hi, my husband had an accident in 2001. in 2004 he got compensation. when our friends heard we were getting compensation they were always round. when the cheque cleared he came with us to get some money out and asked for £2000. we said yes as long as he pays it back after a month. when the money had gone we never saw his family for months. he still hasnt paid any back to this day. i went round about 2 months ago and had a word about not seeing them since our money was gone. they have started coming around again but he never mentions the money. we ask but he says he cant afford it. i know we wont get it back but should we stay friends with them? we will never make this mistake again ever.
2006-12-18 05:54:52 · 25 answers · asked by MICHAEL A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
they have been agreeying to arrangements since they had the money 2 yrs ago but havent paid any back. we have no proof that we lent them the money so cant take them to court. i told him we were gonna take him to the small claims and he said he would deny having any money of us.before we got our money they used to help out with £50 here and there and they always bugged us for the money back. he bought a plasma telly and an american fridge freezer with the money after he told us he needed it for bills
2006-12-18 06:09:09 · update #1
Well this person is clearly not being a friend to you because he has used you to get money and lied to you about what he would spend it on.
I suggest that your main concern is to get the money back. So I would remain friends with the person. I would sit down with them and discuss calmly(perhaps with A glass of wine) one evening and explain how you feel. I would say that you and your husband are really hurt that you have loaned such a huge amount of money to them and they haven't paid you back. Explain their actions have made you feel used and lied too and that you feel that they dont value you as friends to them.
Say that you want to sort out this situation for the sake of the friendship because it is really bugging you(and you own financial needs!). Then ask them about their feelings on it. Then you can explain that you do need the money to be paid back but maybe you can come to an arrangement like £100 per month paid to you until it is cleared, or maybe they can pay back most of it and you can call it quits. It may be better to cut your losses and work to get at least some of it back?
Also if you really should speak to the solicitor about the strength of the claim, its possilbe you could still have a claim, do you have records of the funds leaving your bank account and he may have records of it entering your friends? If you do this first you could use it as leverage when you chat to you friend first before going through the courts.
As for your friendship, I really don't see how you would be able to stay friends with a person that has treated you so badly? Apart from the interest you have lost if the money was in savings all this time or if it had been invested. Further dont forget they have had an interest free loan from you if they do pay you back, or a free £2000 handout, thats almost like winning the lottery!
Best of luck, maybe this will be a learning curve?
2006-12-18 07:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think of it this way....if you stop being friends with them then you know for a fact that you'll never see that money again. Just know for next time that you will never loan money to them again! Just remeber Karma! Maybe one of their family members will get in a accident and when the check clears be first in line to say, "I am having a rough month can I borrow some money." You have to know that you were the better person and sometimes you will be **** on for it but maybe with time you will have the money and the friendship won't be ruined.
I just think that it's very wrong of them to tell you that they would deny it if you took them to court. And you are deffinately not in the wrong for questioning the freindship despite some of the comments that I read on here.
2006-12-18 06:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by flightchix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess this is a lesson learned.They should be ashamed. I guess you need to decide If they intentionaly "ripped" you off.I would express to them that you feel as though they decieved you.Its wrong that they took the money.Maybe you could write up an aggreement to say that they can pay the money back over 12 months, interest free at a rate that wont leave them unable to manage.Try and meet them half way or them meet you.Get the document written up and whitnessed by an independant party like a solicitor.Good luck and don't go lending anyone anything again.
2006-12-18 06:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't stay friends with them and I wouldn't continue asking for the money either. Learn from you mistake and move on. Basically they showed they were only friends when you could help them out but now they can't really be bothered. Them coming around again is only an act, they really don't want to be friends with you. Cut the trash out of your life and move on. From this point on don't lend large sums of money to anyone without have something written that states they will pay you back, when they will pay you back and have them sign it and get it notarized. If possible give it to them in a check and in the memo area write loan on it
2006-12-18 06:08:39 · answer #4 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should stay friends with them even if you dont want to. TRhis way there is still a possibility that you will get your money back. Pester them when they have a little more money. If they buy a new t.v keep asking really get on there nerves - if your not guna get the money back then you might aswell have some fun out of it.
2006-12-18 05:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by Sophie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on you, are you the forgiving type or are you a non-forgiver? ahaha that sounds funny, anyways, i think that sometimes life throws us a ball of un-understable things...
This is one, why shouldn't i get my money back...
I will never talk to him and in fact will take his *** to court...
Not if you are a Nice guy, a forgiving one; you know maybe if he has a job, you could work something out. Even if its $20 bucks a day, or $100 a week.
I think if he was a good friend, then you should keep him near and work some type of payment plan...
That way you too will remain friends and get your money back, only one thing is lost, TRUST, but can be rechieved,,,,,
REMEMBER THIS:
" we are born alone and we will die alone"
-Gabriela( ur anonamous friend)
2006-12-18 06:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should work it out where they can pay you off little by little. you can determine how much they need to pay you at a time, but make it so they can afford it, but if they do not pay it off at all, then no, you should not be friends. it is like they stole the money from you because they gave you the impression that they would pay you back, so you did not take into account for not having it, but when they didn't pay it back, you lost what you thought you would have.
2006-12-18 06:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by Justin H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dodgy, it would be ok as long as you were all sober,but after a few beers you may just get careless and say something like,hey dude do you have any intention of ever paying back the two grand
you filched from us? and it could turn into a battle.
2006-12-18 06:04:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work out a payment plan with him,just to try get your money back.If this doesn't work take something that belongs to him that he'll miss on a borrowing sort of way,otherwise get rid of using people...
2006-12-18 05:59:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Don't stay friends with people who use you. Surely you can find better friends. If the money is an issue, you need to ask for it.
2006-12-18 05:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋