Can a marriage survive an affair?

Question

I would like to hear from those who actually experienced adultery in a marriage, whether you stayed together or not. Or maybe it happend with your parents or neighbors. Thanks.

Answer 1

I don't think there is a clear answer to this. I see someone has already answered no yet there have been more marriages to survive an affair than any of us can count. My ex and I separated and I found out she had been seeing someone else. There is no way I would have taken her back if she had wanted to come back. Other people are different and maybe willing to accept one indiscretion.

Answer 2

My mother had a three year affair on my father. He took her back for some reason. Things seemed OK for about 2 years and then she had another affair and it ended.

As far as I can tell, marriages survive affairs about 50% of the time. Of course, some marriages survive affairs when one partner doesn't know about the other's activities. Or they chose to ignore the activities.

I think my marriage would not survive it, but you never know. Hope we never have to find out.

Answer 3

Yes, but the trust has to be repaired. The paty that was cheated on has to be the bigger person and have the willingness to forgive and keep from dredging it back up. I cheated on my ex wife and I know she would have stayed with me if I wanted to, but she wasn't willing to admit that she had any responsibility. I refused to work things out because I knew things wouldn't change. If she would have had an open mind and been willing to look into the things she did that made me lose interest, I probably would have tried to work it all out with her. It is hard to do, but if you are both able to communicate honestly and if you are willing to do whatever it takes to correct the things that are wrong, a marriage can be strong and happy even after an affair.

Answer 4

I know several marriages that survived an affair. Mine, however, did not because he kept going back and got tired of standing in line and waiting for my turn. But I know of people when both people work at salvaging the marriage they go on to some of the best years of their lives. But the main thing they say you have to do is learn to forgive the person who committed the affair and take your own responsibility in their matter.

Answer 5

My husband has cheated on me. We had a long talk about things and decided that we should give it another shot. So far, So good. We have been together for 7 years and tomorrow is our 3rd wedding anniversary. When both partners are willing to meet half way and work together, the marriage can be saved.

I'm not saying it will be easy, because it wont be but it is possible. It takes alot of time and alot of work to get through this but you can get through it. You may forgive your spouse for cheating but you will never forgot, I think that's why its so hard to move past it but just have faith. If you both want to make it work, You can.

Answer 6

I think marriage can survive an affair if both are willing to change and give each other a second chance, but if love flies out of the window then divorce knocks at the door.

Answer 7

a marriage can survive an affair yet given which you relatively choose it to. you ought to be keen to place the previous interior the previous and that would properly be something which would be puzzling to do. some human beings have self assurance the asserting as quickly as a cheat consistently a cheat yet i think that everybody merits a 2nd threat. while you're keen to place the affair interior the previous and make a clean initiate it is done. it is going to maximum probable be an prolonged and puzzling street merely before you. stable success on your scientific care. wish that it enables the marriage.

Answer 8

Yes! You have to make a decision to deal with the real problems head on and seek help. Affairs are selfish responses to underlying problems. Most of us are not taught how to communicate "properly". There is usually no honesty, openess, or active listening. Decide how much you and your spouse are willing to put into saving the relationship and meet that goal. Other then that, know when to let go. I've been on both ends of this issue with the same spouse and we are putting it back together through spiritual strength, love, counseling and family. Also pay back only makes you feel worse. I don't recommend that approach. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Answer 9

hmm. so.. my dad had an affair. and it was a nightmare for me, so u can imagine how was my mum feeling.. however... they still together... my dad moved out for some time...i did long serious talk with him like i hv never before done... i know he had a s e x with that *****. my parents now together,, i don;t know when was worse. while dad did not live with us or right now, no love, no respect. they live just like that.. my dad never told my mum " yes i did s e x with that woman" they just closed topic.. god it is so long story..
in my opinion...if u and ur partner love each other much it can sill work.. but who can tell about love if he went to bed with other.. where is that love? second . important is how he acts in this time. and what are the reasons he told u for his betray... i m a person who faithfulness is so much important for. after an affair always everything changes.. there is no trust.. it is that what i see in my parents relation right now... like they left somewhere theirs loves... sad... so sad...if u can be sure that he will not do that never again.. forgive.. somehow.. and try.. or if u are not sure about anything and u still want to be with him.. ok try.. again.. just if u will be unhappy... escape from this relation.. take care

Answer 10

A marriage can survive after an affair, but is VERY hard for a long time. That trust needs to be rebuilt and there has to be effort on both sides and its hard when you are the one that was betrayed because honestly for awhile you just dont care. My husband cheated on me and then wanted to make the marriage work. I was pissed because he made the choice to screw everything we had up and then make me decide it the marriage should end..he left it on my shoulders. We have two wonderful kids so I decided for them I would see how it went..its been 5 very turbulant years but we are really doing well. We had some good counseling and we both had to work very very hard. I wanted to cheat very badly to hurt him as badly as he hurt me..its so soo hard NOT to cheat in return..each day is very hard...but honest is really the core of it all..rebuild trust and honesty..if there is any doubt whether one is being dishonest..things will deteriate very quickly..good luck.