Whenever I clean my mom goes through things I am giving away and gets upset about it. What can i do?

Question

I am currently moved home from college and I dont want ANY of this childhood crap in my room anymore, but my mom wants me to hold onto a lot of it. I will put it out to be given away or thrown out and she will put it back in my room saying "Well you have to keep this, so and so gave it to you.." etc. How do I tell her without hurting her that I don't want it anymore! It keeps ending up back in my room!

Answer 1

It sounds to me you're mom really should deal with her "empty nest" syndrome before it impedes your ability to create autonomy. (becoming one unto yourself) Explain to her gently~ "Mom, I need you to help me grow up...not keep me a child" Just agree, that it is hard but you will always be her daughter no matter what; you'll always love her.

If that doesn't work, try some counsel with a pastor, priest or licensed professional.

Answer 2

Granted you may be of legal age, but it never means that you have to throw away your entire childhood. Some people, well actually many people think they are old enough for their own good, when in fact they haven't even grown up yet.

I'm not going to say you are that way. However, your mother just wants to hold on a little longer. You grew up too fast and she just wants to hold her daughter as she once appeared several years earlier, as a child. Time goes by quickly and what you should understand, even if you don't care right now is one day, you are going to wish you were a child again or had the things you are throwing out.

In essence, you don't really have to throw everything away. Just keep the things that mean the most to you, even a couple things that your mother really wants you to hold on to, just for her sake. You're going to come across a time that you will look back on your times and remember your childhood. Do it with something that you treasure most. Even for your mom's sake, she just wants you to keep these things so that you will remember yourself even when you're older. Just for her, even if you really don't want anything, have a time and sit down with her and go through the things together, remember the memories together, let her know that you remember them as well.

In the end, that's all we really have are memories. You might as well make the best of everything you have in this life time.

I wish you the best in time spent together, especially in the season of our Savior.

Happy Holidays.
J.F.

Answer 3

Time the trash one day where you meet the garbage man at the curb. That way she cannot get it back. She is trying to hold onto your childhood, but you are no longer a child. Sit her down and tell her you plan to get rid of these things. Then give her the option of keeping a few things (set an exact number!) but the rest is trash. Give her a week, then meet the garbageman at the curb with your trashbags. Packratting everything from your childhood isn't helping anyone. Its clutter and unwanted. I'm all for a few sentimental pieces, but not a room full!

Answer 4

Jody G is onto a good thing. Take a shoebox (or a box of similar size) and sort all your old things from your childhood. Fill the box up with the smaller, more sentimental treasures. It'll be kinda cool to hold on to a few things, but I agree with you in that you don't have to keep everything. Keep it under the bed or in your wardrobe or something. It's not as if it has to be on full display.

Answer 5

I know where she is coming from. I have a hard time getting rid of my daughters stuff-and she's only 19 months old! But if you're not sentimental about those things, I think it is a really great idea to give them away-esp. to kids who need them. Let her know that you're giving them to these kids. Maybe she can go with you when you drop it off. I'd look for a children's hospital-ESP. this time of year. They really need toys and such. Tell her that she should be glad to know that it is going to someone who needs it .And that if it'll help her, keep a few things that are special, maybe for a hand down to your children some day. Ask her to store them away in the garage to keep safe. That way you can get rid of what you don't want hanging around, know that what you did get rid of is in a needed place, and your mom will be happy with the things you decided (personally decided) to keep. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

tell your mom politly that although so and so gave it to you that you do not want it any more. that obviously it means more to her than it does to you and ask if she would like to keep it with her things. soon her things will begin to get full and she will want to give them away too. it also kind of sounds like your mom is a little sad about u growing up and wants to keep your memories close by. also she may thing that if you give something away you will forget your memories or that you willw ant it later down the line. explain to her that these are your things after all and that you do not have any use for them anymore, nor do you hav the room for them and your new things. again ask her if she would rather keep them with her things.

Answer 7

Tell your mom you'd like to redecorate a little since you've gotten older. Take out the things you've outgrown, put them in a box and ask her where you could put them for safe keeping. You don't ever have to really take anything back out, but it is there just in case. Your mom gets to keep all the stuff, you get it out of your room... everybody's happy.

Answer 8

My kids have "baby boxes" -- large Rubbermaid containers that hold childhood things they think they no longer want but that I feel they should hold onto for possible sentimental reasons. They reject what they want, I put things into the boxes if I feel they might want them someday, and they don't have to worry about it ... or store it in their rooms. You might suggest this to your mom.

Answer 9

Your mother's suffering from Empty Nest syndrome. There's an emotional tie to most things she wants you to keep and she can't understand why they don't have an emotional tie to you. She probably thinks it's a fault in you. To avoid this, you have to be considerate of her feelings. Keep them in a "special" or "safe" place until you leave her home and can discard them free of guilt trips. Or get rid of them when she's not around. But you may want to keep a few things just for history's sake...it's really neat for my 10 y/o daughter when she gets to read poems I wrote bored to death in Geography class in 10th grade or look through my old boyfriend's pictures and tell me what dorks they all look like.

Answer 10

it must be melancholy. i've got been by way of melancholy and it may look as though laziness to multiple human beings. tell her you're in contact approximately her and ask her to take this quiz at internet MD to work out if it relatively is melancholy (first link). those quizzes are not the terrific device, yet they help (I spent a whilst in denial previously each and every thing and that impacted my solutions). the 2d link is a talk board I used that has hyperlinks and supplies that would desire to assist, in case you like extra. good luck and God bless.