Why should a 13yr old child keep a baby she was unaware she was pregnant with?

Question

Recently i post a question asking how to sway my little sister to putting her baby up for adoption. I recieved alot of negitive remarks about how I should keep my noes out of it. I dont think I made my self clear on what I was saying. My little sister stilll acts like an 8 yr old. She is not responsible enough to raise a child. Besides I belive that she will not be able to acomplish her goals in life if she keeps this child. As for my mother adopting the baby I dont think that would be in the best intrest for the child. As for the father he, if she will tell us who he is, has no idea about her situation. My sister being heavy, no one knew she was pregnant. She had to have emergency c section because she would have died during a regular birth. She wasnt even full term. Those of you who still belive that some one who has not even come close to maturity should be force into keeping a child just cause she had sex. we are not even sure it was consenual. Do u still think she should keepit

Answer 1

This may seem like it's the worst thing that can happen to you 13 year old sister but it may just be one of those curve balls that God has thrown in. God wouldn't gie your sister something she couldn't handle. I don't mean to sound so superficial and religious but I believe that with everything good that's in me. I think right now the best thing is to wait it out a little bit. She is very very young, and maybe the best thing would be to give the baby up. But maybe God has a different plan for the baby and your little sister. As an older sister myself If I was in your situation I would just be as supportive as you can be and offer to help out as much as you can. She will hate you if you pressure her into doing something she may regret for the rest of her life. I'm not saying but out, I'm saying be supportive of whatever she decides to do. If she's not ready she will let you all know and she'll let the baby go. The more you push the further she'll run. Maybe she still acts like she's 8, she's 13 and normally woud have a big big life ahead of her. Maybe this baby is what she needs to get control of it all. To grow up and to think of someone other than herself. Only time will tell! Good Luck to your whole family, I will pray for you. HAppy Holiday's!

Answer 2

You are right, a thirteen yearold may not be able to take care of a baby and give him or her what she needs to thrive. She is however the mother and it is her baby whom she carried for x months, so ultimatly the choice is hers. however your sister is very young, and like most other 13-year-olds she is probley very buisy and has things to do and as we all know a baby is a lot of work, a lot of responsability and its not a "oh, i think i'll take care of the baby today" kind of thing, its an all day every day kind of thing and thats something that your sister wont be able to get away from if she intends to keep this baby. my cousin had a baby when she was fourteen and while she loves her daughter very much, she ended up missing out on many of the things that most teens get to experiance (sporting events, sleepovers, prom, etc.) because she had to stay home with her daugher. So if i were you, i would have your family sit down and have a calm chat about the options your sister has and what actions your family wants to take. The decision will affect not only your sister but the whole family so it is best to have the [immediate] family involved. Good luck and i hope this helps you and your family :]

Answer 3

Given what you have written, and from what I know about 13 year old, I would say definitely NO.
Has she been able to keep the child? In every state there are differing laws about children being born to children. In most cases Department of Social Services gets involved to be certain that the infant is going to be safe.
Are your parent(s) allowing your sister to live in the family home? Are they taking the financial responsibility for the infant? What about your sisters education, in the US there are laws about 13 year olds and school, she must keep going to school.

This sounds like a terrible situation for everyone involved. The baby should be placed where it is BEST for the baby, and it should be done soon as these are critical months for development.

Answer 4

I agree that the best solution would be for your sister to give the baby up for adoption.

HOWEVER....you mention that your mother is still in the picture. Therefore she is your sister's guardian (you don't mention if your father is still around) and the decision is up to her and your sister. You certainly have a right to your opinion, and a right to express it, but it is not your decision to make.

Of course, since you mention in your previous question that your mother already has seven children, I definitely question her judgement. And since you have not been able to sway her decision so far, it seems unlikely that there is anything you can do to change her mind.

So it might be best for all concerned if Child Protective Services (or whatever agency you have in your location) gets involved and evaluates the situation objectively. I know that opens up a whole new range of outcomes, not all of them positive, but what's happening right now isn't very positive, either.

One more thing - since your sister is so reluctant to disclose the name of the father, is it possible she could have been raped or molested by a friend or relative? I think this needs more investigation, which Child Protective Services might be better able to do.

I wish you and your sister the best of luck in this situation. It is a very difficult one and there is no easy answer - but the most important thing, as apparently only YOU realize at this time, is what is best for the baby.

Answer 5

this is a hard queston i would give ur sister some time to think and to calm down . i would also see if maybe she can tell u who the father is by her self dont force her try to help her trust u . let her keep the child for a little while see how she does with the baby.if she does not do so good tell ur mother she has the write to do what is best for her u may also go to the law over it if alll else fails try to get some one to have custody over the baby . or maybe try to convince her little bit at a time that what would be best for the baby .

GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

I vote keep the baby. It is a part of her. It may sound easy, to just give the baby away, but I am sure it would be a very hard thing to do. It takes a whole village to raise a child. If you are so concerned maybe you would want to help out. That is your niece or nephew. Feed and bathe the baby. Read to the child. If you are the older sibling and don't think your sister is capable, help her. She does need to be responsible for her own baby. I hope your mother gets her on birth control.

Answer 7

What does she want to do and how much support is your family willing to giver her? If your parents are willing to support this child and your sister wants the baby to be in her life then there is no problem with keeping the baby. Why do you feel she would be better off without the baby in her life? Everyone is different and no one solution has ever worked for everyone. Your sister and your parents should have a long discussion about what is best for your sister and the baby. You might or might not be invited to participate in this discussion.

Answer 8

Absolutely not!! Had I read your first question, I would have agreed with you then, too. At 13, there is no way she could properly raise a baby. Both babies (your 13 year old sister and her off spring) would be better off if the baby was adopted by a family who could provide a loving and stable home. Wishing and praying for all the best for you and your family.

Answer 9

Your sister needs professional counselling from a youth service which may help her determine the best interests of everyone in the situation, herself, the child, your mother, etc. Try calling one of the women's shelters' if you cannot find a planned parenthood branch in your area. 13 is the youngest legal age (at least in Canada) to be left home alone for any length of time, so to be considered mature enough to be at home alone and with a child speaks for itself. Your sister may initially want the baby because babies are cute and sweet and it may make her feel loved, however that wears off very quickly when you are up at night with the child or during the usual childhood illnesses and temper stages.

Again, I would stress professional help would be the best way to get the answer to your question and to get help for your sister.

Answer 10

I can't believe people sent nasty remarks telling you to keep out of your younger sisters business.She's 13 that 33.No your sister shouldn't be forced to keeping the baby,especially if she acts like an 8 year old,i mean a baby raising a baby,it doesn't make any sense.I hope that whatever the out come that your sister and your family are o.k.Take care.