Should I get a share of the house we are living in if I survive my husband?

Question

3 years ago, we got married. We have 7 childre (he has 6, I have 1)from 12 years old to 21. I am a step mother of 6, and I do everything as a mother and wife does. One day, he told me that he would like to leave the house to his children, while I could get his RRSP after he dies. I don't know how much he has with his RRSP Account. My husband and his deceased wife bought the house we are living in. I know I didn't contribute a tiny bit to the house. But I work to support the whole family with him. And also, I am helping his deceasesd wife to raise their children, even though they are not that young. I don't think it's fair to me and I don't feel the same as before. I feel like I am just a helping hand instead a part of the family. I don't want to talk to him on this, because I feel like I am a greedy person that way. Please help me out, thanks.

Answer 1

Tell him you need to know how much is in that RRSP account because if he dies before you do, you need to know if you and your child are going to be left out in the cold or do you need to stop doing anything for his kids as of now and get a job to ensure that you and your child are taken care of in case he croaks before you do.

Answer 2

I think you need to speak with your husband about estate planning -- you don't know what the balance of his RRSP is and I don't think it's unreasonable to have some idea of what your financial outlook would be if, to be blunt, your husband was hit by a car tomorrow. But I have absolutely no issue with him leaving the house to his children.

He and his former wife -- their mother -- bought the house together; clearly that is his kids' childhood home and where they have grown up, or are growing up. Not to mention, with whatever assets he has he's trying to look out for six....count 'em, six....children.

Curiousity: is the mortgage paid off? I'm assuming it is, because you say you "didn't" contribute a tiny bit to the house. So if you have invested nothing at all financially, and it doesn't have the same personal/sentimental value to you that it does for him and his children...yes, I think it's greedy to want to own the house.

However, it is not greedy, in my opinion, to want to ensure that you have a place to live. I don't know what your finances are like or what your plans/options would be if your husband did, in fact, die tomorrow, but perhaps you should discuss with him the possibility of providing for you in his will the right to remain in the house while you're still alive (or until you remarry, or until you reach a certain age...you get the idea). That would address any practical concerns you might have about where you would go.

Another thing to consider: unless there's a lot of other assets, or the children have money of their own when the time comes, there are going to be expenses in connection with your husband's death...whenever that occurs. To satisfy debts and pay taxes, the house might have to be sold in any event. And if not, as a practical matter....one house....six kids...it sounds to me like it will probably get sold. Your husband may not be thinking through the practical aspects...or he may be well aware of them and not care because it's a sentimental decision. Either way, he is entitled to leave his house to whomever he wants, the decision to leave the house to his children doesn't seem unfair to me if he's planning on "taking care of" you elsewise (and he is), and it does seem greedy to me for you to expect to inherit the house that belongs to your husband under the circumstances you described.

And hey, if you're still married in another dozen years, he may feel differently. As it is, you've been married for only three years, and in that sense you are each relative newcomers to one another's lives.

By the way: what assets are you leaving to your husband?

Talk to him about his RRSP (and living arrangements, if you feel the need); leave the house issue alone.

Answer 3

It really depends on the state that you live in and the laws. If your husband has a will and he lives the house to his children, you would probably have a hard time contesting that. If he dies without a will but with adult biological children, many states will have laws that dictate how the house is inherited (look up intestate laws). Many states will say that the house is inherited by the adult children, but that the surviving spouse has the right to live in the house for life (must pay the expenses though.) Your best bet would be to consult an attorney to get accurate advice for your state, however.

Answer 4

ask him flat out how much is in his rrsp account...ask him will you be able to take care for yourself if anything were to happen to him, further more, you all havent been married that long...i understand why he's thinking of his children, but once they reach a certain age and are out of the house, maybe then he will see things differently. if anything were to happen to him, will you still be caring for his children? would you have to leave the house? discuss this with him

Answer 5

Hell yes you should get the house and everything else should he pass away. I would not have a problem with his children getting after you pass away but until then it is all yours. I would tell him that you are not the hired help and you are not going to be put out on the curve upon his death. You have helped in the rearing of his children for christ sake!

Answer 6

He better put it in a will. Where I live, if there is no will, it goes to the spouse, I think, but it depends on the laws in your state. In my state, there is also the ability to contest a will, but I'm not an attorney and don't know the specifics. You would have to find an attorney, but I wouldn't until it is an issue (when he passes).

Answer 7

I would let him leave the house to his children if you are still living in it when he passes away.

Answer 8

what you mean his wife if he has a wife then who are you confuse and his wife has the right after his dead and his kids