.

Good luck and have a good Christmas!
.

Answer 6

Your first concern is getting new forms of your identification and stopping all credit cards and checking accounts.
If you lost anything of personal value- photos, mementoes, I am sorry for your loss.
Bad things happen to good people. We all lose something at some point in our lives, no matter how careful we try to be.
The one night i did not check my back door, some one broke in and robbed me while I was asleep in my bed. Imagine my surprise and horror to learn that the robber was taking my wallet off my desk-- 2 feet from my bed.
Some things you just have to let go. Learn by your mistake and go on. Just be really careful where you put your purse or wallet. And keep an eye out on your credit reports for a while in case the person tried to use a credit card. My best to you.

Answer 7

It's quite normal for the females to feel that way. I know my wife felt terrible for a few weeks just because she her bag got stolen. It's just emotion, an automatic reaction. Tell yourself that it's over and there is nothing you can do about it accept to take steps to avoid future recurrence. Go buy yourself a new bag, and a new set of everything you lost. I'm sure that will make you feel better. Now you've got a good excuse to go shopping for new stuff.

Answer 8

Your bag is part of you as it contains lots of personal things and it will feel the same as if someone broke into your house I'm sure.My sister had someone try to snatch money out of her hand in a bank and she was quite traumatised by it,she kept looking at everyone all the time wondering if it was them and expecting it to happen again.Maybe you should go to your doc and see if they'll give you something for your nerves even talking about it might help.Hope you'll get over it soon.

Answer 9

I've been there, too - it's not the bag, it's what was inside the bag that counts. I lost a mobile, £50 & many personal items. This was 6 years ago, but it takes ages to get over it. My muggers were never caught, either. You're not the only one, but so close to Christmas, it makes it a lot worse.

Answer 10

chances are, the person that stole your bag isn't evil at all. i know that knowledge won't return the bag to you, but remember its just stuff. even possessions with loads of sentimental value are only material goods. their loss doesnt mean any past events are erased, or people that you knew never existed.

i think you should try thinking about the person who stole your bag. maybe that person was so desperate, for reasons that i am glad i cant imagine. maybe they were heroin addicts, maybe their kids were ill, maybe they were kids themselves, with no-one to show them what it is to have respect for themselves and others.. i don't know, so many possibilities.

but you are lucky enough to be sitting in front of a computer, which implies you're not starving just yet. so instead of hating your mugger, maybe be glad that your life is so different from theirs.