Why does my husband disrespect me so much?

Question

I have been married for almost two years and i think i am being a pretty decent wife. I cook, clean, work and we have great sex. I treat him very well. But he seems to talk to me with such disrepect all the time. My husband is 22 and acts like im his girlfreind or something. He just doesnt understand that im his wife and he has to respect that. Sometimes i feel like i want to start being mean just cause he is to me and i dont want it to turn into that. Are any of you ladies going through the samething or maybe have some advice for me.

Answer 1

leave, you are a good person and u dont deserve this. if .ur husband disrespects you give him a altiatum, either he respects you or u leave and visit ur momma.

Answer 2

Yes, I used to have this problem. My husband was 26 when we married, is now 30, and he's just getting over it. If your husband is 22, it may be an immaturity thing. He also may be feeling a little too "tied-down". I don't mean he wants to cheat or anything, but does he ever have a poker night with his buddies or anthing like that? This can help. I'm 26, and I need my girls-night-out once in a while. However, the best thing you can do is just stand up for yourself. Don't whine, "why don't you respect me? why aren't you nice to me? waaahhhh!!". I did this for a while. Trust me, no luck. My husband would say I was a bad wife and mother, etc. I finally said, "you know what? I'm a hell of a wife and mother. I work, cook, clean, take care of our child, and when you weren't well (severe PTSD from the war), I did it all by myself and cared for you while I was in grad school, too. I'm not going to listen to your crap anymore. You just say it to get me and to win arguments by making me feel bad, and I'm not going to feel bad anymore because I know different." That was the last time he said those things. It's strange how, the more you do for a guy, the less respect he will show you. Drop the housework one night and do your own thing. If he complains, ask him if his arms and legs are broken.

Answer 3

well not to long ago I was talking to my soon to be husband with a lot of disrespect all the time a lot of put down and stuff like that and he just simply said he wasnt putting up with anymore and was going to leave and well did, and I thinking that it was important enough to stop did, and also didnt want the relationship to go there so I work vary hard at not doing it and now its getting easier and natural so my point is to simply say it and mean it and give consequence like not doing what you normally do being polite to eachother, sex, conversation like act distant and not together as you normaly are if theres nothing different why would he change to get it back the way it was, let him know point blank you didnt marry him to spend the rest of your life like this and wont and he can make a choice to work at it and do it or not and if not things wont be the same and you have to give him a taste of it or he might not know that he values it so much, just dont do or say anything that cant be undone or go back like sometimes after you start speaking a certain way to eachother its hard to go back or look at eachother the same again, Good Luck KIMBUR

Answer 4

The question is: why do you allow such disrespect? Are you afraid of losing your husband, afraid of confrontation? Was he treating you this way before the marriage? Playing tit for tat is never the answer. Treat your husband with kindness, always. But also sit down with him and tell him how you feel.

If you want to be treated like a wife, you must function like a wife, not out of anger, but with love, sincerity, and firmness. Your husband is young, and it's possible that he hasn't matured enough to know how hurtful his words are. Find the courage to sit down with him. First, let him know you love him. Then let him know that you cannot allow him to disrespect you, and don't.

Answer 5

Don't let him. If he treats you like that, walk out and go somewhere for a few days , after this he will be at a complete loss as what to do. He just thinks he can get his way because he is married with you. Either this or disrespect him back(embarrasing comments to his guy friends, get really close with his mother, begin chatting with an ex of his, or just stop doing the things he likes), pretty soon he'll treat ya better.

Answer 6

My husband, does this to me sometimes. I grew up with 4 other sisters and was taught if you can dish it out you should be able to take it! I give it right back. When I make him feel like **** then he will stop making me feel that way. I now 2 wrongs do not make a right, but sometimes I have to do what I have to do to get my point across! He understands in the end and it has changed things in the long run! I always say to him " Didn't your mom teach you if you don't have anything nice to say not to say anything at all " He just looks at me!

Obviously she didn't!
It then stops! He has gotten alot better! Sometimes you just have to strap on your balls and give it right back! Maybe he will respect you more.............. Good Luck!

married 7/ together 14

Answer 7

LOL!! same happened here sweetie i got married at 19 and he was 21 and we are now divorced but most men dont know how to react to that and being married cuz hes still young and his friends probably have the freedom of doing things that he cant do so they take it out on us. He just young and doesnt know what marriage really is. Just give it some time and talk to him about it ask him why he acts like that to u. Good luck i wish u the best of young marriage!

Answer 8

It's probably his age. He isn't a man and he doesn't know how to treat you like a woman. Being mean isn't going to help since he already acts immature he will only be more so if you do. Perhaps he needs to be reminded you are a spouse, a partner not a housekeeper and bed partner. (Maybe even a few counseling sessions if it's really hard for you ) He has obligations as a husband and they include repecting and honoring his wife.

Answer 9

Hey how are you, I know what you are going through been there done that. I can't tell you to do what I did, so what I will tell you is that abuse comes in many forms verbal, mental and physical. You might want to try to talk with your husband and tell me that you will no longer tolerate the way he talks to you. Now by saying this you will have to stand your ground and demand the respect that you as a woman deserve. Or you might want to consider going to a marriage counselor, because the problem could be deeper than you think. Best of luck to you

Answer 10

I been married to my wife for 9 years now and 2 kids and 3rd due next year in april. I never ever disrespect my wife at all. I treat her like she treat me respect too.

I think you really need to talk to him about how you feel and tell him that why are you being so disrespect me so much?? you have to tell me what I was doing wrong? I am your wife and I would like to talk about it and solved this plm.

Don't tell him are you seeing other women or you tired of me in bed or anything.

Tell him to talk to you abotu what bothering him? Ingore what other people said about you being blonde. I just find the time to sit down and talk to him and listen what he has to say remember it might make you pissed off not like to hear it but it better to know now than never know what bothering him.

Just don't mother him or anything. I hope this works out and Let me know and I would like to know... my email is [e-mail].. I hope it solved before christmas and new year. smiling.

Answer 11

I think you should start acting mean, but only when he disrespects you. He's 22, so he's still got alot of growing up to do. Although you been married for 2 yrs, he's still got that little kid inside him. Let him know over & over you don't like it when he treats you this way. Let him know you will not get off his back about it until he stops disrespecting you.