I had told my dad about the Gay-Straight Alliance at my school and now he thinks I'm gay and (I'm bi) and he saying"I din't raise you to be gay" Should I tell him or ignore this? I'm already out to some of my friends.
2006-12-18 05:43:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
first off, i send you my regrets. i find it extremely sad when a parents or relative is so close-minded to not accept you for who you really are. my parents specifically told me that they will always love me no matter what, even if i am homosexual.
please have a long talk with your dad. he needs to understand your life and what you do.
p.s. i think the gay-staight alliance is a great thing. there is one at my school too.
2006-12-18 10:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by happyinblue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your pride and integrity is at stake and only you can measure how much you want and when to show it.
If you feel like the best thing to do is to tell your father-Do it. Technically speaking, if he hits you or throws you out of the house-you can have him arrested for domestic violence and depending on where you live, a hate crime..
And don't worry about losing financial aid for college-They make exceptions in this situation. It happened to me and I got all the financial aid I needed, and I was penniless. All you have to do is ask your future financial aid advisor is their procedure on attaining independent student status because of estranged parents. IF your parents refuse to co-operate with the FAFSA program, then the government will make you an independent and you can get your Stafford loans without them.
What you think is important is whats best. Just remember to prepare-if you think he will flip out or throw you out-have a back up house ready, and don't forget to stop at the police station and make a report first. If you can have him arrested for a hate crime, you can sue your father for all the money you will ever need for college!
2006-12-18 17:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by John Smith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the toughest questions ever.
No one in Cyber Land can truly understand your specific situation. If your dad said that he didn't raise you to be gay that could be a hint that he may not approve of homosexuals. In addition if he has a history of abuse it would be best not to go down that road and allow your sexual awareness blossom without his knowledge.
Think about this.
Do teenage boys tell their fathers that they discovered masturbation? In most cases no it is socially unacceptable. Other families welcome the conversation. It is all how you were raised and what the culture of your family is.
Sexual awareness and identity are important and are nothing to be ashamed of but if your family is not accustomed to that type of conversation maybe it is best to not discuss it until you truly feel compelled to have him know that you are bisexual.
Take care and good luck with that!
2006-12-18 13:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by synapticeclipse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time the conversation gets brought up again just calmly say "No you raised me to not discriminate". Being a black man I'm sure he couldn't argue with that, if he does... than he's just reaching. Completely ignore it now because there's no point in making your life any more stressful. Wait until the day comes when you are serious with another female and then spill the beans.
2006-12-18 13:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by IceyFlame 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you are living in his house give him the respect he deserve, remember after all he is your father. Now there is nothing you can change about yourself. Nobody raise me to be bisexual, but I am, so don't worry about it. It is just his ignorance talking Im pretty sure I will still proud of you and love you after he understand that there is nothing wrong with being like us. Good Luck...
2006-12-18 13:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore.... you can't teach an old dog new tricks! also everyone is entitled to their own opinion that includes you... so if you find ppl that don't agree with your lifestyle just move on and make the best out of it... don't forget that most parents are very close minded towards homosexuality, so you can't really expect them to understand or be supportive... respect his opinion but do your own thing...
good luck
2006-12-18 14:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably clarify with him that you are just trying to be compassionate and understanding of people regardless of their sexual choices. That you know people who live alternative lifestyles, and this is a way you can spend time with them and show your respect for their choices. As far as your personal sexuality, just let him know that you still like the opposite sex, and it is not a matter of you "being gay", just a matter of being involved in your community.
2006-12-18 13:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by spottedtan5 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wonder how you raise someone to be gay? Ignore him!
2006-12-18 14:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOOO Girl if your father is old school D.R. like mine is, he will NEVER understand. So just ignore him I think it's best for now. I keep my sexuality completely hidden from mine and I'm also bi.
2006-12-18 14:25:15 · answer #9 · answered by Broken hearted 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he did, tell him he raised you to be honest and forthright, with a sense of integrity that propells you to live a life that works for social justice of all people. Then wait quietly as he thinks of a response, it may take a few minutes.
2006-12-18 13:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by eschampion 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋