Has anyone right after getting married feel like they have made a hugh mistake. We got married a little over three weeks ago and ever since then, even on the honeymoon, the relationship does not feel the same. I've always wanted to move out on my own before getting married to him and now I feel stuck and scared.
Please help someone.....
2006-12-18 05:24:18 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I felt like that about a few months after we got married. I think it's a normal feeling that all married people get because after all the fun has died down, the wedding is over, you settle into everyday life. Marriage is A LOT OF WORK and there are going to be plenty of days where you feel like what did I do? But remember that there has to be something in your partner that you love because you probably would not have married him/her. Try to keep the good thoughts about your partner in your mind and think about those good thoughts when the going gets rough.
2006-12-18 05:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I have never felt this way (married for the 3rd time now). If you'd wanted to move out before you were even married - then no wonder you feel like you've made a mistake; because you have. If it doesn't feel right to be getting married, it is generally not a good idea to go ahead and do it anyway. Marriage doesn't "change" anything, but it does tend to amplify what's already there. If things feel "right" leading up to it, marriage makes it so much better. But if there's confusion and uncertainty, then after getting married it only becomes more pronouced. Don't be scared, it's not like you're stuck for life of anything. Figure out what is is about this relationship that you value, and see if you can build on it to make things work. You can always give up and move out if you feel it's absolutely hopeless. There's no shame in admitting you have made a mistake. Just relax, and try to make things better, one way or another. Good luck.
2006-12-18 05:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew I was making a mistake and did it anyway, I dont regret it because I have a beautiful son now. Maybe you need to try it for a while longer, then maybe things will be better. Of coarse its different you two have taken a huge step together and a new chapter in your life has begun. You can nolonger just break up or take a break. Things are going to be harder you both are officially adults you now have new responsibilities. Getting married is scary it should be, If it were easy then everyone would still be with husband/wife #1. Thats what makes the strong stronger, and the weak weaker. You obviously love your husband or you wouldnt be worried right, just remember its all new to him too. Things will soon feel normal and you can begin to embrace your new life.
2006-12-18 05:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by donnakygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'll be ok.
As humans we evolved by developing habits and following the same behavior patterns over and over because that behavior was successful, meaning we survived the consequences of it, so we repeat the behavior. (Example: eating an apple, I survived it, so I'll do it again. If I keep doing it, it becomes a habitual behavior.) So human beings are creatures of habit.
Changing habits or routines is really hard, as we all know. Deep down inside a primitive part of the brain screams "This is WRONG! WRONG! This isn't what I'm used to doing! IT'S WRONG!" It feels instinctual, a deep gut feeling of uneasiness and desire to return to the old habit or routine. If you keep doing the new thing, it will eventually, within a few weeks to a few months, become the new habit or routine, then when you try to change that...
You have made the choice to get married, probably for very real and valid reasons. Try to keep a positive frame of mind and that deep primitive part of your brain that is screaming for the old routine will eventually adjust. Obviously in a marraige this is complicated by all sorts of domestic day to day stuff, as well as family, jobs, etc. But don't let that primitive part of your old brain spoil this new experience for you. Just keep telling yourself it is normal and natural to feel that way and that you will overcome it by following through on your decision to marry.
When you buy a car this is called 'buyers remorse'. It goes away. I promise.
2006-12-18 05:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try rethinking the relationship, the good things and bad, was the marriage too quick? You don't want to be stuck in a bad relationship for the rest of your life, but if you just think things are turning bad, maybe it's something simple that can be figured out. And if you think you've made a mistake I think you can get what's called an anulment, for couples who want to seperate married less then..four months? Well, whateve it was three weeks is still early enough to get one.
2006-12-18 05:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by curiosityreincarnated 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Donn't worry you havee a normal fright and flight response. Marriage is an adjustment and the first year is scary as hell.
I hate to use this as an example but, you ever been somewhere when at first you HATED it and could not wait to get out, but then you gave it a chance and by the time it was REALLY ready to go you didn't want to go because you LOVED it? That';s what's happening right now. Give it a chance.
If it doesn't work out, do not run away, be honest with your husband and tell him that yu want to divorce. Running away creates more problems.
2006-12-18 05:38:03 · answer #6 · answered by babygyrl_nyc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you arent stuck...ask him if he notices the change in the relationship. why did you marry him in the first place? did you think marriage would change the fact that you wanted to move on? now you see that it doesnt work that way....see what he has to say about things because you can get your marriage annulled if need be. you must do what you think is best for your life's happiness. then on the other hand, its not unusual to be feeling anxious about the decision you just made. if you love him and he loves you, if he's good to you, it might do some good to try to wait it out and see what may become..you never know, it just may work!
2006-12-18 05:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by huneygrl1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should have waited to get married if you wanted to stay by yourself...You could have saved that money and put it to good use...It sounds like you was not mentally prepared for this step...Why take a big step like this and this is not who you want to be with...Do you even love this man?Why are you so scared, is it nerves that you are scared at working hard at a relationship that you help create and shape?I don't understand why you will go thru all of that and now want to on your own......
2006-12-18 05:30:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 7 years and I was feeling that way about 6 months ago and then everything changed and I am more in love with him now than I was when we first met. It will get better and you will love each other more. There are going to be tough times but they will draw you closer to each other. best of luck
2006-12-18 05:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by checotah01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be two things
ok first you love him so much and always dream to marry him and now that you married him your not sure what to do, you got what you want and confuse about your feeling and i think it just a began so don;t feel bore now
second: maybe your in love with someone else after your marriage if that the case, wake up, but i think your not sure about your life and what you want try to take some classes
2006-12-18 05:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋