Today I found out I am having a girl and my husband is very mad for me and told me to abort it?

Question

My husband told me to abort my 3 month pregnancy and told me that if i don't he will make me very sorry if I dont do it I am very scared what are my rights here in the US
I am from Baghdad and the women have little rights
I want to keep my baby,how can i make him feel the same
He made me call clinic to make appointment and they do this kind of thing for women up to 25 weeks
I wish they didnt do this thing for women at 25 weeks than i would have accuse to my husband why i have to keep my baby but i still have lots more time for a clinc abortion I can't do this.... if i do i will kill my self... WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE HIS MIND.

Answer 1

Well, here in the US your Husband has NO say whatsoever about what you choose to do with your body. Tell your Husband that you are going to have your baby. End of story.

Answer 2

First of all, the man's sperm determins the gender of the baby, so if he wants to accuse anyone for having a girl, then he needs to look very carefully in the mirror. If you are seeing a doctor then you can talk to your doctor about different rights. If your husband goes with you, then confidentially call your doctor while your husband is at work. In America, women have the right to choose what they want to do with their babies. And our husbands do not have the right to treat us badly. We are not property. If you know that your husband is physically abusive, then call the police ( 9-11 ). But you know your husbands bahavior better than anyone. You have every right to keep your baby. He can not force you to have an abortion.

Just becasue you have a girl now, doesn't mean you won't have a boy later. IF you do have an abortion, then you might not be able to concieve again. Which means no chance of a boy. Besides ultrasounds have been wrong in the past.

Ultimately I would try to call my doctor if you can, or find a clinic that supports pregnancy and they may even offer a shelter for you to go to, if you feel you are in physical danger. You have rights. But since you do have internet access, then you can try to find some local support groups in your area also.

Good luck with everything, and God Bless

Answer 3

Was he ok with you being pregnant to begin with? Why does he not want a girl? How do you know at 3 months that you are having a girl? my friend was told at 20 weeks she was having a girl and then when she went in 6 weeks later for another ultrasound the docotr said um you are not having a girl we made a mistake and it is a boy. The doctor told her that the baby sex can become a boy all the way up to 25 weeks. usually the sex of the baby does really develop till between 18 weeks and 25 weeks. i hope this helps.
You can let him know that abortion is not the way to go just because thet is not the sex of baby he wants. You could end up getting pregnant again and having another girl. Also everytime you have a abortion you minumize your chances of getting pregnant again and it is not health for you. If anything you can leave him. He si really not anyone you might need to be with if he can't support you.

Answer 4

Go to a Women's Shelter in your area. He may not be physically abusive to you, but this is certainly psychological abuse. The social workers at the shelter can get you in touch with immigration attorneys who can help you figure out what your rights are in this country, and can help you with supervised visits with your husband and/or with counseling so you can figure out how to say what you need to say in a way your husband can really hear. In the interim, you can tell him that those ultrasounds are not 100% correct - there has been more than one mom who painted the nursery pink only to discover that she had to repaint it blue once the baby actually got here! Whatever you do, don't let him bully you into making a decision that will haunt you for the rest of your life. If you decide to get an abortion, do it because it is what is right for you, not just because he told you to do it. I wish you strength, and peace....

Answer 5

Firstly, it sounds like your husband sounds like a jackass.

Secondly, women in America have the same rights as any other human being.

I doubt that you will be able to make your husband feel the same way as you do about having a girl. However, if he wants a son perhaps he should be reminded that you can always have another child in the future and that medical complications from an abortion might make that harder.

I think you would benefit from immediately seeing a counselor. Please seek the advice of a professional before making such a major decision.

Answer 6

If he has threatened you, you should leave him. I'm curious how you were able to find out at 12 weeks that you're having a girl since the sex organs don't develop for anopther month. But regardless....you're not in baghdad any more, honey, and if you stay with a man that abuses or mistreats you or your child, it's no one's fault but your own. However, you are not alone - there are all kinds of organizations to help you. Call a crisis line and get the hell outta there.

Answer 7

I know that you are bound by cultural traditions which few of the readers from the US will truly understand. I know that you are dealing with powerful things which result in your own feelings and aspirations being secondary.

But, and it is a big but this time, you are living in a country which follows different traditions and has different rules which will conflict with your husbands desires. You are not bound by either rule set, you can make your own compromise or go with either.

It really comes down to what is most important for you. Decide, act firmly and never look back, hold your head up and whatever decision you make, believe in it and make it work for you. Your future happiness depends on it.

Answer 8

Keep the baby and get rid of the idiot. You have plenty of rights in the US. He cannot MAKE you do anything. Leave him. You need to make a plan, gather some money and belongings and find a safe house. There are plenty of help out there for women in abusive relationships.

Sounds like he is trying to control you and it is only going to get worse.

A life with him is not worth the life you will toss away.

Answer 9

I can't believe you are seriously hoping to change his mind. I would pack his bags and tell him to hit the road. What a heartless jerk. You have all the rights in this country to divorce him and walk away a winner. You are better off raising your child on your own then forcing a child to live with a father that wanted her dead. It sounds to me that you are in an abusive marriage, so instead of calling abortion clinics, call the SOS shelter for battered women and children. There are people out there who can and will help you. Your number one concern at this point is to protect the magical gift you have growing inside of you. Good luck with everything. You are in my thoughts

Answer 10

Thats NOT right. You have every right to keep your beautiful little girl. I think I'm right in saying that boys are more socially acceptable in your society? Anyway- you cannot let your husband force your hand in this. If you have the strength I urge you to leave him as soon as possible. He doesn't sound persuadable to me and I fear that he might hurt you or the baby. You have the right to keep her and there are plenty of womens hostale and support groups to help you. If he becomes violent don't hesitate to call the police.
You and your baby girl come first. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you do what you think is right *hugs*

Answer 11

In America you do not have to have an abortion if you do not want to! It is completely your choice, unless you can both decide together what would be best for the three of you. Maybe your husband just needs some time to think about the situation. I suggest counseling!