He's not an illegal person, but he's not quite a US citizen yet, which takes a long time. He will also have to travel roughly 1500 to get it taken care of since he started it in that particular state. He's not even pulling his "own weight" although he's busting his *** and trying very hard. Should I get own with my life or be patient with him?
2006-12-18 05:47:20 · 18 answers · asked by Lara Croft 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
You know, I'm not sure that you care about him at all, rather only what he can do for you! Love should be there through the good times and the bad.
I live in a tiny town in Florida, and when I first moved down here, I was bombarded with women, whose only want in life, was to find a man who would go to work every day. None of them cared how much he made, just as long as he wanted to work.
So put yourself in their position, you could be stuck with someone who doesn't even want to work and then you'd be pulling all the weight.
My wife and I both have had off-times in our marriage, where one or the other was unemployed. Never did we think about whether to dump the other one just because they weren't working, because we knew that sooner or later things would get better.
Our "actual" love for each other is what kept us going through the hard times. There's nothing that says he is the one who's supposed to take care of you. A partnership is just that, with each person putting in whatever the difference is between what their partner is contributing and what is required. Sometimes that means that you'll be the greater donater. But if you do love him like you say you do, then stay around and reap the rewards that will surely come from his determination.
One last thing to think about: Love will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no love!
2006-12-18 07:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by Goyo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends, how much does he mean to you. When I was dating a man I felt I loved, I worked while he went to school. It was my way of helping the both of us, it was his way of striving for a better future. I had left a man who had tons of money and great future potential for this poor student. Why did I make the choice? I decided that I could be happier living in a turned over railroad car with someone I loved than in a mansion with someone because they were successful. Success doesn't always equal money. How much do you care about him? If you don't care, free him up so that he can get on with his own life. If you do care, make it work!
2006-12-18 06:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That depends....do you TRULY love him and want to be with him for the rest of your life? Then you do what the wedding vows say to do, "in good times and in bad, thru thick and thin". If you want only material possessions in your life, then I feel sorry for you...leave him and don't look back at what might have been the best love you might ever have known. Money can't buy you love they say but let me tell you, if you are willing to find a person who is busting his balls for you, it's a rarity these days. It doesn't come easy for him...what a great guy...give him cudos for trying to please you. HELP him instead of hurt him....otherwise, just do him a big favor and leave. Better he should hurt now and get it over with and find someone who WILL stick with him thru good times and bad and you to find your material joys (which can't comfort you when you are sick)...I'd think on that.
2006-12-18 05:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by vsl52 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!
You have not provided an argument against, but rather to support staying in the relationship.
If this man is a good person and he is truly giving it his level best, then do the honorable thing and give him your full suport all the way. Unless he has given you reason to go, don't! Someone else wrote that it takes time. Listen up!
2006-12-18 06:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him it shouldn't matter. When you say he's not "pulling his own weight", I gather that means you're helping to support him financially, but that's no different from a man supporting a woman, which is widely accepted. That should work both ways; otherwise it's sexist. If you're not willing to stick with him and help him get on his feet, maybe you don't love him as much as you say you do.
2006-12-18 06:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by ConcernedCitizen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ambition and desire are (from my own experience) are both attractive and respectful. Most women that are not materialistic find those to be appealing. How many guys have you been with that had money that did not have what it takes to make you happy? Exactly! If he is anything like me than your patience and support would payoff and be appreciated. If he makes you happy than your rewards may be just around the corner. I'm sure that he's not the only one that he's busting his a-- only for.
2006-12-18 06:08:51 · answer #6 · answered by danyoj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like he's got a tough one going in his newly adopted country - And his girl simply wants to be provided for or else get on with "her" life.... Sad.
2006-12-19 22:34:04 · answer #7 · answered by Vaakshri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sad question! If you love someone very much you would go to the very ends of the earth for them! You would do anything to be with them, particularly if they are trying hard. I love my wife very much and if I had to be poor in Ethiopia to be with her I would do it and do it happily. I suggest that you reevaluate your notion of loving someone 'very much.'
2006-12-18 05:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your question provides the answer. If you "love him very much" and if "he's trying", I'd say "be patient with him."
Loving someone very much is not something you want to discard lightly.
2006-12-18 05:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by johnslat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the only issue you have with him is money related then you should surely stick with him especially since he is trying.
2006-12-18 06:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋