I have been married for 8yrs, but my husband does not turn me on at and we constantly have arguments. My childhood love and I have an amazing connection after 10yrs apart. We both are still in love with each other, but our past was kinda bad too, but I think it was because we were both young. I know that I don't want to be with my husband because he doesn't do anything physically for me,but he does provide finacially for me. I have kids that he don't do anything with so that kinda makes me think he is not family oriented and that bothers me because that's what I want along with being happy. What is your suggestion on this problem? Oh yeah, my childhood love is in jail and gets out in March with the intensions of being with me????????? Please help me out!!!!!!!!
2006-12-18 04:52:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to let all yall know, I am not ttying to leave my husband for nobody!!!! I am not trying to be with someone from jail!!!!!! I said I had feelings for him still!!!!!!! I always put my kids first....that's why I don't want to be with my husband!!!!! We have done counseling!!!!!! I have told him what I wanted sexually!!!!!!! So don't tell me what I don't what I need to do!!! I'm just looking for opinions on the situation.. I always put my kids first.. I have suggested things my husband could do with the kids but he never does. And as for the jail friend... I know all about the jail talk baby, I ain't no fool!!!!!!! I don't take what he says to heart. I am not taking care of NO man and already have a damn good job and take care of my kids well so don't put me down because I asked for some opinions! I am a very good person so don't put me down!You can give your opionion without bashing me or who I am talking about because I'm sure all of you have something you're not proud of.
2006-12-18 06:00:24 · update #1
I think that since you are not happy with your husband and hitting dead end, you need to leave...You could try you and your hubby having some alone time and going out on dates to rekindle the love you have or just make plans if you don't want to try to part your own ways...
I am glad that you know about that jail talk.....I think you should be by yourself and heal emotionally and take it slow with whomever you chose to be with as your heart and prayer will lead you to the right man...Just trust in GOD and he will give you your answers. Pray to GOD and leave it there and in time your answers will be given unto you...As long as you have faith and trust in GOD, he will never leave you or forsake you and you will be fine...
Good Luck on your decision and don't rush as you need the time to be by yourself to heal and get it together....
2006-12-18 08:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you are just horny. Leave the jail guy alone and focus on salvaging your marriage. Talk to you husband about your needs and want. He can't change unless he knows there is a problem. I know that sex is important to any relationship but it's not the only thing. Now this old boyfriend that gets out of jail, you need to think you have kids would you want him with your kids. Now that something to think about. And besides when men are in jail they say a whole lot of things that they don't truly mean especially to women who write them. Girl put your thinking cap on and talk to your husband before you do something that you can not return from. Go to counseling do whatever you can do. Usually a husband is not turning you on because you are getting fix from this other guy.
2006-12-18 04:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whats he in jail for? I can understand a mistake - but is this a pattern in his life? Is this true feelings - or is he just lonely and wanting compainship now? What does your kids think of their father? Of your childhood love? How hard will a seperation be for them? Why did you marry your husband in the first place? - These are questions you need to answer before making a decision.
My gut feeling is - you are better off working on the commitment you have already made (to your husband) - but only you know the answer.
2006-12-18 05:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop communicating with your kiddie-pal and grow up. Your children shouldn't be punished for your bad behavior by having their family destroyed over some loser who's in jail. (How do you have an "amazing connection" with a man in jail?) You made a commitment to your husband and brought kids into the picture. When the kids are grown up, leave. Until then, stop putting your own selfish ideas first. And learn to communicate with your husband instead of arguing with him! Your kids are sick and tired of that, too.
2006-12-18 05:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off you shouldn't be talking to your childhood love. marital problems are a two way street and you both need to work on the relationship. I suggest a marital counselor. you guys are having arguments because you initiate the argument to justify how much better it would be with your childhood love.
don't think for a minute that a rekindled relationship with your childhood love will be any better. it always seems better on the other side of the fence. i guarantee you it won't turn out well. the fact that you have to lie to your husband about you keeping in contact with your childhood love already tells me that you have issues and that you are a major part of this marital problem,
grow up and stop being so selfish, you have kids and need to be a responsible mother and loving wife. it's going to take a lot from both you and your husband to make this work. but first off you need to terminate any contact with your loser child hood love convict man, he's a catalyst to all your marital woes and feelings of unsatisfaction.
2006-12-18 05:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like you have a problem picking men....you kinda think your husband isn't family oriented, you are just now coming to this stellar conclusion after 8 years of marriage? Stop worrying about yourself and try thinking of the kids, what situation would be best for them? How can you improve your love life with your husband, how much do you try to add spice to the situation? What ways can you get your husband involved with the kids...put some effort into your marriage in creative ways and I would be very careful about bringing a man from jail into my life and my kids life.
2006-12-18 05:00:43 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you have already made up your mind. Think about it, you list very important qualities that your husband obviously lacks and admitted that you have been talk with another man about being with him. When it comes to love, especially the separation of love, someone always gets hurt. It is entirely unavoidable. If you leave your busband he gets hurt, you don't then you are hurting yourself and possibly depriving your children of a good father-child relationship. Always go with what makes you happiest and live with the regrets and consequences should there be any. But remember that the children are most important of all. Put their well being before your own.
Jonesy
2006-12-18 04:59:06 · answer #7 · answered by Jonesy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, in jail? No way. It's normal after your relationship loses some fizzle to think fondly of old flames. It will pass. Talk to your husband. Your jail-buddy is probably looking forward to getting out so someone can support him when he can't get a job. I think you're excited about the prospect of a "better" partner, but they all have downfalls, ummm, especially people in JAIL. Financial reasons are no reason to stay in a marriage. Support youself and get out if things can't be worked out.
2006-12-18 05:15:21 · answer #8 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DRAMA QUEEN.
You seem to thrive on drama, and are thinking of one and only. What about your kids? You have not really mentioned them. I would stop looking to your ex for happiness, and start thinking about trying to save your family. Start counselling immediately, because if you leave for your ex, things will not go well.
Especially as he is currently in jail. How do even know what kind of connection you have with this man that you haven't seen in 10 years who is in jail? You obviously broke up for a reason... and trust me, people do not change that much.
Re-think all of this, and please try to show some maturity in your decision.
2006-12-18 04:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by shaclare 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your childhood love is in prison, he is probably talking the Jail talk and anyone who will listen is fair game. Might just change his mind when he gets out. Have to talked you your husband about your lack of desire for him, maybe this is causing some of your unhappiness. I would not go for the convict and if you are truely unhappy in your marriage, then get out of it because of that.
2006-12-18 04:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋