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Ok im 16 and i have a loveing boyfriend and loveing family and i want to have a baby but there is a point to me where i don't cuz i might not have time to do anything... i have been thinking about this and i don't want my family to get mad at me or having to get an abortation PLEASE HELP MEEE

2006-12-18 05:06:17 · 50 answers · asked by Keara 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

50 answers

You are definetly not ready to have a baby. Especially if you are not married. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is bad for you or anything, but obviously he is not ready otherwise the two of you would be married. You have to remember, this isn't something that you can just get rid of if you don't like it in a few years. If you have a baby, you are going to be a mom for the rest of your life. You will have someone to take care of for at least 18 years. How are you planning on supporting this child? From your parents or your boyfriend? They might not be there for you for the entire time. Once you have a child they are your life. are you ready to give up your life for someone else?

2006-12-18 05:07:46 · answer #1 · answered by Amy_S 3 · 2 1

When i was 16 I wanted a baby so bad that all I could think about was that. I understand you have a good boyfriend and family that would help you but you just don't understand how hard your life would be. Yo uwouldn't be able to go out with your friends like you would want to, you would have to get a full time job to support yourself and your child, imagine how hard it would be to finish school or go to college. Don't you want a good job so you could give your baby everything. I would suggest just waiting but I know that no matter what anyone on here says only you can change your own mind. I waited until i was 18 and still there were a lot of things that I missed out on. I don't regret having my daughter but I defintley see where my life would have been different if I had waited even longer then that. No matter what you decide your family won't be mad, they still love you and would help you but really try to be selfish and think about you. If your boyfriend loves you then you will be together in 3,4, 5 years when you are ready to have a baby. Please think this through because there are so many young women that have babies then have to struggle through life to make ends meet. Good luck!

2006-12-18 05:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by Angee D 2 · 2 0

Might not have time to do anything? Huh, you won't have much time to do anything else. Babies are very time consuming, and very involved. If you are 16, still in school and not pregnant already I'd suggest that you wait until you at least finish high school. You really need that education, as well as you can't depend on anyone to help you with that baby if you have it now. Babies change everything some good, and some changes are not so pleasant, you need to seriously weigh if you're ready to grow up now. Do you like your freedom on the weekends? Is that something you can give up easily? Can you be responsible for caring for another person around the clock? There is so much responsibility that comes with babies, and not being ready for it will truly make you feel limited. However, if you are already pregnant, then I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can find a way to juggle everything stay in school though!

2006-12-18 05:10:41 · answer #3 · answered by ... 4 · 3 0

If you are not pregnant at this time, I wouldn't suggest getting pregnant for a while. You still have a lot of time and right now you should be focusing on the things you want to do and what you want to do after you graduate. If you have a baby, your life will revolve around that child and you may miss out on a lot of highschool/post highschool opportunities.

If you are already pregnant, what I've said above still stands. If you talk with your family and they are supportive and you decide to raise your child. Life may be a little more difficult, but in the end you will probably find it worth while. My cousin had a child at 17 and it was hard, but she wouldn't give up her daughter for anything (my cousin is 27 now).

If you don't feel ready to raise a child and/or you don't have the support of your family, adoption is always an option. There are literally millions of people who can't have a child, who would love to have the opportunity to raise a child.

2006-12-18 05:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

get a job at a daycare and take care of toddlers first. do not take care of infants, take care of toddlers. toddlers will test your ability to be a mommy.
I had the same obsession like you when I was a young teenager. I loved babies like they were dolls. Then when I was 18 years old, I got a job at a daycare taking care of 10 toddlers ages 1-3 years old. All by myself without any help.
I lasted there for 1 week. I always came home with headaches when I came home from the job. When I quit I told my boss I couldn't take it anymore and I cried because I was relieved that I finally left the job.
After that daycare job experience I didnt want to have a baby for a long time. I finished school and got a job. I took a lot of vacations with my husband then fiance and traveled alot. I was living it up. I had fun. Then we settled down and started planning for a family. I was 25 years old when I had my boy. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I'm not going to say you are still young. you know when you are ready to have a baby when you and your boyfriend are financially independant and have your own place and not relying on your parents anymore.If you are still together by that time. Because becoming a single parent takes a lot of work and you are always stressed and you start losing your friends. When I was 16-19 I had a lot of different boyfriends. They all didn't work out cause they were young too. I do not know if your current boyfriend is the one who will spend the rest of your life with. Give it a year or 2 whether or not he has a change of heart. Women mature faster than boys.
Enjoy your youth first with your friends and live it up.because you are only young once.

2006-12-18 05:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 1 0

The first question you should ask yourself:

Can you provide a better life for your child than you had growing up?

This includes:
Financially
Educationally
Emotionally

Can you provide a house, a car, food, electricity, clothing, and medical/dental care for your child and yourself WITHOUT government assistance?

Can you help your child with ALL of their school work at every level, including high school mathematics, algebra, science, English, history, etc?

Can you love and nurture your child, such that they grow up with a healthy self-esteem and they value your advice and guidance?

If the answer to all of these questions is yes, then you may be ready to have a child. Otherwise, determine what you need to work on and make becoming the best parent that you can be your goal.

Most young ladies in your position need a few years of school to get the education thing down, and a few years of maturity doesn't hurt either. Plus think about the fact that you will probably NEVER get to party with your college-age friends. Cause once you have a baby, partying takes a back seat to feeding, cleaning, and diaper-changing. As they get older, you can get out some, but you will always have to be responsible for them.

2006-12-18 05:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by jimvalentinojr 6 · 1 0

You are too young. How are you going to support the baby? What it it's father doesn't help as much? The amount of money needed to support the baby alone is growing more and more...even if you have a job, you'll still need help. Have you thought about diapers, washcloths, formula, toys, bottles, bibs, shoes, pajamas, socks, jackets, hair stuff, going to the doctors, medicine, all of that? There's tons more but the point is, you should get settled, have a reasonable income, be comfortable in your living environment...this should come at the age when you know what career you'll have! You aren't finished with school and having a baby will definitely deter your graduation. If you don't graduate, it will be even harder to get a good job. I hope you make a smart decision...

2006-12-18 05:20:45 · answer #7 · answered by Nay Nay 2 · 2 0

Well I can tell you you should live your life first. There is plenty of time to have a child, and if your boyfriend is pushing you to have a child, then it isn't a good thing. You are 16, you still have highschool to finish, go to prom, college to go to, you don't need the extra stress a baby may give. Trust me I know how you feel, Ive wanted a baby since I was like ten, but then think about what you'll be missing out on. Babies are inncocent beings, and need the full attention and love that they deserve. You still have plenty of time trust me. Start with a puppy, that's what I did. Get a small one that you can cuddle with and love just like a child. My puppy keeps meso much company, but I can still leave her when I need to do things. You can't do that with a child. I am a senior in college, and have friends who go to college and have a child. It is sooo difficult for them becaus ethey have to find a babysitter or daycare, pay bills, spend time with their child and keep up on schoolwork. It is a very difficult task. Many teens that have a baby also go into depression because of having children. Every child deserves the best, and at your age just like anyone else is pretty much impossible. Trust me I loovoe kids, I am going to be a teacher so trust me I feel the same way you do. But there are just some things that you need to wait for. The best things in life you do wait for. So in my opinion, I wouldn't. Finish high school, get the college expereince and live your life. There is plenty of time to have a child. If you need anything pleas eemail me!

2006-12-18 05:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by Katelyn Beth 2 · 0 0

16 is too young to have a baby. Have you asked any mothers what it's like to have a newborn in the house? Have you asked any parents what the cost is to raise a child?

I don't have any children yet. But I have seen family members and friends with their families. This is what I've seen and heard so far......... For the first 3 months of the baby's life, the mother has to feed their baby every 2 hours. (And yes, that means getting up at midnight, 2, 4, and 6 in the morning to make sure the baby doesn't go hungry). Any parent in the house is severely sleep deprived for at least 3 months. And the baby goes through at least 9 diapers a day. (Can you imagine how expensive that gets? A pack of diapers, from what I've seen, can cost $15 or more).

A baby has to be taken care of 24/7. If you'd want to stay in school, you'd have to find someone to babysit. I know you think your mother (or father) could do that. But you don't really know if they would do that. They are people, just like you, and probably have other obligations during the day. Your mom and dad are already taking care of you. It's not fair to ask them to take that much responsibility and care of another person that they didn't create.

You should volunteer to work somewhere that helps teenage mothers. You really need to see the things those girls are struggling with. You need to understand that having a baby is going to make it very difficult for you to finish school and hang out with friends. When you have a baby, your life is going to change way more than you can possibly imagine.

If you don't finish school, it's going to be very hard to find a job beyond fast-food. And believe me, it's impossible to raise a family working only 1 minimum wage job. My husband makes nearly double the amount of minimum wage here. And we will be fortunate to find a decent house we can afford.

If you really want to have a baby, it's better that you wait until you're married and old enough to have a good paying job.


*****


Other baby expenses:
Baby Wipes. For the many numerous diaper changes.

LOTS of baby clothes. Babies frequently get their clothes dirty and babies grow out of their clothes very quickly. If you walk through a clothing section for babies, you'll notice that the sizes say "0-3 months", "3-6 months", "6-9 months", "9-12 months", and so on.

Baby furniture and accessories. Cribs, changing tables, rocking chair (or comfortable chair) for feeding the baby, baby stroller, baby car-seat (one for when they are very young, another one for when they outgrow the first car seat), baby blanket, baby toys, baby pacifiers, baby nail clippers, and so on....

Babysitter. If you want to go out sometime, you'd have to pay someone to watch the baby.

Daycare if you'd choose. Daycare expenses can be as high as $500 a month.

2006-12-18 05:48:30 · answer #9 · answered by ☼Grace☼ 6 · 0 0

You need to get an education first. If you have a baby now, it will be hard. You might not make it out of high school. You really need a college degree now, and having a baby so young could stand in the way of that. Your childhood would be over. No more going to hang out with friends, dances, parties, etc. You would be responsible for staying home and taking care of your little one. Enjoy being young and having your freedom. Get a good education so that when you are ready to be a mom, you'll be able to provide for your child.

2006-12-18 05:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 2 0

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