My wife and I made the mistake about talking to other people regarding our relationship. We just needed support but we turned and bitched to family. Never really understood the damage it did. I don’t talk to people anymore about our relationship (even though she doesn’t trust I don’t). However I know she still talks to her family about us but she won’t admit it but every time we fight she’s always on the phone to them. How do I make her realize the damage it does and tell her to knock it off without sounding like I don’t want her to communicate with her family? Why won’t she stop doing that? It’s like she’s too attached to them and it almost feels like she’s having an emotional affair with her family. I don’t want to take the hard road and tell her that if she’s doing it, I’m going to start using other people for support. That wouldn’t be right. It’s interesting to note that her family was nothing to her now it seems I'm nothing and they're great. what the f^%*?
2006-12-18 06:19:17 · 5 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try to come to an agreement with her that you both will talk to each other about the problems first, and if you can't solve them together get a counsellor that the two of you can go to for help rather than dragging in other family members. it's not really any of their business nor their concern. she may also be needing more emotional support than you are giving right now, so let her know you're there to listen to her without judgement. she may need to vent a little, so let her without getting defensive (its tough!) basically, encourage her to talk to YOU, about
ANYTHING, and she won't so much emotional support from others
2006-12-18 06:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That can definately be a problem because now her family knows all of the dirty laundry, and of course they're on her side. Sounds like you two have a communication problem. Sit her down and tell her frankly that from now on, you want to be the one to hear her concerns. You love her, you trust her, and need her to trust you. If she can't say things to you face to face, ask her to write them down so it gets to you. Let her know how much her talking to everyone else is damaging your relationship. Be calm, and very open to listen to her. Maybe she feels you don't listen, and that's why she calls them instead. If this doesn't change soon, you have no marraige. Good luck.
2006-12-18 14:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to just sit down and talk with her. Tell her you want to tell her how your feeling, and if she respects you enough..she will be more then willing to listen. I agree that your business should simply be YOUR BUSINESS. No one elses, not even the whole families. It's about you and her. That's it. It's okay to get support from family sure...but you and her need to talk first.
2006-12-18 14:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by Roxy1316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, dude...1st rule in marriage - Don't pee on the seat and put it down when you are through, so she doesn't fall in the toilet in the middle of the night.
2nd rule of marriage - When you marry someone, you marry their whole family. This is what you have to look forward to...she loves her family and shares things with them...Again, sorry.
2006-12-18 14:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by xxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry guy... But your wife has to talk to someone when she cant talk to you. If you make ANY woman stop talking to her friends and family, she will become sullen and mean. I wouldnt try to make her stop talking to them.
2006-12-18 14:23:58 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋