I am talking to my husband ex on the internet and she thinks I am him?

Question

I opened an account on Facebook and I stumble across my husband's exgirlfriend. At one point in time before we met they had a pretty serious relationship and we together for three years.
Well I decided to open an account under his name a drop her a line just to see if they had at all communicated since we have been together and I learned that they havent. He pretty much stop all contact with her as soon as he met me and apparantly has never looked back.
I was going to leave it at that but for somereason it pretty addicting. Now its been alittle over two months and we still exchange emails. She thinks I am him. I guess its just me wanting to know what he was like to another woman. Its also painful to hear the little things he did for her like buy her roses just because, leave her lovenotes in her car, pick out the pink and red starburst for her. It really getting to me and I dont know how to stop. I dont dare mention anything to my husband. I feel like a stalker. I have issues, HELP

Some of ya got the wrong impression. The whole roses and love notes. He does the same for me. He alwasy buys me flowers and I always find love notes all over the house and in between my files. But when I found out he did it to her also it just killed it for me. I just dont enjoy it when he buys me flowers anymore. For the record we been together almost for four years. And we are married by law not just living together. Thanks for everyone comments they mean alot.

Answer 1

Both of you should cut the communication for good. It will only end in tears.
You and your husband are married and neither of you have any business in talking to this other woman for any reason.
Value your marriage you are walking a very dangerous tight rope.

Answer 2

So you had reason to distrust your husband and break trust? Which if you don't have that you don't have a marriage. The root issue is that you feel that he is not romantic enough. But instead of concentrating on strengthing your marriage and make it deeper you are doing this stuff. And you are toying with this woman as well.... how would you feel? Email this woman and explain that since you (as your husband) are married it doesn't feel right to email but you will always cherish the time that you had together. Thank her for helping you be the kind of guy who is a good husband, etc. And then never ever tell your husband! Obviously he is a good guy if this women still wants to talk to him so don't screw up his and your life by telling him.

Answer 3

thats cool, I would have the same curiousity (sp) but thank god you found out that he did leave it alone totally, so so should you because if you lead her on that he has some intrest she might attempt contacting him another way besides e mail and then not only will he find out what you've been doing he might start here and there contact with her, so i'd advise sending her an email cutting things off like Hay it was great catching up with you and looking back and old times but you know that i'm married now and I was thinking this is inapropriate and will talk to you maybe again in the future, yea definately cut it off you might get more than you bargained for, Good Luck KIM

Answer 4

Personally I think it was pretty crappy that you did this to begin with, but there is certainly NO excuse for continuing it once you knew they’d had no contact (which I’m assuming you figured out with the very first email). You’re being deceitful and playing a game (for no reason other than your own amusement) that could end up hurting several people and costing you your relationship.

By the way, weren't you aware of the fact that he did have a life before he met you? It's none of your business what he did with or for his FORMER girlfriends.

Answer 5

This HAS to stop! I did this once myself and the consequences were almost deadly. Mind you it was in my early 20's and this woman was someone my exhusband had went out with during a brief seperation between he and I...but still. I just talked to her "as my husband" to find out if they were still talking. They weren't. Two days later she was still messaging. I decided it was time to stop...immediately...I tried to say something to the effect of "I am working things out with my wife. Talking to you isn't right. Good luck." The woman lost it...and ended up in a hospital after taking a large amount of pills.

She lived and is fine and remarried now...but my stupid game almost cost someone their life. I was stupid and childish to even consider doing anything like this but curiousity got the best of me. Don't let it get the best of you. This is a game no one should EVER play. At the least you should say your goodbyes to her as your husband and then make sure your husband knows what you have done so he isn't shocked if something is said by her later.

No matter what you do, don't continue on with this.

Answer 6

wow! A while back when me and my husband had a big fight I got on myspace and sent a message to his ex-wife asking questions about their relationship and how he treated her. She never answered. A friend of mine told me the next day that I shouldn't have asked her all that.... how he treated her shouldn't be a factor in whether I wanted ot leave him because it's 2 different relationships. I understood what my friend said, so now my advice to you is to own up to the whole thing to both of them, and then let it be. He may not buy you roses and leave you notes just because, but he promised to love only you and from what you are saying, he does just that! There is a difference in having what you want and wanting what you have. Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't tell anyone anything... Write her a brief note letting her know you don't want to communicate anymore, and just stop. You are on a destructive path, and it will really hurt your relationship in the long run. Yes, he had been with other women before you... so? Why let it destroy what you two share? Past is past, leave it there. He married you, not her.

Answer 8

They say curosity killed the cat, but satisfaction doesn't always bring him back... and that is a promise. What you are doing is lying to an innocent woman to satisfy your own curosity. You are also hurting your relationship with your husband because inevetably you are going to start comparing how he treated this girl to how he treats you. I suggest you prepare to get a good talking to from this woman, and fess up. Make sure to apologise, and try to explain why you did what you did. Maybe she will understand, and hopefully all three of you can become friends.

Best of luck,
Jeremy

Answer 9

Uh oh. That's not good. Not only did you betray his trust but you hurt someone else too. The ex is going to be very confused and hurt if you abruptly stop contact. But you can't go on tricking her into confiding private details of her relationship. You're upsetting yourself as well. All of these insecurities will undermine your relationship. Stop now. Tell your husband before she does.

Answer 10

It's just a matter of time before she calls him or goes to see him at work. Then what? You will sure have some explaining to do. Send her one last email telling her you (meaning your husband) thinks it is inappropriate to email your ex and he wants to concentrate on his marriage. Then ask her not to contact you again and close the account. I have a bad feeling he is going to find out about this by her calling him or contacting him somehow. Good Luck.