Pros and cons of waiting until 12 weeks to tell about pregnancy?

Question

For ouer first pregnancy we waited until 12 weeks and it was just horrible! I was so sick and tired and felt all alone cos no one knew why i was feeling so terrible. I also hated having to be so sneaky all the time. Do you think the benefit of not having people know about a miscaraige (if that is a benefit???) outweighs eveything else? I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my second and not sure if i can do the 12 week wait again! What are your opinions?

Answer 1

I think it's nuts not to tell people before 12 weeks, and quite frankly I find this unwritten law pretty destructive actually.

If for some sad reason something does happen, I would think a woman would want the support of friends, family, close co-workers...

Go out and tell the people you want that you are pregnant! You don't have to tell everybody.....just the people you want to tell!!! You're pregnant! Yea!!!! Congratulations! Celebrate! Be happy, don't place undue stress on yourself by having to run around in secret..... Just keep yourself healthy and safe!

Congratulations!!!

Answer 2

Okay, depending on how quickly in succession you took those tests, your system might not have had enough of the hormone to give a positive result on the negative tests. A blood test is the only definitive way to know, which you said you're already getting. I hope for your sake that it's negative and you got two false positives. If you want an abortion, it's up to you. Please keep this in mind though- My boyfriend and I had an accident when I was 16 (the condom broke), and biology was successful. I ended up miscarrying; on one hand, it was a blessing. I wasn't in a place to have a child and it would have been really difficult to be where I am today, coincidentally married to the same man. On the other hand, I STILL feel guilty even though I didn't consciously make the decision to abort. Just think it through and take your time. The timing wouldn't be ideal, but it's not an impossible situation either. If you don't want to keep the baby, you can still continue (for the most part) with your normal life and then give the baby to a couple who isn't fortunate enough to be able to have their own child perhaps? Again, it's your decision, just don't rush things.

Answer 3

I told immediately with my 1st pregnancy and had a miscarriage at 5 weeks.With my 2nd we waited until I was past the 12 weeks-and thankfully had a perfect baby.I am now almost 31 weeks pregnant and we told at 6 weeks with this baby because I needed my mom and others to watch my 19 month old son for various appointments I had-and I was very sick and they already suspected.
I say tell-it will be a happy Christmas suprise!And if unfortunately you should miscarry-your family and friends should be supportive and understanding!

Answer 4

In my own experience, having had 2 miscarriages, one at 11 weeks and one at 14 weeks, we are waiting! It was hard when people who didn't know that you miscarried blurt out in the deli section of wal-mart, "Wow! You look great for being so and so months pregnant!" And then you have to stand there and explain, well. . . . . OR having to hear again and again how sorry they are for you. . . We are pregnant again, and at 11 weeks still haven't told many people, except our parents, and my best friend, and will probably wait for another few weeks.
BUT, if you've never had a miscarriage, and at your early ultrasound the doc said things looked fine, then you should be fine telling people.

Answer 5

We are planning a 12 week wait. At 35+ years old, the chance of miscarriage or serious genetic abnormality is so much higher that I want that cushion of time. I know my coworkers will figure something is amiss. I have only called in sick one day in 10 years. I have been supremely dodgy so far in our willingness to even have children, so I suspect I might slip this one past them.

And don't think of it as sneaky....just a wee bit evasive.

Answer 6

i am almost 6 weeks and we have just told our parents. Will tell other family members over christmas. As far as friends go we are waiting for the 12 weeks. I think that if you had a miscarriage your family will be there for you anyway. They are going to find out one way or another. I felt that i needed someone to talk to besides my husband about it as it is my first pregnancy.

Answer 7

A miscarriage is extremely sad... a horrible thing to go through and no one wants to have to tell everyone that they lost the baby.

HOWEVER, I think the support is very important when you suffer a miscarriage should you, God forbid, have one.

I think telling people before 12 weeks is great. I have many friends and family members that tol dme before 12 weeks... and it's SOOOO exciting! The mommy gets lots of support, emotionally and otherwise, and has something fun and exciting to share. I don't think there is anything wrong with telling before 12 weeks.

Answer 8

I have had to miscarriages after telling family and a few friends...When I did get pregnant with my son I waited until after 12 weeks to tell anybody...I am pregnant again and have only told my parents and my best friend so far...Me and my hubby want to wait until we know every thing is okay...They say once there is a detected heart beat than the chances of losing it drops way down..Good Luck and congrats!!!

Answer 9

Tell people whenever you want to. Generally just keep it close for a couple months, then make the big announcement around 12 weeks. It's more about not getting yourself or other people all excited. Whatever works for you.

Answer 10

I am 6 weeks and I have told a few people. A few friends, and my husbands family. I have not told my family though. I am waiting until after the holidays (because my mom wont be happy and I dont feel like hearing it during the holidays).