I still love my husband, he is a good provider and father but my pride won't let me take him back. He has said that he is sorry and wants to go to counseling but I feel that he humiliated me (and himself) and therefore it is done. Is this cutting off my nose, etc., etc.? Pride goeth before a fall, etc., etc.
2006-12-18 06:20:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being cheated on is never fun, but I don't see why you are humiliated by it. The fact that your husband cheated does not reflect upon you, but upon him.
As far as taking him back, if pride is the only reason you won't, then I would suggest you go to counseling together and see if you can work things out. Pride gets in the way of people doing what is best for them all too often.
But if there are other reasons that you don't feel that you can take him back, then that's another story. Trust is the foundation of every relationship, and your husband broke that trust. If you don't think you will be able to trust him again, then the relationship won't work. But either way, counseling can't hurt. A impartial third party can help both of you to work through what you are truly feeling.
2006-12-18 06:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by MELISSA B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically he doesnt deserve you. And he owes you whatever space you want. Let him know you need time. Even if its a year. If you see he is out in the dating scene then he is not sorry or thinking of your pain.
Flip side: If you do take him back, the PAST is PAST. Either take him back all the way or not at All. Nothing will destroy a marraige a second time more than dis trust and bringing up the past.
Its not a pride issue. Some mistakes you shouldnt make, And there is no legit excuse for it.
2006-12-18 14:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by Gyasi M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can be reconciled. It will take a lot of time and lot of talking and him "proving" for you to be able to trust him again. But if you really love your husband give him another chance. I believe he truly is sorry. I'm not saying let him keep cheating,but I would talk and talk and maybe even try the counseling and see if you can work it out. Dont let pride stand in the way of your happiness and your family. At least see if its worth saving.
2006-12-18 14:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by Shampaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are making a huge mistake. YOu should give him a second chance. Remember your vows and you' will find that you have to forgive him.. You are not God for judging what he did you need to forgive him and move on with your life. If he told you he's sorry and has promised to go to counseling it must really mean that he's really sorry for what he did and wants a second chance to redeem himself. THings won't be the same again but at least this should bring you two closer together. IF you don't give him another chance you will regret it later when you realize you love him and wnat him back despite what happened and it might be too late. Sounds like he wants to wrok things out but your pride will get you nowhere. I'm living proof that my pride has left me with no money, no friends, miserable and no man. Don't let this happen to you. pray to God for help and you will see that the right thing to do is forgive him and start all over.
2006-12-18 14:30:00 · answer #4 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hold your head high and do not be humiliated. You've done nothing to be ashamed of. This is a hard situation and you are not to blame. You were trusting and got burnt. Don't regret being a trusting person. This is more of a reflection of his unfaithfulness. I have lived through this kind of pain. Just remember to maintain your integrity and don't let it make you bitter. Always be kind to yourself & the people in your life that love & care for you. It will take time to heal.
2006-12-18 14:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe, he cheated.
He did humiliate you. He lied and cheated and disrespected you. He made you look a fool in front of friends I am sure.
These are all normal feelings. That is why adultery is the only biblical cause for a divorce.
Not only did he have sex, but he trampled a sacred union and rendered it cheap and meaningless.
Move on...
There are many out there that will love and honor you.
2006-12-18 14:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has been humiliating at one point are another. Everyone has also humiliating someone at one point in their lives also. It is really up to you, it is a marriage. You could try and make it work. If you don't want to then you are giving up something that is suppose to last forever. I am not mad at you cause he did **** up, and it is up to you to forgive him. You don't have to if you don't want to.Give it a little more thought and then make your decision and don't turn back on it.GOOD LUCK, AND SORRY FOR YOUR TROUBLES.
2006-12-18 14:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by lhpretty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it's up to you and your standards. Your husband cheating has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his insecurity, selfishness and inability to communicate and resolve problems. Cheating is a sign of no self control or frustration. It can be fixed only if he really wants to change his life and you provide him the opportunity.
2006-12-18 14:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by Lab 7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it's not your humiliation it's his. There are no good reasons to cheat, he hurt you and your family, feel good about yourself, you doing the right thing by making him deal with his actions.
2006-12-18 14:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by ropemancometh 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. You're better off taking him for all his money than taking him back.
2006-12-18 14:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by alighier 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋