you fell in love with and slept with your church brother? I'm in that situation now and we are trying to stop but the chemistry is unbelievable between us.. We both love God very much and we know that we need to "get it together". I don't think he is ready for marriage and in someways I'm not either due to other outside factors in both our lives. yes we do see each other as a potential spouse and we have a great relationship outside of sex.. we can talk and relate to almost anything... we make each other laugh and we have a great deal in common.. however we want to do things the right way and are trying but its difficult. if you were in a similar situation before how did things turn out?
2006-12-18 05:03:19 · 8 answers · asked by Mary S 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
It is not too late to turn this around. It's wonderful that you recognize and want to do the right thing. Doing the right thing validates and sets you apart as a christian. Ask for forgiveness together and make a comittment to each other to refrain from sex from that point on. Sounds like you have a great relationship aside from the sex so this should not change things between you. Instead taking this action to abstain will bring greater closeness to one another because that is what true love does.
2006-12-18 06:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this is one christian's response.
I'd say this guy is a lot more than your brother now.
First of all no matter how difficult it is you must judge your own actions as disobediance to God's written Word. The Apostle Paul dealt with sexual problems with the Corinthian Church, perhaps you should reread 1st & 2nd Corinthians.
It may well be that you should marry, if you both truly feel the same love and genuine affection you've stated. Regardless you still need to break it off and repent. There is no "easy way" to repent (change your mind and go a new direction) especially when you're so compelled towards this relationship.
The biggest tool would be to become accountable to your Church oversight. That means trusting someone with you circumstances and be willing to work with them in making things right. Accountability to an actual person that will look you in the eye and ask you how you're doing is so important.
Having sex together is a lot more than just the physical joining together between a man & woman. It's the joining together of two spirits, two halves of one whole. Over time that union can become sweeter and sweeter.
When we have those relationships outside of marriage we defraud our future spouses of a level of intimacy that may be impossible to ever know without the mercy of God working in us. I've seen so many times the misconceptions and wrong role models brought into a marriage when there's been intimacy prior to marriage. God can heal anything but sometimes there are consequences. Our concepts can be molded by the person we're involved with like an imprint of the role of husband, wife, lover, provider, friend, companion, etc. that was intended by a loving God that didn't want us to be alone.
Please heed my advice and seek Christian counseling. You can't allow yourself to "hang out" with this brother alone anymore. Jesus can help you get back on track, but it's up to you.
2006-12-18 15:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by aquaman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can tell you this....and listen to me very well. If you love God, God says to wait!!!! Well, it's too late for that, but you two should ask for forgiveness and if you want to marry, then propose a vow to each other to keep your lives sacred. If you do things (just my opinion from experience) the RIGHT way, God will prevail in your life and reward/bless you for it. If you go against his rules, because Satan is conning you two into believing what you are doing is OK, then I feel sorry for what is to come to you. What? Heartache....nothing but heartbreak! I'm not judging you guys....I don't have the right, but thru life's lessons I have learned to put my lust on the back burner and keep it there until God blesses a union for me in a church with vows. I used to have a relationship just like this....I loved that man for 30 years but I found he only came to me when HE wanted to. That's not a relationship...that's being used. Love yourself enough, like I finally did, and walk away. If it is meant to be, he'll come back to you and ask you to marry him ...then WAIT. I know it is hard because of this chemistry but chemistry will come and go... a good friendship (which is what this SHOULD be based upon and not sex) will last a lifetime. My son has married his best friend in life for life. He knew the rules and it worked. I defied the rules making up all kinds of excuses why this should be OK, and mine failed because there was friendship, but also lust....and lusting after anyone the Bible says is wrong...doomed to fail. If you can talk to each other about anything and everything, talk to each other about this....the lust of this must end until we are married....then see if you can continue to be best friends. If you do, then great. If you can't, well, my point too late was well taken. Just pray to God about all things, good and bad, admit your shame and guilt to him and pray to him for strength to avoid the devil's temptations. I hope this helped. Just remember the word "Heartbreak".
2006-12-18 13:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by vsl52 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mary:
I don't believe God is concerned with what we do in our bedrooms providing we are not deceiving or hurting anyone. These feelings are given to us by God, although it is best to control them. I know how hard that is, however. It depends what is in your heart. Ask yourself: What damage can it do to anyone? Is it done with love in your heart? Is it possible the love could grow into a permanent situation? And pray to God for guidance.
I hope you don't get a lot of heartless, judgemental replies.
May you find joy and peace.
Vicki
2006-12-18 17:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by The Gadfly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did God say be fruitful and multiply? Sounds to me like you are exleriencing Gods unconditional Love, What would happen if you let go of all the mental concerts of mind you have been taught and just LOVE GOD AND EACH OTHER AS ONE AND THE SAME. "God dwells within you as you".
2006-12-18 13:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by Weldon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am Christian, aand I know that Gods love is unconditional. He gave you feelings, desires, love. You are acting on them because this is whats yours. God loves you no matter what and he wants all of us to be happy. Doing this doesnt mean that you love him less, just that you are human and God never saaid that we have to be perfect. Love is Love and you cant deny that.
2006-12-18 16:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am a christian, a catholic
i've never been in that situation though, but, i think it's great that you two feel that way.
just let it pass by, eventually it'll pass over. Just stay in touch with eachother, and maybe someday, you will get married. ( ;
2006-12-18 13:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ROFL
2006-12-18 13:35:17 · answer #8 · answered by Spiderpig 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋