my baby is going to be born in 4 months. am scary that am not going to be a good mum?

Question

people say that i act and looked like my mum but my mum left me when i was 4 years old. am now 25 with my first on its way am scary will i do the same

Answer 1

lots of first time moms are scared...no biggie....try reading all the books you can so that my squash some of your fears..

congrats

Answer 2

like alot of people on here has told you your fear of not being a good mom is important it shows that since you are scared that you will try as hard as you can to be a good mother. Talking from experience here I was terrified about it because I didn't want my baby until she was born they did a c-section and I blandly thought if they took her away from me now I wouldn't lose any sleep and that is horrible isn't it the reason i can say that is now I don't feel any way like that. they had her on that little plastic box and had the heat radiating on her and I was so curious of how she would look and they finally let me hold her it was on then I was amazed that this tiny little creature was inside me that this is what incubated in me for those long scary nine months. see I was facing her daddy not being around and I didn't have a job but I got everything she needed I thought she deserved so much better bonding is everything I had so many rows with my mum she threatned to leave me high and dry while I was in labour but I did everything on my own I didn't have anyone there for me so in the beginning it was just us like I told her dead beat daddy we don't need you in the beginning it was just us and that is how it will be. trust me it is so scary at the beginning and then it gets so much easier it will come to you everyday at the beginning is so important for the bonding you bond a little more everyday until you think I can't love this kid anymore than this then it was like the next day a little more but you will do great all you need is to try to be the best being a great mom is not perfection and you need to know your limits if you have to lay the baby on the bed or better in her crib and go out side to smoke etc whatever. at first it sounds bad but at least you'll know that at least your not on the news really looking like a bad mother. read like spock and baby books and magazines they help but you can't change what you mum did to you but you can change what happens to your baby

Answer 3

First off, I just brought my daughter home two weeks ago. And I had the same fear about not being a good mom. It's one I'm positive all mothers get. I spent days not wanting to have anything to do with daughter in fear that I would break her, or she would choke feeding her, or worst of all drop her. It's a scary feeling. But it will come to you, it's natural. And before you know it, your going to be so good with your baby, and you'll feel more comfortable.

Bringing Kayleigh home and sitting here rocking her as she sleeps is the most amazing feeling ever. To be holding so close to your heart what you brought into this world.

Good Luck, and Congrats.. You will do just fine!

Answer 4

The fact that you have lived through having your mom leave you will ensure that you do not do the same to your little boy when he is born.

Just because people are saying things to you it doesn't mean that you have to let them come true.

I agree with everyone else who said the first sign of being a good mom is being worried about your child.

Relax. You are going to be a great mom, and everything will be okay :)

Answer 5

Regardless of what you look like or act like now your whole life will change when you're baby is born. Everyone is nervous that they won't do a good job, that they won't raise their kids right but most likely you will be just fine. I had problems with my mom as a kid where she would leave and it makes me more concious now about being there for my kids. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger and I would bet you will be 10 times the mom as your's was because of that. Good luck!! You'll do great!

Answer 6

The fact that you are worried shows that you care. You will be fine. You know what adbandonment feels like and I am sure that you will take every precaution to not let that happen. Good luck and Congrats!!! If you are that concerned why don't you talk to a family therapist about your fears.

Answer 7

if you are in an english speaking country, I suggest you start learning the language a bit better. If you raise your child to speak like that the poor little thing will be tormented. people normally learn from their parents mistakes and I'm sure you have. good luck

Answer 8

Learn from her mistakes. If you can recognize what a bad mom does, you can avoid them. You'll be fine. Caring is the best thing you can do and the fact that you're worried means you care.

Answer 9

Oh honey, please don't listen to what others are saying, please. I can tell already that you'll be a great mom....... you want to know why?? Because you're worried about it.You don't want your child to have the same childhood you did. Already you are a better mom, if for no other reason that you want to be there for your child. Please try not to stress over this and just enjoy being pregnant and getting ready for the greatest love of your life to arrive.

Answer 10

the fact that you are worried makes you a good mom. As long as you care for your child, thre is no right way ir wron way, yu will be a great mom. u know how it felt when your mom left you, you would neve do that to your child. good luck.

Answer 11

honey, every woman that has every became pregnant has had that worry. if you want to be a good mom that is only natural. you will be a great mom .dont worry congrats, and merry christmas.